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Original poster

Does your son game?

87 replies

PlantingTrees · 17/04/2022 21:18

I’ve got a 6 year old who doesn’t game yet. But it seems that ALL boys end up being into gaming. I also see lots with gaming themed T-shirts. He sometimes plays a few little games on my phone but it makes his behaviour so much worse. He thinks about it all the time, asks about going on my phone etc etc so I have to stop it. Even just a short while or an hour is enough to have an effect. Does anyone’s son not game? And if so, do they feel left out amongst the boys?

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Hellocatshome · 17/04/2022 21:25

My 15 year old doesnt really, he may play a little bit of Fifa every now and again but goes days without touching his Playstation. He is either at the gym, playing football or with his girlfriend. He did used to game a lot more when he was too young to be out wandering the streets though.

pupcakes · 17/04/2022 21:28

My 11 year old is a huge gamer, as are all of his friends- I hear them chatting away as they play. The days of playing out are long gone (thankfully, I'd be worried the whole time) and this is the future. (Said as a secondary school worker and teenage mother!)

Original poster
PlantingTrees · 17/04/2022 21:28

It seems like it’s inevitable somehow. That’s good to hear he grew out of it tho. It just seems so addictive and it’s one of my biggest parenting worries really. I know I can be in charge of it, but it seems like it causes a lot of tension in families. I’m not anti screens, he watches tv. But gaming seems more addictive than tv does.

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Original poster
PlantingTrees · 17/04/2022 21:29

That’s what I worry about, pupcakes! I don’t know why I do so much but it feels sad to me that kids don’t play out so much. Seems to be a boys thing more.

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AngelicaElizaAndPeggy · 17/04/2022 21:33

Mine doesn't yet - he's 9 now and I'm trying to stave it off as long as possible. He knows how to climb a tree, dam a river, read a map, hike up a hill, identify birds and invent games for himself and his friends using whatever he finds about the place.

I'm aware I'm probably speaking from a position of privilege in being able to raise him this way, but I just feel that boredom and the creativity that comes from having to invent your own fun is such an important childhood skill. Gaming just seems so sedentary and instantly gratifying.

His gaming days will no-doubt come but I'm glad they haven't yet. Will never ever buy him a gaming t shirt, though - urgh.

MossyBottom · 17/04/2022 21:35

Mine both did, from around age 8. Rather too much at times. It was good for them socially as we live in a village and their friends lived miles away.
They are both adults now, both in successful careers. One still games a little and the other rarely.
My DH also played computer games from when they were first invented and still does. He's 72😁.

I always put limits on their gaming until they were old enough to moderate themselves- around 14/15.

Original poster
PlantingTrees · 17/04/2022 21:40

Ok, 9 years old is good! I don’t know why I feel so sad about it. No one else seems to feel like this and their kids all game for hours at a time. And I can’t talk to anyone about it coz I don’t want them to think I’m judgey or whatever. Luckily he’s never actually played a video game yet, only ones on phones. So he doesn’t really know they exist yet. He mainly plays with girls so hasn’t been to anyone’s house yet who games.

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Original poster
PlantingTrees · 17/04/2022 21:42

But I’m also aware that I don’t want him to be a social pariah. So don’t know if it’ll end up being mean not to let him game with his friends when he’s older.

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JimMorrisonsleathertrousers · 17/04/2022 21:43

My 9 year old really got into it at the beginning of lockdown. It was his way of staying in touch with friends and socialising.

He does it a lot, but we have some rules and certain times of the day when he isn't allowed.

I do think that some of the boys in his class that aren't allowed feel left out. But then there are other boys in his class that are into other things and are just not bothered.

BakewellGin1 · 17/04/2022 21:43

Mine is 13, plays Fifa and has had a PlayStation since age 8.
He spends a good few hours a night on it, however he still goes out, sees friends, does football training and matches several times a week.
I would hate him to never be out at all so I am pleased he has a balance.

lookforthesun · 17/04/2022 21:43

Same as @AngelicaElizaAndPeggy and mine is 10yr

Original poster
PlantingTrees · 17/04/2022 21:46

@lookforthesun does he ask for a PlayStation or whatever? Is it something he wants and is aware he doesn’t have that others do?

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Pinksalty · 17/04/2022 21:46

Mine both do (son and daughter) and so do I and their dad.
They also play outside, we have family board games and still do other stuff.
Comes in handy when you live in Scotland and winter is dark and wet 90% of the time!

At 6 they were playing a bit of Minecraft - it’s fab and fun. Nowadays it’s on laptops/Switch/PS4 and still some minecraft on iPads.

BreakerOfBras · 17/04/2022 21:47

I'm big gamer, as is my DP. While there are so many benefits to gaming, (absolutely not for six year olds though) today's games by their very nature are addictive. At his age I would steer him in every other direction in his free time - sport, reading, nature, crafting, model making, etc. Gaming can come later - in restricted, monitored contexts.

Original poster
PlantingTrees · 17/04/2022 21:47

Thing is, I know from his reaction to phone games, that he would absolutely LOVE it. He wouldn’t be one of those kids who was indifferent about it.

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Luzina · 17/04/2022 21:48

Mine both game and started around 6 or 7 with games played on a Wii as a family. I was very clear about gaming time being limited and sticking to those limits when they were young but they self regulated well from around age 12. They both have gaming PCs and a games console now (older teens). They both spent loads of time climbing trees, out in nature, playing sport, riding bikes etc as well as gaming (they still go and climb trees/ride bikes). Gaming is often a social thing, lots of chat and laughing goes on while they game.

sweepeep · 17/04/2022 21:48

Mine is 6 and plays Minecraft a little bit for a couple of evenings a week...a bit more on the weekend depending on what we do. Funnily enough though as @AngelicaElizaAndPeggy says he can still climb a tree, dam a river, read a map, hike up a hill, identify birds and invent games for himself and his friends using whatever he finds about the place, along side reading encyclopaedias and asking 14680292 questions a day!!

I actually find Minecraft has brought his reading on loads!!

Original poster
PlantingTrees · 17/04/2022 21:51

beaker that’s what I worry about, the addictive nature of today’s games. Much more so than when I was a kid and played Sonic. I can’t quite explain what it is that I worry about so much about him getting into it. Maybe it’s to do with the difference between what I want him to experience as he grows up but how I feel society might pressure me into letting him get into gaming. And it’ll just be this big thing that I can’t control and will negatively affect his behaviour.

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DelurkingAJ · 17/04/2022 21:52

Mine do. Almost exclusively with DH (they are 9 and 6). No gaming away from us and limited in term time to 30ish minutes a day. DH has always games, I was a Sims and Civilisation addict as a late teen and both of us managed to balance that with real life…

Although DS1 is now commenting (more in wonder than anticipation) that many of his school friends have consoles in their rooms with no restrictions. Nope to the nopety nope. Along with games that we don’t know or any games with unsuitable age restrictions (a bit of common sense here for games we play first!). We may have more of a battle with DS2 who is less law abiding but it’ll still be a nope until much later.

Original poster
PlantingTrees · 17/04/2022 21:53

Also, I’ve been wanting to post this for ages and have even name changed recently for it. So thanks for all not jumping on me about it! I’m glad to hear that others either don’t game or it is manageable and doesn’t take over their kid’s life.

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Nelliephant1 · 17/04/2022 21:53

Mine do and it's a real positive. That said we were very strict in ensuring that they were only playing age appropriate games, they weren't like friends who were playing 18 rated games at 12 years old.

One of my sons now works with someone he met on line and is travelling abroad to stay with him for a few days next month. It's helped my kids with their careers and meeting great people and making fantastic friendships with people they'd never ordinarily have met. It also allows friendships to conquer the problems of time and distance as it's much easier to keep in touch.

My lot watch films together with friends in different cities or countries. They choose what they want to watch and all start the film at the same time.

It's far from all negative believe me.

Whelmed · 17/04/2022 21:53

My DS is a gamer. I felt the same as OP when he was that age but he's 8 now and it was his lifeline during the lockdowns, being able to play with friends. It's definitely addictive though and if he's had too much gaming time or even just any type of screen time his behaviour would be impacted, much more so when he was younger. Having clear start and end times helped. As long as he does other things as well then I don't see the harm in allowing gaming time.

susanboyle · 17/04/2022 21:54

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Original poster
PlantingTrees · 17/04/2022 21:55

30 mins is ok. He watches more tv than that. Defo not in rooms. I had a chance to talk to some primary school aged children recently as part of my job. Some of them had unlimited gaming time in their rooms. And had also been contacted by adults asking for their address!! I was horrified.

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gogohm · 17/04/2022 21:56

My daughters both game, it's not a male thing. The eldest has a European ranking in her preferred game (adult now)

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