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Original poster

Does your son game?

87 replies

PlantingTrees · 17/04/2022 21:18

I’ve got a 6 year old who doesn’t game yet. But it seems that ALL boys end up being into gaming. I also see lots with gaming themed T-shirts. He sometimes plays a few little games on my phone but it makes his behaviour so much worse. He thinks about it all the time, asks about going on my phone etc etc so I have to stop it. Even just a short while or an hour is enough to have an effect. Does anyone’s son not game? And if so, do they feel left out amongst the boys?

OP posts:

Original poster

PlantingTrees · 17/04/2022 21:58

nellie that does sound positive. Good to hear the positive sides of it too.

OP posts:

Nelliephant1 · 17/04/2022 21:58

Oh also mine have never ever had TVs, computers or consoles in their bedrooms. They've always been in public areas of the house so they're still involved in family life happening around them and everyone can hear what's going on so nothing is hidden.

They're still at home but young adults and this is still how it is now. It's what they're used to so don't feel the want or need to hide away in their bedrooms.

Original poster

PlantingTrees · 17/04/2022 22:01

Yeah, in a communal place is good. So I can see what’s going on and he doesn’t get contacted by random adults. When/if it he does get a console, I’ll have to really be on it with safety. I haven’t got a clue atm.

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Thesearmsofmine · 17/04/2022 22:05

@AngelicaElizaAndPeggy

Mine doesn't yet - he's 9 now and I'm trying to stave it off as long as possible. He knows how to climb a tree, dam a river, read a map, hike up a hill, identify birds and invent games for himself and his friends using whatever he finds about the place.

I'm aware I'm probably speaking from a position of privilege in being able to raise him this way, but I just feel that boredom and the creativity that comes from having to invent your own fun is such an important childhood skill. Gaming just seems so sedentary and instantly gratifying.

His gaming days will no-doubt come but I'm glad they haven't yet. Will never ever buy him a gaming t shirt, though - urgh.

My dc do all of these things and sometimes they also play in the Xbox. I think the key is balance. My kids spent 5 hours outside today, I was more than happy for them to have an hour playing on Minecraft when they came in,

BunsyGirl · 17/04/2022 22:06

My 8 and 11 year old boys are both gamers. The 8 year old has only recently got into it but the 11 year old has played since he was 3! He designed and built his own PC at just turned ten and is now top of his year for ICT at his super selective grammar school. He’s just obsessed with computers and technology and that’s what he wants to go into. However, he’s also really sporty so I am quite happy that he’s living a balanced life. He was a godsend sorting out my IT problems in Lockdown one even though he was only nine at the time!

Nelliephant1 · 17/04/2022 22:09

@PlantingTrees

When you get to that stage feel free to drop me a message. My lot are very up on safety, security etc and have never been approached by anyone dodgy thankfully. One of my sons works in cybersecurity so he's especially good at locking things down in every way. He's also not a Facebook user although he does have an account, that's something else we said a huge no to until they were well into their teens!!

I'd probably be more concerned about social media than gaming, providing the settings and friends lists on games etc are secure. 🙂

Butfirstcoffees · 17/04/2022 22:17

@PlantingTrees

beaker that’s what I worry about, the addictive nature of today’s games. Much more so than when I was a kid and played Sonic. I can’t quite explain what it is that I worry about so much about him getting into it. Maybe it’s to do with the difference between what I want him to experience as he grows up but how I feel society might pressure me into letting him get into gaming. And it’ll just be this big thing that I can’t control and will negatively affect his behaviour.

See I don't see the difference.

I remember getting the Sega megadrive for Christmas when they first came out.

Dbro (older) definitely got obsessive. Over games like sonic, the original football games, American football etc. Several of his friends were the same.

You didn't get addicted and it did cause problems for you and your household. But it did. No one tracked it, no one reported on it on the news no one really talk about it.

I know loads of men my ages (around 40) that have consistently gamed heavily their entire adult lives.

Ds games. I game with him. We play fortnight together quite a bit. Dd, 18, also games with friends across the world.

There are tons of things you will need to ensure your child does, in moderation.

Butfirstcoffees · 17/04/2022 22:18

I'd probably be more concerned about social media than gaming, providing the settings and friends lists on games etc are secure. 🙂

I feel exactly the same.

Flickflak · 17/04/2022 22:23

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Glassesmare · 17/04/2022 22:27

7 and 8 year old DS's get an hour or two at the weekend only. They enjoy it but prefer park, swimming, walks, bike rides, soft play and board games more. I think a little bit is ok and I'm going to stick to this arrangement for as long as possible!

ClaudiusTheGod · 17/04/2022 22:36

@pupcakes The days of playing out are long gone (thankfully, I'd be worried the whole time)

Playing out for your own children, or playing out generally?

edwinbear · 17/04/2022 22:39

DS (12) and DD (10) both do, too much for my liking and DS in particular can be really stroppy if I tell him he’s had enough for the day. However, it was the only way he could really connect with his friends in lockdown and it does seem to be a big part of how they socialise these days.

He also runs/swims/plays rugby for clubs and spends a lot of time training and competing so as long as he’s doing his homework and going to training, I sort of think if that’s how he wants to spend his down time, I should back off a bit.

Doona · 17/04/2022 22:43

My sons would play games all day long if I let them. I have to be really strict. They're total addicts. But, it's their culture. They don't watch TV, and their favourite youtubers are gamers. They also code. I can see it's interesting, it's social. Lockdown really hasn't helped with getting a balance.

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 17/04/2022 22:45

He does but he didn’t when he was 6

Dazedandconfused10 · 17/04/2022 22:45

34 and female but I'm a gamer, all my hobbies are anti social, running, reading, gaming, gaming is good for the mind and dexterity, it's not all bad, you just have to keep it in check. But I'm an antisocial gamer, I don't want to play online or co-op with others, I want single player rpgs.

I gamed as a child, me and my siblings, it was the only way we hung out for a long time.

Rupertgrintismyguiltypleasure · 17/04/2022 22:48

Yep, but mine is 14, has autism and doesn’t like things that are too crowded etc so we don’t take him out too often.

Aisling28 · 17/04/2022 22:48

I never bought any consoles for my kids and didn't want them gaming. I wanted them to play outdoors, read etc. My oldest kids don't game at all now. However my youngest aged 10 discovered roblox on the computer while doing online homework . I let him play a couple of times a week but find it very addictive. He's always trying to stay longer on it and is obsessed with it.
I would keep them off it as long as you can. I see kids spending hours each day on it and I think my older son aged 17 has been better off without it.

Rupertgrintismyguiltypleasure · 17/04/2022 22:49

I do indulge in a game or two... if I see one that takes my fancy but that’s not very often. I much rather watching tv series.

SunflowerSmith · 17/04/2022 22:59

It's not an either/or situation, I have two dd's aged 7 and 9 who both love playing Roblox but also love running around with their friends, doing crafts, playing board games etc. Today they've spent about 15 minutes on Roblox and the rest playing with water pistols, dolls and making a 'school classroom' den in the bushes, all their own choices.

I've never been strict with it nor the TV though, they've always been part of our lives and never used as a treat or reward so the kids don't see screens as anything special or more exciting than non screen activities.

We've got a couple of Nintendo Switches and have had great fun playing family games together, the 9 year old loves Animal Crossing too and has really enjoyed designing her island.
She also uses her tablet to make little videos, she creates characters, animates them, adds voices or text, intro's and credits etc, some of the ones she's shown me have been really impressive and (at the moment) wants to work in the animated film industry.

mehumumu · 17/04/2022 22:59

@AngelicaElizaAndPeggy ha ha how funny 😂 My Ds games, but there is a time restriction and so he knows how to do all those things yours does too.

I think gaming is addictive, but kids have phases when they get fixated on things not just games. My Ds also asks me to be in goal for hours on en to practice his football.

DS has a Nintendo switch and is 6. Quite a few in his class have them. Some with gaming parents have PS4's. We also have an x box, which DS plays Minecraft on, it is available on switch, but not online only buying the cartridge. I have parental apps for the switch and Xbox and have disabled friend requests and chat. I have gone in and seen chat on a game on switch but managed to sort it, there was some rude user names. But the chat I saw was all game related but I stopped it. He plays on our Tv in the lounge or handheld in kitchen.

I played Sonic as a kid and Ds plays sonic too. Lots of retro games on switch.

Blackmagicqueen · 17/04/2022 23:12

"I've never been strict with it nor the TV though, they've always been part of our lives and never used as a treat or reward so the kids don't see screens as anything special or more exciting than non screen activities."

Couldn't agree more @SunflowerSmith

ClaudiusTheGod · 17/04/2022 23:23

I know loads of men my ages (around 40) that have consistently gamed heavily their entire adult lives.

What do their partners think about this? Do they shout, swear and game late into the night while others in the household try to sleep? The trouble with many of the men I know who are avid gamers is that it has taken over their lives.

Alexakidd · 17/04/2022 23:33

I was gaming from about six or seven on hand me down sega consoles. I don't think the age people game at has changed that much. Perhaps the online connectivity means it's easier to feel left out.

Lndnmummy · 17/04/2022 23:47

Yea mine do (he is 10) and im really conflicted. In truth I detest it. It was his lifeline during lockdown though so there are positives. Also it feels like he is almost coming out on the other side now. There are no fortnite and roblox sessions anymore. He plays FIFA and NBL stuff now and I detest it less. I can almost live with it. I like the discussions and strategy that comes out of some of those games and he is very into his actual aporta too so I can see that online games compliments it. He would have been left out big time if he wasn't allowed to play as it appears to centre alot of their conversation. He doesn't have time in the week to play as he plays his own sports but weekend and school holidays I need to keep an eye as he 100% cant self regulate. Tbh i cant self regulate my MN use either so...

CharSiu · 18/04/2022 00:57

We are a family of gamers. I have gamed for 40 years and DS and I run a clan together for the MMO we play. I retired early after a career in higher education of 27 years. DH is still working and is a Professor in a science subject. DS achieved 3 grade A at A level and will be starting his degree apprenticeship soon.

The problem is that gamers are often seen as crap as many men seem to become obsessed and are most definitely shit at parenting and helping. I reckon they would have been crap regardless of gaming.

If a child games make sure parental controls are set up properly and no gaming in their bedroom.

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