The holidaymakers next door

[mindutopia]

Just a rant really, I know I’m not being at all unreasonable. We live in a very rural area that is somewhere people like to visit. It’s pretty and remote and lovely. The only house within about a mile or more is a holiday let. Owners are lovely and actually bought the property back that their grandparents used to own 60 years ago. We have no issues with them. We also have no issues with 95% of their guests. They are usually very quiet and respectful and all that.

We had a family arrive yesterday for the week, with a 5 & 10 year old (we have a 4 & 9 year old, so great we thought!). They came over to play yesterday afternoon, fine.

I woke up this morning to their 5 year old in our lounge (we have like 5 doors, it’s a big old farmhouse, we don’t lock them usually at night as literally no one bothers us down here). I returned him to his family.

They attempted to come over several times today but I sent them back as we were having an Easter egg hunt in the garden and also having lunch. They finally came over again in the afternoon (I was in the house tidying up after lunch). We live on a farm so I can’t really see much from the kitchen, or else if I’d seen them, I would have intervened.

The 5 year old got into our chicken pen, let all the chickens out, threw about £5 worth of food and grit everywhere, and then appeared in my lounge (I was tidying up toys) and chucked 4 eggs on the floor (thankfully didn’t break!). I’m over it.

I only discovered the chickens let out (for foxes to eat) and food thrown everywhere just now as I went to tidy up outside for the evening. I went to knock on holiday let’s door but was dark inside downstairs and I could hear kids in bathroom upstairs so they are obviously doing bath and bedtime now.

I’ll speak with them tomorrow, but I just needed to rant. We’ve had so many people traveling to our lovely part of the country the past couple years and it does provide income for many local people (not Dh and I, we work in careers totally unrelated to tourism). But these are the first CF we’ve had in a long time and it just irritates me. Every time I’ve returned their children to them, they’ve just been in the kitchen, drinking, and oblivious. We had a bonfire burning today. We have a river with deep fast flowing water. We also had our puppy out this afternoon, who is lovely but very big and jumpy, which is why we are careful to only have her off lead on our own farm. She definitely could have injured one on these kids in excitement if we hadn’t known they were wondering around our land. And also just the damage and expense to our livestock. I’ve had to clean out the duck and chicken houses because they filled them with pellets and they can choke without access to water. They’re here 5 more days! I will go have a word in the morning, but in the meantime, just arghhhh!

@mindutopia no idea where all the crazies and their door-locking obsessions have sprung from 😂 Of course random children shouldn’t be entering your home. And of course they are not your responsibility.

But I am absolutely hanging out for an update 🍿 and to see the lazy family get their comeuppance.

@Thoosa

You literally said;

I woke up this morning to their 5 year old in our lounge (we have like 5 doors, it’s a big old farmhouse, we don’t lock them usually at night as literally no one bothers us down here). I returned him to his family.

Stop with the contradictions and diversions.

What contradiction? There is none.

Why is OP getting a hard time on this thread?!

@cameocat
It's not a moot point at all because the last part of this 5 year old's escapade could have been prevented if OP's house had been locked up.
I've clearly written I think it's CF parenting and the OP has my sympathies several times on this thread 🤷‍♀️
When something goes wrong, a human reaction is to look at the situation from 360' and try to mitigate the risks of occurrence.
One thing that's within the OP's control is to lock her doors overnight.

Otherwise please don't complain if a stranger is sitting at your kitchen table in the morning.

Not all 4-year-olds are escape artists. I've had 4 children, only one would have wandered off.

@willieversleep

Reading the op had my heart in my mouth. Farms are extremely dangerous places for many reasons (I live on one and spend enormous amounts of time educating my children on being safe). Anything could happen to those children and no matter who's fault it would be devastating. The parents of the children would definitely need to buck up their ideas.

Absolutely right. Farms are massively dangerous. We knew that as kids. I visited one recently {With permission bought along my well mannered dog} but wouldn't even let her off the lead because of cattle, the Bull, TB testing, machinery that she isn't used to, &c. The thought of a 5 yr old with SEN wandering about and also meddling with stuff he shouldn't is just so desperately irresponsible.

@caecilius1 of course she can complain

Do you really think you can enter people’s homes if their doors are unlocked? Bizarre.

Jesus, so would the parents on here find it acceptable for their own 5 yo to wander off from an unfamiliar house and let themselves into a random neighbouring house if the door was open? No wonder social services are stretched these days.

It's not a moot point at all because the last part of this 5 year old's escapade could have been prevented if OP's house had been locked up.

All of it could have been prevented if the parents had done some actual parenting. Whether the house was locked is irrelevant. That said, what do you think the child would have done if it had been locked? Meekly gone home or trashed something in the farmyard like they'd already done?

The fault lies entirely with the parents of the 5 year old.

@tcjotm our front door has to be locked with a key. If locked from outside then you can't open from inside without a key.

@caecilius1 even if the farmhouse has been locked the child would still have been wandering round the farmyard which is more dangerous and was the cause of most trouble - letting the hens out .

Crime most definitely changes depending on where you are. Even when on the surface, areas are similar. I moved from a dodgy, deprived, mostly white working class area in one city to a very similar area in a different city. In city one, property crime was through the roof and I had two attempted burglaries and three car break ins over 6 years. In this city, nothing and the crimes that happen near me are mostly drugs or people battering each other. I actually looked up the crime stats and they are very different despite both areas being similarly rough.

@caecilius1

Otherwise please don't complain if a stranger is sitting at your kitchen table in the morning.

You're very keen on "victim blaming" aren't you? Do you apply your logic to any other incidents?

Soooo much townie ignorance straight up ignorance and projection on this thread. Some posters are just absolute nutters. Go and eat some chocolate eggs.

Imagine being the sort of weirdo who simultaneously freaks out at the irresponsibility of leaving a rural farm house unlocked whilst outside, but is totally relaxed at the idea of. 5 year old being unaccompanied 1/4 mile from home in vicinity of heavy machinery, large animals and open water

@M0RVEN

This thread has been an interesting insight into city life in the UK.

I live in the country and we never lock our doors. I have to look for the key when we go on holiday. We don’t lock the car either.

Fortunately we have no sheep or tractors, although I guess I should worry about the oil / kero.

However thanks to this thread I now know that I NEVER want to live in a city where you have to keep your doors lock at all times. It sounds terrifying. What happens when you go into the back garden , to hang out washing or sit and have a coffee ? Do burglars come and go into the back door when you back is turned ?

What about your children ? Are they safe to play on the garden without people abducting them ?

We live in London and in the summer our back door is open from 7am when I first let the dog out until late evening when it gets too cold. There's a lot of paranoia on this post. I can't imagine locking the back door because I need the loo.

Have you had a chat with them this morning or are you waiting for the owners to?

It's not a moot point at all because the last part of this 5 year old's escapade could have been prevented if OP's house had been locked up

Yes, as then the child would have just been running around outside, playing with the pond or farm machinery. That would have been so much better

I think the mistake you made was saying the were welcome to come and play at yours - in future I'd clearly state the caveats. You meant with parents and after checking it was ok with you first obviously - but unfortunately some people will see that as 'open house, feel free to send your kids round at any time'. The idea that a 5 year old with SEN is roaming around a farm unsupervised is extremely alarming - could you be in trouble if he got hurt on your property?? I'd be locking my doors and putting a lock on my gate, living by a holiday let means you never know who is around and I wouldn't take any chances either with break ins or getting sued.

Having the children over at first blured the lines. It suited you for their children to entertain yours until you yourself had things to do. It's clearer not to entertain them in the first place

Oh this is brilliant, top level trolling @Marchitectmummy

I've met plenty of 4 year olds @MRex. Can you show me where the OP has said any of this:

It makes a difference in that OP has her own 4yo who is able to similarly roam unsupervised because the doors aren't locked when parents are sleeping and therefore unavailable. Presumably both OP's kids have been able to roam in and out from about age 2.

[quote caecilius1]@cameocat
It's not a moot point at all because the last part of this 5 year old's escapade could have been prevented if OP's house had been locked up.
I've clearly written I think it's CF parenting and the OP has my sympathies several times on this thread 🤷‍♀️
When something goes wrong, a human reaction is to look at the situation from 360' and try to mitigate the risks of occurrence.
One thing that's within the OP's control is to lock her doors overnight. [/quote]
So @mindutopia has to changer HER behaviour to accommodate feckless parents and their children? Is that what you are ACTUALLY saying??

@caecilius1

I sympathise with you OP re the lack of boundaries with the holidaymakers' DC, however, I can't imagine ever leaving property unlocked either when I'm in or out of my house. I would never even leave the patio doors open/ unlocked even when just nipping to the loo. Its not a city thing, it's a security conscious thing; your insurance would be invalid for starters if the worst happened.

I live in a pretty average village nowhere near as rural as the OP

I've only just started keeping the door locked while I'm in, purely because there's been lots of development and therefore lots more people walking/driving about. Previously no one except a couple of neighbours and our visitors would have walked past.

So I completely understand that the OP knows her area and knows what is and isn't safe to do.

Oh, and I don't lock the patio doors and windows when I want to go to the loo either!

@Greyarea12

I dont think the person means you are to lock your family in when your outside in your garden & I think you know that. I think the point is that you must not lock your doors at night when you are all sleeping if you have found a child in your home at 8am in the morning - when you wrote that you stated it was because you don't lock your doors.

I agree, I think its irresponsible to not lock your doors at night when the whole house is asleep especially when you have children there. I really hope yous aren't burgled or worse at night one night. For all it takes to lock your doors & keep your family & your children safe.

I never lock my doors when I'm in the house, not even at night. My front door locks automatically when you close it, but the back one is unlocked unless I go out. And my old front door had to be locked with a key, and I left that unlocked all day and night, if I was in.

I would rather be burgled than be trapped if there was a fire.There have been 2 house fires in my road of 50-ish houses in the 29 years I've lived here, and the last burglary on the whole estate was in 1991, so I reckon fire is the greater risk.

There are some very entitled people on here.

Again, I can only assume that some of the posters who are very keen to place the blame at the OPs door are the sort of people who believe that they and their children have the right to do whatever they like because they are 'on holiday'.

If you live close to holiday lets, Air b nd b and the like you are expected to put up with all sorts of antisocial behaviour because you are lucky enough to live in an area nice enough for other people to want to visit it. The countryside is not a playground. Local people are not a tourist attraction or unpaid childminders or unpaid tour guides.

When I am on holiday in a holiday let I will not allow my small children to wander around unsupervised in other people's gardens or onto a working farm. I also would not use a jacuzzi in the garden at 1am or park across other people's drives or throw litter or leave my dog's mess for someone else to tread in. Just because you are on holiday it is not an excuse to leave good manners and common sense at home.