Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

The holidaymakers next door

532 replies

mindutopia · 17/04/2022 19:55

Just a rant really, I know I’m not being at all unreasonable. We live in a very rural area that is somewhere people like to visit. It’s pretty and remote and lovely. The only house within about a mile or more is a holiday let. Owners are lovely and actually bought the property back that their grandparents used to own 60 years ago. We have no issues with them. We also have no issues with 95% of their guests. They are usually very quiet and respectful and all that.

We had a family arrive yesterday for the week, with a 5 & 10 year old (we have a 4 & 9 year old, so great we thought!). They came over to play yesterday afternoon, fine.

I woke up this morning to their 5 year old in our lounge (we have like 5 doors, it’s a big old farmhouse, we don’t lock them usually at night as literally no one bothers us down here). I returned him to his family. Hmm

They attempted to come over several times today but I sent them back as we were having an Easter egg hunt in the garden and also having lunch. They finally came over again in the afternoon (I was in the house tidying up after lunch). We live on a farm so I can’t really see much from the kitchen, or else if I’d seen them, I would have intervened.

The 5 year old got into our chicken pen, let all the chickens out, threw about £5 worth of food and grit everywhere, and then appeared in my lounge (I was tidying up toys) and chucked 4 eggs on the floor (thankfully didn’t break!). I’m over it. Hmm

I only discovered the chickens let out (for foxes to eat) and food thrown everywhere just now as I went to tidy up outside for the evening. I went to knock on holiday let’s door but was dark inside downstairs and I could hear kids in bathroom upstairs so they are obviously doing bath and bedtime now.

I’ll speak with them tomorrow, but I just needed to rant. We’ve had so many people traveling to our lovely part of the country the past couple years and it does provide income for many local people (not Dh and I, we work in careers totally unrelated to tourism). But these are the first CF we’ve had in a long time and it just irritates me. Every time I’ve returned their children to them, they’ve just been in the kitchen, drinking, and oblivious. We had a bonfire burning today. We have a river with deep fast flowing water. We also had our puppy out this afternoon, who is lovely but very big and jumpy, which is why we are careful to only have her off lead on our own farm. She definitely could have injured one on these kids in excitement if we hadn’t known they were wondering around our land. And also just the damage and expense to our livestock. I’ve had to clean out the duck and chicken houses because they filled them with pellets and they can choke without access to water. They’re here 5 more days! I will go have a word in the morning, but in the meantime, just arghhhh!

OP posts:
ForeverLooking · 18/04/2022 10:48

People can be so strange when visiting the countryside...like it's a free for all, you can go anywhere you like, park anywhere you like. I livery my horse on a working farm with cattle and sheep. We've had people walk in (most of the time with kids) through the farm yard past the house to look into the pens. You have to walk a long way through, it's not just off the road. I busted a grandma with her grandson feeding my horse in the stable yard! I've never seen one person not act pissed off they've been asked to leave. I don't know what goes on in people's heads. A farm can be a really dangerous place. We've got tractors and combines, loose dogs, some really fiesty cockrels, a cantankerous retired ex farm owner and two bulls. We even had some teenagers in the fields playing with the yearlings (one of which likes to try and kick your head off for a laugh).
Hope you had no visitors this morning OP.

MarriedThreeChildren · 18/04/2022 10:49

People are thick / don’t realise.

No I think people are entitled and expect the world to work around them rather than the other way around.

EvilPea · 18/04/2022 10:49

@Ducksurprise

we would end up with other kids following us and ours as we were playing with ours not ignoring them.

Always, and my kids hated it as well.

Glad it wasn’t just us! I always felt terrible for mine, but the little kids were so happy with their tasks etc it seemed mean to send them back to just sit and look on. I’d try to manage it to get mine to lead it not me but by that point they just had the hump.
katepilar · 18/04/2022 10:55

I think some people also dont realise that 8am is not "at night" when you live on a farm.

MrsSkylerWhite · 18/04/2022 10:57

Why on earth would you invite the children of complete strangers to play with yours in your home?

M0RVEN · 18/04/2022 10:58

@MrsSkylerWhite

Why on earth would you invite the children of complete strangers to play with yours in your home?
It’s normal in the country.
LakieLady · 18/04/2022 11:00

Anyway, OP, YABVU because we're now 250+ posts in and we still haven't seen a pic of the big puppy.

MajorCarolDanvers · 18/04/2022 11:01

@MrsSkylerWhite

Why on earth would you invite the children of complete strangers to play with yours in your home?
It's how children make new friends.
OakRowan · 18/04/2022 11:02

Where are your boundaries around the safety and privacy of your own family? Entertaining stranger's kids and vice versa, you might not be safe people they might not be for your kids either, you want the holiday let company to deal with it after you complian but you allow this to happen. Oh but we live rural and its nice for the kids? Crazy.

tara66 · 18/04/2022 11:04

Also we haven't had any pics. of chickens, dogs, doors, garden, farm etc.

MrsSkylerWhite · 18/04/2022 11:05

M0RVEN

MrsSkylerWhite
Why on earth would you invite the children of complete strangers to play with yours in your home?

“It’s normal in the country“

Wasn’t when we lived in my husbands home-county (Cornwall).

Schhhteeevie · 18/04/2022 11:07

I have my suspicions that anyone trying to blame the OP here because she doesn’t lock her doors is a CF who offloads their kids on others on holidays.

CFs! The lorra ya!

amicissimma · 18/04/2022 11:12

The door-locking issue is a complete red herring. Obviously people do what works for them in their circumstances, which are rarely the same as those of other people, who do what works for them.

Unfortunately I think by letting the children come over without any adults and saying you 'would be happy to invite them back at some point this week' you have managed to give mixed messages. While the vast majority would take this to mean that their children shouldn't enter your farm unaccompanied and uninvited, a few would hear that as 'let the children come over alone whenever you feel like it'. Sadly, you've met some!

In future, when you meet visiting neighbours, I'd recommend a friendly greeting but pointing out that farms are working environments, full of dangers, particularly to those who are unfamiliar with such environments, and asking that children are kept away unless you have invited them and they are accompanied by an adult.

callingon · 18/04/2022 11:13

I can testify to the total lack of door locking in the (properly) rural West Country. Having lived in cities for 10 years I think I’d struggle to go back to it but it certainly happens.

Tumbleweed101 · 18/04/2022 11:16

I live rurally and didn't lock my door much. I only do now because both my dogs have learned to use door handles and escape!

I wouldn't expect to find random children in my house regardless of a daytime invite to play the day before and I'd be annoyed at them messing about with the chickens.

NettleTea · 18/04/2022 11:16

nobody with half a brain thinks that its OK for their 5 year old kid, at the crack of dawn, to let themselves into someone elses house even if they HAVE been on a playdate the day before

Nobody with half a brain lets their kids run roughshod over a farm, which again, anyone with any kind of sense, would know is full of dangerous things.

The door locking or not is a red herring. The mixed messages or not is a red herring. (and even so, you check, dont just send the kids off willy nilly)

This is crap and shoddy and negligent parenting on behalf of the holiday guests

MeridianB · 18/04/2022 11:17

Sounds horrendous, OP. I think the first clue was when the holiday children turned up without an adult after you invitation to come and play. Three adults chose to let a 5yo be supervised by his 9yo sister at a stranger’s house while they got drunk. They didn’t bother to collect them, either. Did they even thank you?

You’ve done the right thing by calling the owner. Hopefully the holidaymakers will be leaving today.

LindaEllen · 18/04/2022 11:20

@Justmuddlingalong

I think the mistake was you inviting the kids in to play. All you need is a review online, written by the current guests saying how welcoming you were to their kids, and you're fucked.
Yeah, absolutely this. It's not your holiday let, you need to separate yourselves completely from it. Lock your doors, make sure there are gates where anyone could get in, and lock those too. As a few others have mentioned, farms can be so unsafe - and if the parents of the holiday kids can't be arsed looking after their own and setting boundaries, you MUST make sure they can't get onto your land. We've all heard stories of homeowners being liable when trespassers have injured themselves.. even though it's complete bollocks that it should work like that.
OakRowan · 18/04/2022 11:21

OP I grew up as rural as that, working yard, no neighbours, huge heavy plant machinery. We played in the yard as kids, operated the equipment as we grew up, worked.there ourselves, because that's how we grew up. School friends and visitors didn't though. Great for you that you allow your farm to be used as an adventure playground to entertain your own kids, but see this as a warning if what could happen, ultimately it doesn't matter how shit their parenting and supervision is, these 'townies', if there was a serious accident and it turns out you'd been allowing access like this for years, for your own benefit the you'd be the one looking lax about the risk assessment around your business. Its up to you to keep yourself safe from other idiot's kids, instead of outraged they've ahit the place up and let out livestock. Ah yeah, well, we let them in, they roamed around but we never said no, we expect strangers and their young children to know about and maintain the boundaries we should be enforcing ourselves as the adult owners of a dangerous working site and home, so that no one gets killed.
See it as an opportunity to change what you do there instead of having a go at the holiday let owners and having unrealistic expectations of the strangers you are so dismissive of for their lack of understanding of your charming rural life.

Beetlewings · 18/04/2022 11:22

I've been on holidays with people who think a holiday means someone else will mind their kids while they drink the day away. I've had half a dozen little hangers on while I entertained my two, not wanting to shoo them back to a miserable tent or apartment where they'll get ignored by their parents.

Glittertwins · 18/04/2022 11:25

I find it mad that 3 adults could not supervise 1 small child properly (or even lock their own door to prevent a a breakout) and for it to be wandering 400m, over gates and into someone else's property followed by damaging that property. Those "adults" need a good talking to and they are extremely lucky that nothing serious happened to that child.

LookItsMeAgain · 18/04/2022 11:26

@mindutopia

Thanks all, I have calmed down and feel a bit less ranty. I’ve messaged the holiday let owners and asked them to deal with it. As it’s their issue ultimately to handle as they are the ones making like £1500 off them this week.
I got as far as this post @mindutopia, and thought, if you lose any of your chickens due to this family, I hope you'll be approaching the holiday let owners looking to be compensated for that?

I hope you'll be ok for the rest of the week.

Beetlewings · 18/04/2022 11:28

And what's more, little children will gravitate towards a responsible adult, in lieu of having on at home. I've seen this SO many times, I'm siding with the person who suggested calling Social Services

SoupDragon · 18/04/2022 11:28

It's not your holiday let, you need to separate yourselves completely from it. Lock your doors, make sure there are gates where anyone could get in, and lock those too.

The child climbed over the gate.

BoristalkedaboutBruno22 · 18/04/2022 11:29

OP I hope that this is resolved and they don’t cause anymore issues.

Swipe left for the next trending thread