The holidaymakers next door

[mindutopia]

Just a rant really, I know I’m not being at all unreasonable. We live in a very rural area that is somewhere people like to visit. It’s pretty and remote and lovely. The only house within about a mile or more is a holiday let. Owners are lovely and actually bought the property back that their grandparents used to own 60 years ago. We have no issues with them. We also have no issues with 95% of their guests. They are usually very quiet and respectful and all that.

We had a family arrive yesterday for the week, with a 5 & 10 year old (we have a 4 & 9 year old, so great we thought!). They came over to play yesterday afternoon, fine.

I woke up this morning to their 5 year old in our lounge (we have like 5 doors, it’s a big old farmhouse, we don’t lock them usually at night as literally no one bothers us down here). I returned him to his family.

They attempted to come over several times today but I sent them back as we were having an Easter egg hunt in the garden and also having lunch. They finally came over again in the afternoon (I was in the house tidying up after lunch). We live on a farm so I can’t really see much from the kitchen, or else if I’d seen them, I would have intervened.

The 5 year old got into our chicken pen, let all the chickens out, threw about £5 worth of food and grit everywhere, and then appeared in my lounge (I was tidying up toys) and chucked 4 eggs on the floor (thankfully didn’t break!). I’m over it.

I only discovered the chickens let out (for foxes to eat) and food thrown everywhere just now as I went to tidy up outside for the evening. I went to knock on holiday let’s door but was dark inside downstairs and I could hear kids in bathroom upstairs so they are obviously doing bath and bedtime now.

I’ll speak with them tomorrow, but I just needed to rant. We’ve had so many people traveling to our lovely part of the country the past couple years and it does provide income for many local people (not Dh and I, we work in careers totally unrelated to tourism). But these are the first CF we’ve had in a long time and it just irritates me. Every time I’ve returned their children to them, they’ve just been in the kitchen, drinking, and oblivious. We had a bonfire burning today. We have a river with deep fast flowing water. We also had our puppy out this afternoon, who is lovely but very big and jumpy, which is why we are careful to only have her off lead on our own farm. She definitely could have injured one on these kids in excitement if we hadn’t known they were wondering around our land. And also just the damage and expense to our livestock. I’ve had to clean out the duck and chicken houses because they filled them with pellets and they can choke without access to water. They’re here 5 more days! I will go have a word in the morning, but in the meantime, just arghhhh!

@mindutopia

The parents have never come over, no. I spoke to them as they literally came down the drive yesterday (we share a drive, houses maybe 1/4 apart), and said lovely to meet you.

The dc appeared in our garden about an hour later and played for like 30 and I took them back over to their parents (drinking in the kitchen) , and said they had to go home as we were having dinner but would be happy to invite them back at some point this week. I haven’t seen the parents since, though I’ve returned their children 4 times today.

I don’t think having a playdate for an hour implies they can just send them over at 9am when they can’t be arsed to get out of bed! My dc have loads of play dates with dc who come to visit. The parents normally just talk to us or with a small child, accompany them.

Anyway, it appears that the dad (who has come down with his ex and current partner, and children) is an employee of the holiday let owners, who are furious, so hopefully CF will get read the riot act. Just a shame as my dc would love to play with them, but they clearly need to be supervised and someone who isn’t us, needs to do it.

Would you not supervise your own children?

I lock my front door as it goes out directly onto a main road and it would be faaar too easy to just lean in and nick the car keys or whatever if I didn't.

But I don't lock the back door and I certainly didn't lock the doors when I was IN THE HOUSE and living rurally.

You can hear a car coming from at least 1/2 a mile away, and you'd hear the door go.

Rural crime is nicking stuff from barns or stealing oil generally - not clearing out someone's TV.

I m bemused by some of the responses here - what is the fixation on the rights and wrongs of door locking, or inviting holydaymakers children to play in the garden for an hour?

OP you did nothing wrong. In fact I thought your invite was very lovely and would have made the holiday for my kids.

I can only assume that posters who are having a go at the OP, with not one word of criticism for the parents have either no ides of the dangers to unsupervised children on working farms, or who are the sort of parents who are quite happy to let their little ones to wander off because they want holiday time too.

I'm agog that people are googling crime figures in Devon to fact check what the OP is saying.
This thread is bloody bonkers, what is wrong with some people.

How did you get on this morning @mindutopia

I used to live in the middle of the country in Hampshire and we didn't lock our doors either, one night we had the back door open and a sheep came in the house, never a burglar though

@Synchrony

That sounds awful and so dangerous. I hope it gets sorted.

Fwiw, I live in a town and never lock the doors during the day unless the house is empty. I was always told that it was a fire hazard to lock them as it slows your escape! My parents don't either. I think it's weird and would be claustrophobia to be locked in my own house. Still, I know people who do this.

@Synchrony but unless you leave your doors open, you’d have to turn the handle to open the door, wouldn't you? I totally agree about not deadlocking yourself inside, that’s really dangerous. But all the places I’ve lived in if you shut an outside door then it was locked from the outside (a person would need a key to open it), but from the inside you just turned the lock to open, same as you would turn the handle on an inside door. So not dangerous in a fire but means no one could randomly test the door and enter. So I’m intrigued by those not locking the door in the day as in my experience if the door is shut it’s locked from the outside and you’d have to take an extra step for it not to be locked at all (and then it wouldnt latch and would open and close with the breeze unless you propped it open. We did that as kids when we were playing out but didn’t have keys. And with a strong breeze it would slam shut and we’d get yelled at).

We leave doors open here but there are usually screen doors with latches which would stop someone entering quietly, screen doors always seem noisy,

OP, I hope the chickens are ok! A random child in the lounge is weird enough but I’d be very upset about the poor chickens.

Some of the responses on this thread are totally batshit 😂😂

I don't fully lock up the house during the day if there's someone home and I live in South London.

OP, you are not unreasonable in the slightest. I can't believe people are trying to say it's your fault. The only people at fault are the parents who should be supervising their children.

FWIW,I think the holidaymakers next door are completely out of line too; that's CF crap parenting at it's finest.

The unlocked doors at night are freaking me out. Cannot get my head around it at all, are you not terrified you'll wake up to 2 masked men in your bedroom OP? Presumably on your farm, you've got shotguns locked in a cabinet somewhere? Are you not worried about those being used on you by intruders?

Can’t fathom the idea of not locking doors at night. Must be lovely to be so carefree. I have about 5 Banham locks and alarm set at night, cctv front and back.

in my experience if the door is shut it’s locked from the outside

Only if it has a Yale type lock. Not all doors do.

are you not terrified you'll wake up to 2 masked men in your bedroom OP?

She's very clearly said, several times, that she isn't.

Whether mixed messages on not, if someone had said to me that my children were welcome to play in their garden there is no way I would let my 4 year old wander alone over there. Especially in a new area and a farm which by its nature has extremely dangerous areas (livestock, slurry pit, machinery). Never-ending the damage my 4 year old might cause (leaving gates open, sheep in lambing etc). I would accompany them everywhere.

The fact this thread has been railroaded by locks is funny.

Ooof. I think it’s a “thing” that some holiday makers assume the countryside (inc farms) exists purely for recreation. We had a caravan holiday on a farm and the farmer would do an egg collecting and feed-the-pigs thing two afternoons a week. Just a sign up saying “meet at x to collect your own eggs and meet the pigs”. My DC were 11 and 12 but I still went with them - no other parents attended, just dropped off their DCs. The chap told me he’s going to change the sign to require parents because this happens regularly, often resulting in little darlings who’ve never seen a chicken just chasing them all over the fields.

@PuppyMonkey

You don’t lock your doors, but you’ve installed CCTV?

And lots of naps on a working farm. 🤣

It's not been railroaded by locks at all; don't be silly.
It would have clearly prevented the child coming inside the house. I work with a farmer, they're very security conscious, for all the reasons you mention plus they are responsible shotgun owners.

Yes but the locking if the door is a mute point. The child still walked 1/4 of a mile, crawled into the hen house and stole eggs and then wandered into a strangers house. You think that's acceptable parenting and the OP's fault somehow?

@Fairislefandango

You've had some ridiculous responses, OP. Since when does inviting someone (whatever their age) round for an hour mean they're welcome to turn up and let themselves into your house whenever they fancy? And why does whether the OP's doors are locked make any difference to the fact that these negligent parents should not be letting their 5yo wander about on someone else's farm (or indeed anywhere) unsupervised?!

It makes a difference in that OP has her own 4yo who is able to similarly roam unsupervised because the doors aren't locked when parents are sleeping and therefore unavailable. Presumably both OP's kids have been able to roam in and out from about age 2. But hey, only the holidaymakers are bad for letting a 5yo be unsupervised, it's fine for the 4yo. For some reason.

Do burglars come and go into the back door when you back is turned ?

I live in London now but I used to live in an area in another city where house burglaries were off the scale. We couldn't leave any ground floor room empty without someone trying the front door or the window. At night we took keys purses phones up to bed with us - literally in our beds with us.

Now in London terrace I lock front door but might easily leave my back door open/unlocked when I nip to the shops as I can't see how a burglar could climb unnoticed over 6 tiny gardens with 8ft fences in daylight.

Obviously a good lock can deter the casual opportunist thief don't think masked gunmen would go "Oh dear, they have a mortice lock. Shall we not bother then?"

Where has the OP said that @MRex?

But hey, only the holidaymakers are bad for letting a 5yo be unsupervised, it's fine for the 4yo. For some reason.

What the af? I can't believe your whole post.

Yes, obviously 4 and 2 year olds need to be locked in a cell at night

If that 5 year old fell into the water it would be your responsibility as it's on your land, when it really isn't your responsibility.

Some facts ...

All property owners have a duty of care to anybody including trespassers on their land. Homeowners have been found liable when burglars injure themselves.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupiers%27_Liability_Act_1984

[quote mindutopia]@Bunnybingesoneggs It’s very obviously private land. They have to come through a gate, past our house, through our garden to access the farm. However, I’m pretty sure the 5 year old I found in my lounge at 8am this morning can’t read. 😂 I would assume his parents should be awake and supervising him. [/quote]
I'd be buying a padlock for that gate asap! Although I daresay the undisciplined little fuckers would just climb over it.

They sound utterly irresponsible OP. And I think it's very sad that people have so little idea that farmland is a working environment, and that it can be dangerous.

Maybe they should bring back those public information films they used to have on tv, about following the country code.

I'd certainly be giving the parents the stern word about not letting their children onto your land.

@Clymene

Where has the OP said that *@MRex*?

1) The doors aren't locked - stated by OP 2) They have a 4yo - stated by OP.

Have you met a 4yo? They get everywhere and do everything, and they start early in the morning. I just find it rather baffling that OP is fully aware of the risks of the river, tractors on the road, etc for a holidaymaker's kid - yet not bothered that her own child could decide any given morning to walk out into the same dangers.