The holidaymakers next door

[mindutopia]

Just a rant really, I know I’m not being at all unreasonable. We live in a very rural area that is somewhere people like to visit. It’s pretty and remote and lovely. The only house within about a mile or more is a holiday let. Owners are lovely and actually bought the property back that their grandparents used to own 60 years ago. We have no issues with them. We also have no issues with 95% of their guests. They are usually very quiet and respectful and all that.

We had a family arrive yesterday for the week, with a 5 & 10 year old (we have a 4 & 9 year old, so great we thought!). They came over to play yesterday afternoon, fine.

I woke up this morning to their 5 year old in our lounge (we have like 5 doors, it’s a big old farmhouse, we don’t lock them usually at night as literally no one bothers us down here). I returned him to his family.

They attempted to come over several times today but I sent them back as we were having an Easter egg hunt in the garden and also having lunch. They finally came over again in the afternoon (I was in the house tidying up after lunch). We live on a farm so I can’t really see much from the kitchen, or else if I’d seen them, I would have intervened.

The 5 year old got into our chicken pen, let all the chickens out, threw about £5 worth of food and grit everywhere, and then appeared in my lounge (I was tidying up toys) and chucked 4 eggs on the floor (thankfully didn’t break!). I’m over it.

I only discovered the chickens let out (for foxes to eat) and food thrown everywhere just now as I went to tidy up outside for the evening. I went to knock on holiday let’s door but was dark inside downstairs and I could hear kids in bathroom upstairs so they are obviously doing bath and bedtime now.

I’ll speak with them tomorrow, but I just needed to rant. We’ve had so many people traveling to our lovely part of the country the past couple years and it does provide income for many local people (not Dh and I, we work in careers totally unrelated to tourism). But these are the first CF we’ve had in a long time and it just irritates me. Every time I’ve returned their children to them, they’ve just been in the kitchen, drinking, and oblivious. We had a bonfire burning today. We have a river with deep fast flowing water. We also had our puppy out this afternoon, who is lovely but very big and jumpy, which is why we are careful to only have her off lead on our own farm. She definitely could have injured one on these kids in excitement if we hadn’t known they were wondering around our land. And also just the damage and expense to our livestock. I’ve had to clean out the duck and chicken houses because they filled them with pellets and they can choke without access to water. They’re here 5 more days! I will go have a word in the morning, but in the meantime, just arghhhh!

@Clymene

I've met plenty of 4 year olds *@MRex*. Can you show me where the OP has said any of this:

It makes a difference in that OP has her own 4yo who is able to similarly roam unsupervised because the doors aren't locked when parents are sleeping and therefore unavailable. Presumably both OP's kids have been able to roam in and out from about age 2.

You could just try reading what I wrote, it's perfectly clear. Perhaps you're being deliberately obtuse.

[quote Nishkin]@mindutopia a quick Google of ‘house burglaries in Devon’ brought up quite a few to be honest[/quote]
In the middle of nowhere or in one of the actual towns in Devon?

@Nanny0gg

Oh, and I don't lock the patio doors and windows when I want to go to the loo either!

Then you may as well have a sign in your window saying "Just nipped to the loo - everyone please help yourself to anything in the house" according to some nutters people in this thread

You are an irresponsible house owner @Nanny0gg and deserve to have hordes of children pitch up in your lounge watching your TV doncha know

My goodness I know I can rabbit on but this thread is something else. The only issue here is that the parents should not be allowing their little children to wander round farmland unsupervised. They are the ones at fault.
I can’t believe that I would be the only parent keeping a close eye on my kids in this situation and telling them that although they had been over to play once this didn’t mean they could go again without being invited.If nothing else I would be worried that they were being nuisance.

@MadameFantabulosa

It’s like when the DDs were little and they had a friend with a pool. We were invited over to swim one afternoon. When we left, we thanked the Mum and she said “Not at all, pop over anytime.” I saw this as good manners, and that we could come over when invited and convenient for them. Not that we should just come round randomly whenever we fancied, and jump in the pool. Same for the OP - come and play in the garden when we invite you to do so, not whenever you cba to parent your child.

You're in the minority there, as we've seen on other threads

I've read everything you've written @MRex. You've just made up a load of shit

@SoupDragon

in my experience if the door is shut it’s locked from the outside

Only if it has a Yale type lock. Not all doors do.

True.

Mine isn't. And we deliberately chose that door with that type of lock. Can't be arsed taking a key every time we need to get in the garage

No one reasonable thinks it's fine for this 5 year old to play outside unchaperoned in a farmyard versus being indoors uninvited/ unchaperoned in a stranger's house. It's not an either or situation.
Other posters have written they think you should have locks on your farm gates going forward. I'd imagine that's completely impractical. It's not impractical to lock your house doors overnight. There's a lot of posters on this thread who don't seem to have an ounce of common sense.

Obviously the parents should be parenting properly, they're completely and utterly irresponsible but you can't control their lack of parenting.

MN is bonkers today!
Of course having them over once doesn’t imply free run.
I’m a townie and no farms are fucking dangerous for kids and if this was the equivalent in a town it would be a police or SS possible referral for unsupervised children found wondering in the local road or park

@Bananarama21 potentially op would be legaly liable, even for trespassers on her property if someone was injured

@caecilius1

It's not been railroaded by locks at all; don't be silly. It would have clearly prevented the child coming inside the house. I work with a farmer, they're very security conscious, for all the reasons you mention plus they are responsible shotgun owners.

Which should be in a locked gun safe

Not rtft and maybe missing the point but who the eff invites air bnb-er's round to their house? That's bonkers.

The family sound like CF's with no manners but I can't get over why someone would invite holiday-makers round to their permanent home?

Keep your distance in future OP - your eagerness to be friendly has backfired it seems. And yes, just lock your doors.

@TheArtfulBlogger

I'll have CBeebies at the ready!!

Some people who live in towns mistake 'the countryside' for one giant theme park and have no idea at all of the many dangers that are out there (my mother's mantra "watch out for ponds, when they're green they look like grass", recalling a terrible incident from her own childhood). Maybe the house owners could add in a warning to the instructions they leave for visitors? Good luck, ignorance, rather than malice, I expect.

There's a lot of posters on this thread who don't seem to have an ounce of common sense.

Yes. Mostly those that think a house must always be locked up at night and are blaming the OP for not doing so.

YANB at all U, OP. There are some truly odd people on this thread. The only people to blame are the holiday parents.

The OP’s security is irrelevant, but FWIW, I live in London and we only lock our doors if we go out.

Is ...why dont you lock your doors, the new cancel the cheque ?

Locking the doors wouldn’t help.
The kid would then be roaming the farm on their own instead.
Not sure that’s better.

Anyway! @mindutopia what arseholes. Very different but when mine were little and we were out somewhere (soft play, beach, playground) we would end up with other kids following us and ours as we were playing with ours not ignoring them. It got bloody annoying and our kids hated it! Especially when constructing a sandcastle town that had been weeks of planning.
Five minutes fine, not all day. It’s like they are doing you the favour as their child is so glorious you get to bask in their glory.

We’ve even had it out for dinner. Parents sitting their enjoying their child free meal and we are left entertaining their toddler.

Bloody annoying. Anyway, at least they shouldn’t get an invite back!!

I never locked my doors when I lived on a farm, there was no point. The problem is people think farms and the countryside are theme parks for their amusement, not working environments. Farming is the second most dangerous job in the UK (behind farming), people wouldn’t let their children run round an active building site unaccompanied but for some reason they don’t see the problem with farms.

@mindutopia

Have you seen or heard from the trespassers holidaymakers today?

YANBU.

I would call b the parents and say a working farm is not a safe place for children to access unsupervised. For the kids, or for your poultry.

People are thick / don’t realise.

OP, you have done absolutely nothing wrong. Anyone with half a brain should know that a farmyard can be a dangerous place, even if they don't know of all the exact dangers, it's hardly a playroom for children.

Anyone who respects other people's property should know that you do not trespass.

Any decent parent should know that children should not be left to roam unsupervised in the countryside. This child damaged your property.

You have done nothing wrong, and good on you for reporting them to the home owner. Maybe the home owners need to add something in the house notes for visitors stating that the farm next door is private property.

As for the door locking, we are rural Devon, my parents are farmers, and doors are rarely locked unless maybe they are away from the premises all day like at a wedding or something. It is very rare for a farmhouse to be burgled as all they are usually after is the diesel and small tools that they can carry away easily and sell easily. The dogs wouldn't let anyone into the house anyway.

My parents can't lock their gates at each end of the lane as it is also a public bridlepath so they can't stop other people going through it. They only have permission to stay on the track though, not go into the farmyards or barns or fields.

One entitled idiot actually shut a field gate on my dad the other day when he was working in there in a tractor, as he wanted his dog to run up and down the lane without going in the field. My dad had to tell him that he is not allowed to touch field gates and that it is a working farm not a dog walking path....

Debating the merits of a lock on the gate is irrelevant given OP said the CF child climbed over.

we would end up with other kids following us and ours as we were playing with ours not ignoring them.

Always, and my kids hated it as well.

Have you met a 4yo? They get everywhere and do everything, and they start early in the morning. I just find it rather baffling that OP is fully aware of the risks of the river, tractors on the road, etc for a holidaymaker's kid - yet not bothered that her own child could decide any given morning to walk out into the same dangers.

@MRex the reason for that is VERY simple.
A child that is been raised in a farm has a knowledge of what is or is t ok to do that a cory child doesn’t have.
At 4~5yo, my dh was already ‘helping’ (as in properly helping, not fooling around) at his parents farm.
Our dcs spent quite a bit of time there and knew to be careful of the tractor, not to feed the hens etc… BUT they were never given the same free reign as DH had because they didn’t have the same experience. But they still were given more ‘freedom’ around the farm than you would leave a random child.