The holidaymakers next door

[mindutopia]

Just a rant really, I know I’m not being at all unreasonable. We live in a very rural area that is somewhere people like to visit. It’s pretty and remote and lovely. The only house within about a mile or more is a holiday let. Owners are lovely and actually bought the property back that their grandparents used to own 60 years ago. We have no issues with them. We also have no issues with 95% of their guests. They are usually very quiet and respectful and all that.

We had a family arrive yesterday for the week, with a 5 & 10 year old (we have a 4 & 9 year old, so great we thought!). They came over to play yesterday afternoon, fine.

I woke up this morning to their 5 year old in our lounge (we have like 5 doors, it’s a big old farmhouse, we don’t lock them usually at night as literally no one bothers us down here). I returned him to his family.

They attempted to come over several times today but I sent them back as we were having an Easter egg hunt in the garden and also having lunch. They finally came over again in the afternoon (I was in the house tidying up after lunch). We live on a farm so I can’t really see much from the kitchen, or else if I’d seen them, I would have intervened.

The 5 year old got into our chicken pen, let all the chickens out, threw about £5 worth of food and grit everywhere, and then appeared in my lounge (I was tidying up toys) and chucked 4 eggs on the floor (thankfully didn’t break!). I’m over it.

I only discovered the chickens let out (for foxes to eat) and food thrown everywhere just now as I went to tidy up outside for the evening. I went to knock on holiday let’s door but was dark inside downstairs and I could hear kids in bathroom upstairs so they are obviously doing bath and bedtime now.

I’ll speak with them tomorrow, but I just needed to rant. We’ve had so many people traveling to our lovely part of the country the past couple years and it does provide income for many local people (not Dh and I, we work in careers totally unrelated to tourism). But these are the first CF we’ve had in a long time and it just irritates me. Every time I’ve returned their children to them, they’ve just been in the kitchen, drinking, and oblivious. We had a bonfire burning today. We have a river with deep fast flowing water. We also had our puppy out this afternoon, who is lovely but very big and jumpy, which is why we are careful to only have her off lead on our own farm. She definitely could have injured one on these kids in excitement if we hadn’t known they were wondering around our land. And also just the damage and expense to our livestock. I’ve had to clean out the duck and chicken houses because they filled them with pellets and they can choke without access to water. They’re here 5 more days! I will go have a word in the morning, but in the meantime, just arghhhh!

Hope It's sorted, OP.

Any 5 year olds in the lounge this morning?

Jeez, imagine waking up to find your small child missing 😳😳😳😳 and then not even caring - what odd people, OP.

I think you gave mixed messages, but it's incomprehensible that people would allow a 5 year old to walk around farmland (or anywhere really) unsupervised. What is wrong with them?

Re door locking - I can't believe people are getting so hung up on this. I live in a London suburb and my doors are never locked when I'm in, except when I go to bed at night. We're all different and assess risk differently.

We had a chat with them yesterday afternoon, said happy for them to come over to play in the garden.

If that is the wording you used, it is open to misinterpretation. If you are extending similar invitations in future, you need to make it clear that anything needs to be prearranged, and slip into the conversation that it's a dangerous farm environment so children need to be supervised at all times.

What a weird and unsettling situation. I keep hens and the current bio security around bird flu - keeping the birds inside, using disinfectant on your boots, (even for a small home flock) means that I would certainly not want a 5 year old anywhere near them. I would be furious that he let them out, opening up a risk to bird flu. That aside, allowing a 5 year old to wander around alone is utterly negligent. My house wouldn’t be locked at 8 am and I think you have done absolutely the right thing.

You don’t lock your doors, but you’ve installed CCTV?

Extraordinary that some posters are putting the blame in you OP. For not locking your doors. The parents should be supervising their young children. They are at fault here.

We stayed somewhere very rural once, in a holiday let, awesome place,we locked the doors, out of habit. On our last day I asked what we should do with the keys? On leave them in the table, ok, but that means I can’t lock the door? Oh that’s fine, never a problem here, so I get it.

OP, I’ve only read your posts but the sense that I get is that some people are struggling to get their head around what it’s like to live rurally on a farm.
Just wanted to say that I get you. Of course you wouldn’t lock your house when you’re in it!

I strongly suspect the fact that OP has a lovely big farm house, with land and animals, has triggered some posters, so they’re doing everything they can to attack and blame her.

I live in the middle of nowhere too. We rarely lock our doors. Even when we go out there’s usually an open back door. But they’d have to get through our mahoosive dog who’s as soft as cotton wool but with a terrifying bark.

However, the outbuildings are kept locked up tight because that’s where the crime happens round here.

The cctv is for the barns/equipment etc not the house. OP has already explained. @PuppyMonkey

What are the implications of your chickens having been out?
Birds are still under lockdown orders and must be kept indoors and secure. What happens now that they've been let out? Will they be ok?

Townies will have no idea about the dangers of a working farm. They need this absolutely spelled out to them.

They are taking the piss with what you said about 'happy for them to play in the garden'

The 5 year old roaming around your house and letting out livestock is bloody scary - have they actually apologized for that?

I think your giving mixed messages
You want your children to make new friends and have visiting children over to entertain your children ,when it suits you ..

Well children don’t always understand that ,if they have been in your garden once and allowed to play ,they will keep trying their luck,and keep coming back to try to play again .
It’s like anywhere,once you let the neighbours kids in ,both neighbour’s and their kids think it’s fair game ..
Our neighbours were constantly sending their kids over to play ,after being let in once ..

It sounds like they see your farm as an extension of the house they’ve rented. Perhaps farm=leisure park to them - ie somewhere with cuddly animals and straw bales to sit on rather than the working property it clearly is?

I agree with the poster above that in future you should change the way you offer an invitation to visiting parents and children. Say something like “We have children of similar ages. If your children would like to come around to our house with you for a play-date, then just let us know and we can arrange something”.

I live in a rural holiday area and a few tourists see to think that every local person is somehow an employee of the tourist board here. One got quite ratty with me once when I couldn’t help her, like that was my job.

These adults visiting the property near you clearly don’t understand how dangerous farms can be, and I think you need to explicitly point out the dangers. I’d also ask for compensation for the mess caused and the time it took you to tidy up. Personally I wouldn’t have these children visit again.

I know she has explained - but she also says there is never any crime in rural Devon @PuppyPowerTool

Bit of mixed messages - but mainly it sounds like parental neglect. That 5 year old is probably bored and desperate for attention/ interaction. Sad.
Agree with PP having kids to play before has worked well, but this time it hasn’t as no boundaries or supervision from the 3 adults.
But unlike all the posts about nightmare neighbours, at least they will be gone soon!

The parents are at fault for not supervising their child, and the same child is at risk from road traffic accidents, railways, etc at home too. They said, I don't understand why you didn't just tell the parents on the first occasion of finding a child that they needed to be careful because It's a working farm. I also don't understand why you then had your kids pop them back instead of going yourself to reiterated that it isn't safe and the kids must not be left to roam unsupervised. You don't need to be shouting in order to be clear, but you do need to start saying it the first time this stuff happens rather than letting your temper build up over multiple incidents.

I'm surprised you didn't have locked doors due to the dangers of your own toddlers on a working farm, even at 4 the little one is a bit young for the trust you seem to be placing in him to behave safely at all times.

You need to tell the parents how a farm is a workplace and not child entertainment.

Maybe suggest they watch 'Apaches'.

God you're getting a hard time here. Nothing in you wording even hinted at 'I'm happy for your 5-year-old to come over on his own at 8 am tomorrow'.

Presumably their only experience of a farm is the sanitised play farm they may have visited, where you can wander about and feed things because everything has been made safe for visitors. They are cheeky fuckers and also possibly blissfully unaware of the number of things on a farm that can kill you. You need to speak to them firmly. Next time there are visitors restrict interactions with them to 'good morning '. Your major mistake was inviting their children over. Cheeky fuckers smell an opportunity at 50 paces.

@PuppyMonkey

I know she has explained - but she also says there is never any crime in rural Devon *@PuppyPowerTool*

That's not at all what she has said. It's like you haven't even read her posts. If you had read the OP's posts then you wouldnt have posted this.

She has repeatedly explained that there is crime, but rural crime is stealing livestock and farming equipment. No one breaks into houses.

Their livestock and farming equipment is as secure as it can be and has CCTV and security lights. That's what is needed on a farm.

But you dont need to lock your doors. No one is coming into your house to commit a crime.

OP has said rural crime happens but rural crime has nothing to do with locking to doors to your home.

But a 5 year old can get a lot further through gates and fences then a thief with a van or trailer so they need to be supervised.

Some people really know how to rip the arse out of a fun thread.

So one of the five year old’s neglectful parents is an employee of the holiday let owner, who is now absolutely hopping mad? Is there any way at all that we can obtain a recording of the conversation between them on Tuesday?

I hope you got it sorted @mindutopia, the parents need a kick up the arse

It’s not an issue of your doors being unlocked.
It a young child not been cared for . A five year old shouldn’t be able to wander onto a farm and let chickens out.
You should have reported it to 111 as safeguarding incident.

Most importantly, are the hens ok?

Rural crime tends to be nicking quad bikes or animals from barns. I have a friend who was burgled in a targeted thing mind you - the customer list of a gun website where they’d ordered shotgun shells was hacked and the thieves were watching the house and broke in as soon as everyone was out. Totally trashed the house but didn’t find the gun safe or actually take anything, afaik. But mostly rural crime is things like siphoning oil, nicking tools from barns and sheds and the like.

In any case it’s by the by - a five year old should not be wandering around unsupervised, no matter what invitations may have been issued and anyone with half a brain cell would realise this! Hopefully the cottage owners will read them the riot act and it won’t happen again. The sheer number of scary things to be found on the average farm by a curious small child makes me feel a bit queasy tbh. Idiot parents.