Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

The holidaymakers next door

532 replies

mindutopia · 17/04/2022 19:55

Just a rant really, I know I’m not being at all unreasonable. We live in a very rural area that is somewhere people like to visit. It’s pretty and remote and lovely. The only house within about a mile or more is a holiday let. Owners are lovely and actually bought the property back that their grandparents used to own 60 years ago. We have no issues with them. We also have no issues with 95% of their guests. They are usually very quiet and respectful and all that.

We had a family arrive yesterday for the week, with a 5 & 10 year old (we have a 4 & 9 year old, so great we thought!). They came over to play yesterday afternoon, fine.

I woke up this morning to their 5 year old in our lounge (we have like 5 doors, it’s a big old farmhouse, we don’t lock them usually at night as literally no one bothers us down here). I returned him to his family. Hmm

They attempted to come over several times today but I sent them back as we were having an Easter egg hunt in the garden and also having lunch. They finally came over again in the afternoon (I was in the house tidying up after lunch). We live on a farm so I can’t really see much from the kitchen, or else if I’d seen them, I would have intervened.

The 5 year old got into our chicken pen, let all the chickens out, threw about £5 worth of food and grit everywhere, and then appeared in my lounge (I was tidying up toys) and chucked 4 eggs on the floor (thankfully didn’t break!). I’m over it. Hmm

I only discovered the chickens let out (for foxes to eat) and food thrown everywhere just now as I went to tidy up outside for the evening. I went to knock on holiday let’s door but was dark inside downstairs and I could hear kids in bathroom upstairs so they are obviously doing bath and bedtime now.

I’ll speak with them tomorrow, but I just needed to rant. We’ve had so many people traveling to our lovely part of the country the past couple years and it does provide income for many local people (not Dh and I, we work in careers totally unrelated to tourism). But these are the first CF we’ve had in a long time and it just irritates me. Every time I’ve returned their children to them, they’ve just been in the kitchen, drinking, and oblivious. We had a bonfire burning today. We have a river with deep fast flowing water. We also had our puppy out this afternoon, who is lovely but very big and jumpy, which is why we are careful to only have her off lead on our own farm. She definitely could have injured one on these kids in excitement if we hadn’t known they were wondering around our land. And also just the damage and expense to our livestock. I’ve had to clean out the duck and chicken houses because they filled them with pellets and they can choke without access to water. They’re here 5 more days! I will go have a word in the morning, but in the meantime, just arghhhh!

OP posts:
converseandjeans · 18/04/2022 00:21

People seem to be deliberately missing the point. It's not a thread about whether you should start locking the house.

BungleandGeorge · 18/04/2022 00:28

I also know people who are very rural and have been actively targeted for burglaries. A kid got into your house with your family in there (presumably asleep) and nobody knew until you came back from your dog walk.
Of course the family are in the wrong but you can only really control what you do so personally I’d keep people out

Marchitectmummy · 18/04/2022 00:34

Having the children over at first blured the lines. It suited you for their children to entertain yours until you yourself had things to do. It's clearer not to entertain them in the first place.

LF2239 · 18/04/2022 00:36

We're rural and never used to lock our doors at night until we got a cat who learnt how to open them so we'd come down in the morning to the back door wide open!
OP is right when they say that townies mis-interpret "rural crime". Its theft of sheep, quad bikes, tools etc from sheds that forms the majority of rural crime.

cherish123 · 18/04/2022 01:08

This brat sounds horrendous. Parents obviously refuse to discipline or take responsibility. I would speak firmly to the parents tomorrow. This is never acceptable. Also - lock your doors at night.

Original poster
mindutopia · 18/04/2022 01:13

I am laughing a little bit because of all the parking threads on MN. God forbid if someone parks sucks that they are 6 cm too close to your drive, everyone freaks out. But randoms climbing gates, appearing in your lounge, potentially putting your animals at risk, no one is too bothered.

Anyway, I was in touch with the holiday let owners and they are really angry. The first response was, I think, from the person who manages it all for them (she lives in the village) and the second from the actual owner (apparently it’s his employee who is staying here this week), he was pretty pissed off, so no doubt it will all be swiftly dealt with in the morning.

OP posts:
NeverChange · 18/04/2022 01:15

Are you sure you aren't in validating your home insurance by not blocking the doors?!

There is zero downside to locking them and numerous benefits. If that 5 year old had had a serious accident in your house, I'm sure the insurers would fight the claim.

Original poster
mindutopia · 18/04/2022 01:29

@NeverChange is this actually a thing people do? I’ve truly never met anyone around here who locks their doors when they are home? It’s one thing if no one is home, but to literally take the dog like 100m away while 3 people are actually in the house seems crazy.

I mean it doesn’t really fix the problem though does it?? Because the actual damage occurred behind closed, locked gates, behind 4 foot livestock fencing, while no one was around to be like ‘hey stop it!’. What do all the rest of the farmers in the UK do? We can’t be forever hanging out hoping no one is on holiday and decides to cross their land.

The issue with the kids coming into our house is one thing. But I it doesn’t address that at a completely separate time(s), they climbed over the gate and let our ducks and chickens out, and just generally were running around a working farm (behind obvious closed gates).

OP posts:
Thoosa · 18/04/2022 01:48

[quote mindutopia]@Greyarea12 But it wasn’t at night when the whole house was asleep! We have CCTV and security lights as we have a business on site. All barns are locked up at night, but I can’t literally lock the livestock pens or fields because animals need to come out to eat during the day.

I’d gone out to walk the dog, leaving the house unlocked, while the rest of the family was inside. Surely, that’s normal. I have literally never known anyone around here who locks their doors during the day while they are home inside the house. That may be the norm somewhere, but definitely not here. Anyway, even still I’d supervise my dc if I thought they might be somewhere random (outside the confines of my holiday let garden - fwiw holiday let comes with 28 acres of grounds and woodland, very clearly demarcated behind a hedge/fence). They actually have more land/room to wander than we do, but most of it isn’t a working farm.[/quote]
You literally said;

I woke up this morning to their 5 year old in our lounge (we have like 5 doors, it’s a big old farmhouse, we don’t lock them usually at night as literally no one bothers us down here). I returned him to his family.

Stop with the contradictions and diversions.

Furries · 18/04/2022 02:37

I’ve got no advice, and am not going to debate re doors being locked.

I’m just here as am REALLY hoping for a photo of a large-breed puppy 🐾

Clymene · 18/04/2022 02:40

Why are people so fucking fixated on whether or not the OP locks her doors? The issue is the 5 year old wandering into her house and among her livestock Hmm

1forAll74 · 18/04/2022 03:26

Just tell the parents straight away., to keep their children under control,, they are probably not countryside people, and not aware of farm issues, regarding animals and poultry etc.

Zonder · 18/04/2022 03:43

@Clymene

Why are people so fucking fixated on whether or not the OP locks her doors? The issue is the 5 year old wandering into her house and among her livestock Hmm
This! There's such a trend on MN these days to blame the OP no matter what.
Soresoresore · 18/04/2022 04:17

@NeverChange is this actually a thing people do? I’ve truly never met anyone around here who locks their doors when they are home? It’s one thing if no one is home, but to literally take the dog like 100m away while 3 people are actually in the house seems crazy.

Yes, people lock their doors! Most people would find something far worse than a 5 year old waiting for them in the morning if they didn’t! Even in the day doors get locked.

I hope your little intruder is watched more carefully by his parents from now on OP.

carefullycourageous · 18/04/2022 04:32

Wtf is going on with this thread? Plenty of people in very rural areas don't lock their doors. I always lock my door because I live in a town. This is not complicated.

Anyway... Of course you are not at fault, even if they misconstrued the invitation, it is clearly genuinely neglectful to let a 5yo wander round a stranger's farm unsupervised.

I think you should lock your doors until they vacate as it is better they are not in your house. I hope it resolves.

JustJam4Tea · 18/04/2022 04:52

I live in a town, in a very low crime area. We regularly leave the house unlocked In the day. I’ll go out for a run in the morning and leave dh in bed.

We usually lock up at night, but tbh that’s just habit.

TabithaTittlemouse · 18/04/2022 07:03

I love that people don’t understand that others might live different to them.

Sounds like we live in quite similar places op (although I do scones the proper way Wink), we don’t lock up. There’s no need.

Locks aren’t what’s needed, the holiday makers parenting their child is.

TwoDaysOff · 18/04/2022 07:12

Ignoring the infighting about locks...people live differently. Anyway.
Hope the owners sort it for you and that the chickens and ducks are okay.

doitwithlove · 18/04/2022 07:13

Do not have holiday makers children in your garden to play. Keep yourself to yourself

Goldbar · 18/04/2022 07:18

The parents are entirely to blame. I'd never let my 4yo go off on a playdate in a strange place with people I'd only met once and full of hazards (farm) without me there to supervise. Maybe parents are over-cautious where we live (most would stay until age 6/7 and then would only leave their DC with parents they know), but it seems very casual of them and no doubt they take this attitude to their children generally which is why they didn't notice the younger one wandering off (at which point I'd be calling the police if I woke up to find my child missing!). You have to be extra-cautious with children in holiday scenarios around hazards/water, not less cautious.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 18/04/2022 07:23

Letting a 5yo wander off a quarter of a mile in an unfamiliar place where there is the possibility of large animals, massive machinery, unknown people, etc is seen by most as neglectful parenting.

It doesn't matter if the OP had her doors wide open or lived in Fort Knox, the parents were acting dangerously.

Hope today is better.

PuppyPowerTool · 18/04/2022 07:31

Did you lose chickens to the foxes? I'd be furious about that!

Weepingwillows12 · 18/04/2022 07:37

The parents are totally in the wrong here. Who on earth leaves a 5 year old to wander around a farm unsupervised. So many hazards. And not noticing that the 5 year-old has left your property and gone to next door is actually scary. The 5 year-old may be an escape artist but surely you then take extra precautions or at least make sure it only happens once. They sound a bit clueless of the risks so hopefully the holiday let owners will spell it out to them.

Cervinia · 18/04/2022 07:43

I live in a small town in West Yorkshire, I don't lock my doors during the day, I do at night but I might not if I lived in rural Devon. I think some people have no concept of living in a really safe area. Or even a semi safe area at that.

YANBU OP, the family across the way are CFs and presumably town or city dwellers where danger = roads and strangers, none of which are prevalent in your area. They clearly have no concept of countryside danger.

Sunshine847 · 18/04/2022 07:46

No idea the fixation on the door locking on the thread. We are semi rural and lock up at night. So can see how this could of happened.
100% the parents fault and I'd be really concerned about their lack of concern over their child's safety and respect for someone else's property.

Hopefully you don't see them again and they pay for any damage caused to you.