Anyone know what this word is?

[Palease]

I used to see a counsellor and she said I do something that basically means combine my wants and needswith my partners. It was combiance or confluence or something. I can’t find anything on the internet though for those words.

Conflating your needs with your partners? As in believing your partners needs are yours too?

Co-dependence?

Concatenation/concatenate?

Convergence?

So it's like the opposite of being self governing. You want what your partner wants?

Conflate or Co-dependent?

No it’s not any of those. She drew two circles and one was me and one a partner. They were massively overlapped. She said a lot of my personality is what my partner thinks or wants or feel and only a small bit left of me. She said most peoples circles only overlap a little.

I think it was to do with needing to please and not having a separate identity.

Compliance?

Confluence!

@SwissCheeseRentedChildren

Confluence!

Haha as if!! That’s the word and I said it in my OP . I had googled that before and nothing came up. It has now I added “psychology”

Incongruent - like they don’t match ?

Congruence ?

Congruence?

Convergence?

It is confluence. Thanks everyone.

Happy to help!