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The holidaymakers next door

532 replies

mindutopia · 17/04/2022 19:55

Just a rant really, I know I’m not being at all unreasonable. We live in a very rural area that is somewhere people like to visit. It’s pretty and remote and lovely. The only house within about a mile or more is a holiday let. Owners are lovely and actually bought the property back that their grandparents used to own 60 years ago. We have no issues with them. We also have no issues with 95% of their guests. They are usually very quiet and respectful and all that.

We had a family arrive yesterday for the week, with a 5 & 10 year old (we have a 4 & 9 year old, so great we thought!). They came over to play yesterday afternoon, fine.

I woke up this morning to their 5 year old in our lounge (we have like 5 doors, it’s a big old farmhouse, we don’t lock them usually at night as literally no one bothers us down here). I returned him to his family. Hmm

They attempted to come over several times today but I sent them back as we were having an Easter egg hunt in the garden and also having lunch. They finally came over again in the afternoon (I was in the house tidying up after lunch). We live on a farm so I can’t really see much from the kitchen, or else if I’d seen them, I would have intervened.

The 5 year old got into our chicken pen, let all the chickens out, threw about £5 worth of food and grit everywhere, and then appeared in my lounge (I was tidying up toys) and chucked 4 eggs on the floor (thankfully didn’t break!). I’m over it. Hmm

I only discovered the chickens let out (for foxes to eat) and food thrown everywhere just now as I went to tidy up outside for the evening. I went to knock on holiday let’s door but was dark inside downstairs and I could hear kids in bathroom upstairs so they are obviously doing bath and bedtime now.

I’ll speak with them tomorrow, but I just needed to rant. We’ve had so many people traveling to our lovely part of the country the past couple years and it does provide income for many local people (not Dh and I, we work in careers totally unrelated to tourism). But these are the first CF we’ve had in a long time and it just irritates me. Every time I’ve returned their children to them, they’ve just been in the kitchen, drinking, and oblivious. We had a bonfire burning today. We have a river with deep fast flowing water. We also had our puppy out this afternoon, who is lovely but very big and jumpy, which is why we are careful to only have her off lead on our own farm. She definitely could have injured one on these kids in excitement if we hadn’t known they were wondering around our land. And also just the damage and expense to our livestock. I’ve had to clean out the duck and chicken houses because they filled them with pellets and they can choke without access to water. They’re here 5 more days! I will go have a word in the morning, but in the meantime, just arghhhh!

OP posts:
CharityShopChic · 18/04/2022 09:06

@Fadeout83

This thread Grin

OP you are completely not unreasonable to leave your house unlocked. I never lock mine and we live in a town, not in a farm. No one locks houses here. Its hilarious how some people are unable to comprehend anything that swerves away from their normal.

While I think there may have been mixed messages re sending kids to play in the garden, no way would I let my four/five year old just wander onto someone’s farm unsupervised. Loopy.

Agree with all of this.

I live on the outskirts of a large city and people lock their doors at night when they go to bed. Not during the day if they are in. I know lots of people who live very rurally who only ever lock up if they are going away for the day or longer.

Also agree that you have to be on a different planet entirely to interpret "oh you have kids a similar age to mine, let's get them to play for an hour" as "feel free to let your children run free on my farm and into my house".

Why are there so many people determined to turn this around and make it into the OP's fault somehow. The people at fault here are the parents.

Clymene · 18/04/2022 09:07

@inappropriateraspberry

I don't think you were clear when saying they could come over again and they have misunderstood, thinking the children are welcome to come over whenever. I find it odd that you invited them over in The first place, really. Especially as you say it can be dangerous on the farm.
Do you send you 5 year old to play on their own with people you don't know?

Come on, that isn't normal behaviour. Stop making out like it is

essiemcal · 18/04/2022 09:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn - posted on wrong thread

Herejustforthisone · 18/04/2022 09:08

@PuppyMonkey

I know she has explained - but she also says there is never any crime in rural Devon *@PuppyPowerTool* Grin
She said there was hardly any violent crime. She did say outbuildings, equipment, machinery etc was what was more vulnerable to rural crime. Same here. My house is always unlocked but my tractor sheds and stable yard are Fort Knoxed.
hellcatspangle · 18/04/2022 09:10

@essiemcal

DH is 57 and has never learned to drive (has previously had a few lessons but is very unconfident) which means I do all of he driving, UK holiday driving etc. I go through periods of not minding etc but occasionally it really bothers me and is a cause of rows. Is it worth insisting now? I can see the advantages of him driving once we’re older - we’d like to retire in the country etc. but on the downside there is the colossal insurance involved. Interested in thoughts others may have …
Think you need your own thread
BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 18/04/2022 09:11

@essiemcal

Start your own thread.

Herejustforthisone · 18/04/2022 09:12

[quote Nishkin]@mindutopia a quick Google of ‘house burglaries in Devon’ brought up quite a few to be honest[/quote]
😂😂😂 what is happening in this thread? Devon isn’t entirely rolling hills and Mike-apart houses. There is some urban areas. Chances are, burglaries are more common there. Honestly, this thread is hilarious. Townie posters are determined to find you at fault
@mindutopia

MadameFantabulosa · 18/04/2022 09:15

It’s like when the DDs were little and they had a friend with a pool. We were invited over to swim one afternoon. When we left, we thanked the Mum and she said “Not at all, pop over anytime.” I saw this as good manners, and that we could come over when invited and convenient for them. Not that we should just come round randomly whenever we fancied, and jump in the pool. Same for the OP - come and play in the garden when we invite you to do so, not whenever you cba to parent your child.

marvellousmaple · 18/04/2022 09:19

Poor OP.
It's the no good deed goes unpunished. In future, if the people renting the place next door have similar aged kids maybe suggest they meet at their place for an hour or so. They aren't going to be life long friends whatever happens.
I live semi-rurally ( not UK) and never lock my doors when I am home unless I am alone and having a shower as I'm worried someone might walk in on me!. ( hugely unlikely but that's just me)
I also have a large breed dog and he is much more reliable than a lock - instantly knows friend from foe.

Gardenfish · 18/04/2022 09:19

Not sure how people have got so fixated on not locking doors.

But not the family who don’t seem to understand you don't feed live stock or any other persons animals for that matter.

MaggieFS · 18/04/2022 09:22

Of course YANBU. I can't believe people are getting hung up on the door locking.

The issue is the complete lack of parental responsibility. It is completely unacceptable that OP has had to remove the child from her property FOUR TIMES, made even worse by the fact that a farm is a dangerous place.

BakedTattie · 18/04/2022 09:23

I’m just impressed you were all still in bed asleep at that time. My livestock would be going mental wanting fed!

FollowTheLizards · 18/04/2022 09:23

Holidaymakers should be the ones locking their doors if they have an escape artist! YANBU OP, it's weird that they're happy to let their kids wander off unsupervised. Dangers of the farm aside, they sound thick to think it's acceptable to leave their kid in the care of complete strangers. I wonder if they just let their kids wander off to random people's houses when they're at home.

Abraxan · 18/04/2022 09:24

@PuppyMonkey

You don’t lock your doors, but you’ve installed CCTV?Grin
It's a farm with expensive equipment The cctv is almost certainly to cover that, not a chancer trying to go into the farm house.

I have never lived rural in the country and have always lived in houses where we lock the doors at all times.

However, I can certainly understand that people live differently and that rural farm houses and land usually live in very different ways to those who live in towns and cities,

The OP's way of living re unlocked doors but protecting expensive and dangerous equipment outside is very normal in rural areas from what I know.

TheBolterdahling · 18/04/2022 09:24

I think you saying happy for them to come over to play in the garden and t saying anything when you returned the first time about not coming without a parent has les to mixed messages and so you are being unfair

Sally872 · 18/04/2022 09:25

Glad the owner sounds annoyed hopefully that will be it sorted. Totally unacceptable for 5 year old to leave house without parents being aware you would expect them to have got a fright the first time and taken steps to keep child safe.

LannieDuck · 18/04/2022 09:25

It sounds like the owners are going to sort it, but if that fails you could demand payment for the spoilt seed (and any future chickens that get eaten by foxes). I'm thinking they might keep a closer eye on DC if it starts to cost them.

godmum56 · 18/04/2022 09:27

@essiemcal

DH is 57 and has never learned to drive (has previously had a few lessons but is very unconfident) which means I do all of he driving, UK holiday driving etc. I go through periods of not minding etc but occasionally it really bothers me and is a cause of rows. Is it worth insisting now? I can see the advantages of him driving once we’re older - we’d like to retire in the country etc. but on the downside there is the colossal insurance involved. Interested in thoughts others may have …
wrong thread?
Vimto1991 · 18/04/2022 09:27

God no you’re not being unreasonable, why are they letting their children frolick about on a working farm unsupervised whilst having a drink? Seems a bit odd, I wouldn’t say hanging out with your DC is an open invitation so no idea why they thought that means children can come and go as you please.

On an another note, I live in a small town and the house is always locked regardless of if we are in or not. Yes it’s normal, thieves have become very cocky and dangerous and have been known to let themselves in during the day to steal stuff, and if you’re in can be held at knifepoint, not worth it, and as someone said, will void insurance, too. Just wanted to clarify as a townie to a farmer. 😅

TheHoleNineYards · 18/04/2022 09:28

I’m totally baffled about why the OP is getting told off about her security. Surely she understands the context of her set up and what is - or isn’t - safe better than we do?

I live semi-rurally. I always lock up at night, but never during the day. No one I know does either. The postie will check the door and put your parcel in your hallway if you don’t answer her knock; friends will pop round, open your door and shout ‘helloooooo’ rather than knocking; neighbours will pop over and take apples from the tree and leave a cake on the dining table in return… This is all normal in some parts of the country.

Hawkins001 · 18/04/2022 09:30

All the best op.

M0RVEN · 18/04/2022 09:32

This thread has been an interesting insight into city life in the UK.

I live in the country and we never lock our doors. I have to look for the key when we go on holiday. We don’t lock the car either.

Fortunately we have no sheep or tractors, although I guess I should worry about the oil / kero.

However thanks to this thread I now know that I NEVER want to live in a city where you have to keep your doors lock at all times. It sounds terrifying. What happens when you go into the back garden , to hang out washing or sit and have a coffee ? Do burglars come and go into the back door when you back is turned ?

What about your children ? Are they safe to play on the garden without people abducting them ?

MadeForThis · 18/04/2022 09:32

I hope they have the manners to apologise, even if it is through the owner.

caecilius1 · 18/04/2022 09:34

Re the irrelevance of locking up to this situation; wouldn't have prevented the child getting into the farmyard and causing damage but it would have prevented him accessing the interior of the OP's house.
Speaking as a twin/city dweller, it's not really burglary I worry about, it's violent crime. It's everywhere and you'd be daft to think otherwise.

AllOverIt · 18/04/2022 09:35

This thread is bonkers.

I don't think it unusual to not lock the door when you're in the house.

Just hanging around to find out what happened after the owners got involved.... Also for any photos of large puppy...