The holidaymakers next door

[mindutopia]

Just a rant really, I know I’m not being at all unreasonable. We live in a very rural area that is somewhere people like to visit. It’s pretty and remote and lovely. The only house within about a mile or more is a holiday let. Owners are lovely and actually bought the property back that their grandparents used to own 60 years ago. We have no issues with them. We also have no issues with 95% of their guests. They are usually very quiet and respectful and all that.

We had a family arrive yesterday for the week, with a 5 & 10 year old (we have a 4 & 9 year old, so great we thought!). They came over to play yesterday afternoon, fine.

I woke up this morning to their 5 year old in our lounge (we have like 5 doors, it’s a big old farmhouse, we don’t lock them usually at night as literally no one bothers us down here). I returned him to his family.

They attempted to come over several times today but I sent them back as we were having an Easter egg hunt in the garden and also having lunch. They finally came over again in the afternoon (I was in the house tidying up after lunch). We live on a farm so I can’t really see much from the kitchen, or else if I’d seen them, I would have intervened.

The 5 year old got into our chicken pen, let all the chickens out, threw about £5 worth of food and grit everywhere, and then appeared in my lounge (I was tidying up toys) and chucked 4 eggs on the floor (thankfully didn’t break!). I’m over it.

I only discovered the chickens let out (for foxes to eat) and food thrown everywhere just now as I went to tidy up outside for the evening. I went to knock on holiday let’s door but was dark inside downstairs and I could hear kids in bathroom upstairs so they are obviously doing bath and bedtime now.

I’ll speak with them tomorrow, but I just needed to rant. We’ve had so many people traveling to our lovely part of the country the past couple years and it does provide income for many local people (not Dh and I, we work in careers totally unrelated to tourism). But these are the first CF we’ve had in a long time and it just irritates me. Every time I’ve returned their children to them, they’ve just been in the kitchen, drinking, and oblivious. We had a bonfire burning today. We have a river with deep fast flowing water. We also had our puppy out this afternoon, who is lovely but very big and jumpy, which is why we are careful to only have her off lead on our own farm. She definitely could have injured one on these kids in excitement if we hadn’t known they were wondering around our land. And also just the damage and expense to our livestock. I’ve had to clean out the duck and chicken houses because they filled them with pellets and they can choke without access to water. They’re here 5 more days! I will go have a word in the morning, but in the meantime, just arghhhh!

People lock their patio doors while they go to the toilet? Good grief.

@Marchitectmummy

Having the children over at first blured the lines. It suited you for their children to entertain yours until you yourself had things to do. It's clearer not to entertain them in the first place.

Oh dear God

@mindutopia a quick Google of ‘house burglaries in Devon’ brought up quite a few to be honest

Is this a new thing people from holiday let’s trespassing or isn’t it?!

Years ago as kids we stayed in a farm on holidays and once were let out for a run around. We knew what to do and not to do and were generally very good. But came across an open grain store and perfect for playing in! We got told off when we were caught but had no idea it was out of bounds! I was about 7.

Anyway I think OP needs more signs and boundaries on her property and speak to air b n b owners. I personally think if you invite kids into your garden it risks becoming a free for all.

This is the holy grail of MN irrelevant responses. The very idea that some people live differently to others!

Are all the people saying that the initial invitation blurred the lines also the people who would be letting their children invade people’s gardens throughout their holidays? Or are they the people who get furious and hide if anyone knocks on their doors without booking a slot 28 days in advance in writing? Enquiring minds need to know

@BeforeGodAndAllTheFish

What are the implications of your chickens having been out? Birds are still under lockdown orders and must be kept indoors and secure. What happens now that they've been let out? Will they be ok?

Are they really?

You've had some ridiculous responses, OP. Since when does inviting someone (whatever their age) round for an hour mean they're welcome to turn up and let themselves into your house whenever they fancy? And why does whether the OP's doors are locked make any difference to the fact that these negligent parents should not be letting their 5yo wander about on someone else's farm (or indeed anywhere) unsupervised?!

This thread

OP you are completely not unreasonable to leave your house unlocked. I never lock mine and we live in a town, not in a farm. No one locks houses here. Its hilarious how some people are unable to comprehend anything that swerves away from their normal.

While I think there may have been mixed messages re sending kids to play in the garden, no way would I let my four/five year old just wander onto someone’s farm unsupervised. Loopy.

Just reread OP’s posts. The parents shouldn’t be sending their kids off to play unsupervised and should be giving them instructions where they can and can’t go.

I’ve holidayed all my life as a child in holiday lets or friends cottages etc and we wouldn’t dream of trespassing into others gardens, houses etc. In fact it irritates me when people cite SEN as I’ve got friends with non NT children and there’s no way their kids do would behave like this! The parents are being lazy, gentle parenting or whatever and not setting boundaries.

Then again from MN it seems as though lots of parents find it hard to say no or discipline their children and then wonder why more establishments are banning children (due to parents not parenting them, not kids being kids).

Oh my goodness I’d have hit the roof with the parents, you’ve been more restrained so far than I would’ve been. That is annoying but also it’s so, so dangerous. Farms are not safe places and they’re certainly not fucking playgrounds for wayward children. My son is only five months but he will have farm safety drilled into him as soon as he can understand me 😂

Fwiw it sounds like we have similar lives. Devon, v rural, on a farm. Our doors are v rarely locked, what’s the point? If someone made their way into the yard, down the long lane, they’d be here to rob what they could from the business (also on site!) re machinery etc. That has security lights, CCTV, electronic gates, all that. Should they go for the house (fools!) they’d have to get past our two v loud, v big NZ huntaways, so if that doesn’t put them off, I don’t think a locked door would. It’s just a v different life to that which many lead.

Suggest to the owners they put info in their holiday to the effect of next door is private property, do not let children wander unsupervised, farm dangers.
Adults seem to have holiday head, nothing bad can happen because we are on holiday. They don’t realise the dangers on rural properties —- tools, possibly poisons for vermin/crops, ditches, slurry pits. Dread to think of the aftermath if the child had come to harm wandering in yoyr property.

I’ve lived in a holiday area for years and see so many examples of holiday head.

I live in London and our back door was unlocked all day as we were pottering around in different parts of the house

Did the foxes actually eat the chickens or were you able to rescue them?

The parents need to tell their kids to not go on your land. They are cheeky fuckers, who have decided you and your farm can entertain the children while they chill.

@NashvilleQueen

This is the holy grail of MN irrelevant responses. The very idea that some people live differently to others!

Couldn’t agree more! I always wonder if people are being deliberately trolly as bored or just so determined to hammer their irrelevant point across and don’t forget to add the emoji to really show how unbelievably baffling it is… Time for a mumsnet break!

I don't think you were clear when saying they could come over again and they have misunderstood, thinking the children are welcome to come over whenever.
I find it odd that you invited them over in The first place, really. Especially as you say it can be dangerous on the farm.

What a bizarre range of responses you've had OP. I'd have been far less patient than you- especially at the egg situation. Hope it gets resolved quickly.

Hilarious derailment! I’m with you OP and think parents massively irresponsible and rude. It’s not acceptable to let your child roam around without supervision and you are right to be annoyed, especially about the poor hens. Just as an aside we live rurally and never lock our doors. 😂

For those that still haven't got it yet. Breaking and entering 1 was in the morning when OP was out walking the dog and the rest of the family was in the house. I would suggest locking the door behind her in this scenario would be a fire risk for the family.

Breaking and entering 2 was in the day when the others were out and she was having a nap. So she woke up to find him throwing eggs but this wasn't waking up from a night's sleep. She was having a day time nap. The family going out and locking her in from the outside could be similarly dangerous.

I lock my door at night and in the day but I live alone and I'm always inside with the key to hand.

We don’t lock our doors in the day either but always at night.We also live in the SW.Long May it last.

OP, it’s none of my business if you lock your doors at night or if your insurance is invalidated - as a townie I don’t claim to understand how rural life is, but I do agree with you that parents should parent their children, even when they’re on holiday, and they should not allow a 5 yr old to wander unsupervised onto a working farm!

You are completely right to speak to the let owners and the holidaymakers, if only to protect the child from harm which is where I see you are coming from. The damage to your hen house is unacceptable; no justification possible there.

A play date is exactly that; a short supervised visit, not carte blanche to have to babysit someone else’s children whenever they see fit. Your life, your farm, your rules.

That sounds awful and so dangerous. I hope it gets sorted.

Fwiw, I live in a town and never lock the doors during the day unless the house is empty. I was always told that it was a fire hazard to lock them as it slows your escape! My parents don't either. I think it's weird and would be claustrophobia to be locked in my own house. Still, I know people who do this.

It does sound dangerous,

A lot of Mumsnet likes victim blaming. It's the equivalent to 'You said '"Good Morning" to the guy who greeted you, so you encouraged him. If you hadn't said '"Good Morning'" then he would not have subsequently raped you.