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Should a person cook what their spouse wants or what their child wants?

82 replies

Nomunkat · 12/04/2022 17:53

Hypothetical situation
My husband asked me the same question and was a bit surprised at my response

Say one spouse is in a relationship where they are the main person to cook and makes dinner for their family every night (if one spouse works full time and the other is a stay at home parent for instance).
On nights where they don't know what to cook or don't fancy anything particular, and they ask spouse and child what they want to eat. If they both want to eat something different, what should they cook? What the partner wants or what the child wants?

OP posts:
LoveSpringDaffs · 12/04/2022 18:06

Too many variables!!

HollowTalk · 12/04/2022 18:07

@Fluffybunnycat

Bit of taking turns and give and take, I think.
But most adults don't want to come home to a child's favourite dinner!
mrziggycoco · 12/04/2022 18:09

I often make my daughter olive pasta in one pot. I blend olives, celery, carrot, onion, garlic, and seasoning with a tin of tomatoes, fill the tin up with water, add a handful of pasta, pour it all in and put the lid on.

This makes a lovely nutritious pasta that she is guaranteed to like.

My husband will eat whatever I give him but I am always looking for new things to cook anyway so am glad to try recipes out. Today I've already done pate, donuts, three dishes that were used to make lunch and dinner plates, and I had curry and rice left over. So my husband's eaten all day while me and my daughter try new things. We made donuts for the first time.

Cooking and clearing up for three meals a day could be a full-time job on its own so meal prep is very useful.

I have a few staples -lasagne, cottage pie, bolognaise, curry and rice, and freezer tea- that fill the majority of most week's dinners.

Oftentimes there are leftovers in tubs of the above which can be used alone or combined to microwave a plate for a hungry spouse or child.

If you have time to make two different meals then great. But it's really not that big of an issue when it comes to a child, well not at mine's age, of 6, as waffles and beans/spaghetti hoops, the pasta I mentioned, or another quick tea can go in place of a freshly cooked meal. So I don't mind doing it.

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Nomunkat · 12/04/2022 18:13

Thank you guys!
All insightful replies that make sense

OP posts:
willingtolearn · 12/04/2022 18:13

If I ever ask my multiple children and husband for ideas for dinner, I only ever seem to get the answer - takeaway! They clearly do not value my cooking skills.

I think if you ask several people what they want and then 'choose' you're going to upset someone.

BakewellGin1 · 12/04/2022 18:14

Both....
If I'm in the kitchen anyway makes absolutely zero difference.
We do Sunday lunches and odd family meals such as bolegnese etc but generally we do adult meal and child meal
Nobody is forced to eat what they don't like or fancy that day. All eat reasonably well.

TeddyPbrows · 12/04/2022 18:15

The spouse can cook their own meal, the child cannot !!

Nomunkat · 12/04/2022 18:17

@mrziggycoco

I often make my daughter olive pasta in one pot. I blend olives, celery, carrot, onion, garlic, and seasoning with a tin of tomatoes, fill the tin up with water, add a handful of pasta, pour it all in and put the lid on.

This makes a lovely nutritious pasta that she is guaranteed to like.

My husband will eat whatever I give him but I am always looking for new things to cook anyway so am glad to try recipes out. Today I've already done pate, donuts, three dishes that were used to make lunch and dinner plates, and I had curry and rice left over. So my husband's eaten all day while me and my daughter try new things. We made donuts for the first time.

Cooking and clearing up for three meals a day could be a full-time job on its own so meal prep is very useful.

I have a few staples -lasagne, cottage pie, bolognaise, curry and rice, and freezer tea- that fill the majority of most week's dinners.

Oftentimes there are leftovers in tubs of the above which can be used alone or combined to microwave a plate for a hungry spouse or child.

If you have time to make two different meals then great. But it's really not that big of an issue when it comes to a child, well not at mine's age, of 6, as waffles and beans/spaghetti hoops, the pasta I mentioned, or another quick tea can go in place of a freshly cooked meal. So I don't mind doing it.

Sounds like a good system.

Your family is lucky and today's menu sounds delicious!

I'm pregnant and have been craving duck paté but can't, for the life of me, find it anywhere! Had to stick with vegetarian aubergine and bell pepper paté but it's definitely not the same.
You've inspired me to look for a recipe

OP posts:
ReadyToMoveIt · 12/04/2022 18:17

But most adults don't want to come home to a child's favourite dinner!

Why? DD1’s favourite meal is lasagne, DD2’s is chicken stir fry with noodles and DS’s is burritos. DH does most of the cooking as he works from home, and I’m generally happy to come home to those things 🤷🏻‍♀️

1forAll74 · 12/04/2022 18:20

All would have to eat the same, and no messing about, Most people would like my meals, and the choices I make.. I have never really had to ask people what they would like to eat, they just eat my meals, and that's it.

Svara · 12/04/2022 18:22

But most adults don't want to come home to a child's favourite dinner!
A combination of taking turns and compromise. DS's favourite dinner is vindaloo (he is a teen but it's been his favourite since he was 10) and I wouldn't want to eat that! So I often cook hot curries, just not that hot and he is happy enough to have his favourite on his birthday etc.

Nomunkat · 12/04/2022 18:22

@ReadyToMoveIt

But most adults don't want to come home to a child's favourite dinner!

Why? DD1’s favourite meal is lasagne, DD2’s is chicken stir fry with noodles and DS’s is burritos. DH does most of the cooking as he works from home, and I’m generally happy to come home to those things 🤷🏻‍♀️

How did you manage to make them enjoy more sophisticated meals, if I may ask?

My baby's not born yet but many children I know only eat beige food or food with simple textures.

Heard of parents who let their children choose what they wanted to eat at restaurants for instance instead of handing them the child's menu, but I'm not sure if that really works?

OP posts:
OctopusSay · 12/04/2022 18:22

I wouldn't offer them both the choice. I'd sometimes ask one and sometimes the other.

If I had inadvertently got into a situation where I got two requests, it would depend which one I liked best or which was the easier to prepare.

pastabest · 12/04/2022 18:23

I do all the cooking in our house because no one else will.

I don't ask anyone what they want. They get what they are given as per the meal plan i have in my head for the week and if they don't like it they are welcome to take over the shopping/meal planning/cooking at any time. Small children excluded obviously.

AhhhHereItGoes · 12/04/2022 18:24

It would depend on whether I'd cooked more meals my husband or my kids liked.

Whichever one I hadn't cooked many favourites for recently would be the one I'd cook for this time.

Nomunkat · 12/04/2022 18:25

@AhhhHereItGoes

It would depend on whether I'd cooked more meals my husband or my kids liked.

Whichever one I hadn't cooked many favourites for recently would be the one I'd cook for this time.

Ohhh that sounds fair!
OP posts:
heartofgrass · 12/04/2022 18:27

How did you manage to make them enjoy more sophisticated meals, if I may ask?

For me, it was ensuring from the very beginning they ate 'adult' meals. Just with less salt/spice at first. I've never like oven food like chips, nuggets, beige food etc so never fed them to my kids and as a result Dc will eat anything.
I do realise I'm lucky in that I've not had a child with food aversions etc.

Atmywitsend29 · 12/04/2022 18:29

I'm another vote for both.
We rarely eat all at the same time anyway, ds eats his dinner and DH and I eat a few hours later.

Nomunkat · 12/04/2022 18:30

@heartofgrass

How did you manage to make them enjoy more sophisticated meals, if I may ask?

For me, it was ensuring from the very beginning they ate 'adult' meals. Just with less salt/spice at first. I've never like oven food like chips, nuggets, beige food etc so never fed them to my kids and as a result Dc will eat anything.
I do realise I'm lucky in that I've not had a child with food aversions etc.

That's a great approach! Will try that with my kid, thank you!
OP posts:
ReadyToMoveIt · 12/04/2022 18:31

How did you manage to make them enjoy more sophisticated meals, if I may ask?

Well I don’t really consider them sophisticated meals, they’re just standard meals! But just by feeding them those things from the start. If you don’t offer beige foods, it won’t become a preference. Mine aren’t fussed about things like chicken nuggets/fish fingers. They’ll eat them if given but if asked what they want to eat they would never request anything like that.

frazzledasarock · 12/04/2022 18:32

I’d cook whichever of the two options given I wanted to cook. Eg was quickest/sounded like something I’d prefer etc.

twinkie100 · 12/04/2022 18:33

The person cooking should cook what they want the most!

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 12/04/2022 18:33

But most adults don't want to come home to a child's favourite dinner!

Why not?

Svara · 12/04/2022 18:37

How did you manage to make them enjoy more sophisticated meals, if I may ask?
DS just ate normal food the same as me from the start. I was skint so that was porridge, soup, chilli, bolognese, curries, dhal.

Svara · 12/04/2022 18:40

@fairylightsandwaxmelts

But most adults don't want to come home to a child's favourite dinner!

Why not?

Yeah I'm wondering the same! I wouldn't want to come home to my DM's favourite of icecream and half a bottle of red. It's just personal preference surely?