Page 8 | I regret moving (back) to Australia

Inchail · 12/04/2022 09:50

It's strange how many people can't wait to tell me that the country I grew up in has 'no culture.' Often they haven't even been there.

But I suspect what they mean is history and not 'culture' as in the arts.

Nothappyatwork · 12/04/2022 09:54

I literally spent yesterday talking to a young guy in our office who is absolutely desperate to move back to Australia with his family but his wife won’t leave the UK.

I helped him put together a reasoned document to run past her one last attempt to save their marriage to be honest because he refuses to stay in the UK and spend his life working and having nothing to show for it no quality of life and nothing to leave his children.

I do you think the experience that you have in Australia very much depends on whereabouts you go it’s a very big place I moved to Little Britain in Perth everybody who’s there will know exactly where I’m talking about and I hated every minute of it and came home. If I have gone over east I truly believe with still be there now

CrunchyCarrot · 12/04/2022 10:01

I'm Australian and moved to the UK when I was 23 with my mother and grandmother (both huge Anglophiles). They both went back to Oz after 10 years due to family circumstances and I chose to stay on in England. No way on earth would I ever move back, even though I have not had an easy life here during the first years after they left (am good now, though). I just hate the heat in Australia so much, as well as feeling disconnected from everywhere else. I just felt I didn't belong there.

So sorry you are feeling that way, OP!

RedSwing · 12/04/2022 10:02

@GreenestGrass

DP and I are both Australian. We did the typical young person thing of living in the UK and had the opportunity to extend our stay through work sponsorships and make it a more permanent move. For various reasons we decided to come back home to Australia, but as time goes by both of us feel increasingly regretful of our decision for a few reasons:

-Lower cost of living. I'm not saying living in the UK is cheap but my goodness, Australia is expensive. It really hit home for us when we moved back and were hit with prices for things.
-Lifestyle - we absolutely loved being able to travel easily and the access to different parts of the world. Australia feels so far away from everywhere and again, travelling internationally from here is super expensive. Cities in Australia also feel quite 'samey' and lacking character in comparison to the UK.
-Professional opportunities - with the much smaller population size, professional opportunities here in Australia just can't compare to what we had over there.

These are just a few of the reasons but overall we just preferred living there to here, and now there's not much we can do about it as it's unlikely we'd be able to start over again and also get the work permissions we'd need to legally work in the UK again.

Has anyone ever felt similar regrets? I'm doing my best to enjoy the things life in Australia has to offer but it does feel like we missed our chance a bit here :(

You have cited the very reasons why we didn't wish to extend our work permits to stay in Australia - the only one you missed out was family. My two sisters live in Australia they have Aussie kids - no moving back now!

nolongersurprised · 12/04/2022 10:03

Australia is huge as well, so an individual experience will very much depend on where someone loves. Melbourne is awash with shows, cafes, restaurants and bars. Outback Australia - less so.

If you live in a hot part of Australia it is a massive shock when you first move here. Our Australian children have no concept of cold. My oldest daughter had to put on a jumper before going out this evening because “it’s freezing”. It’s 24 degrees

Trixiefirecracker · 12/04/2022 10:05

I meant culture in that it seems only the very big cities that have much going on, whereas here even the little towns has theatres, festivals, literary festivals etc and museums. Our village has an arts hub, that wasn’t my experience of towns in Australia…but happy to be proved wrong?

Nothappyatwork · 12/04/2022 10:08

@Trixiefirecracker

I meant culture in that it seems only the very big cities that have much going on, whereas here even the little towns has theatres, festivals, literary festivals etc and museums. Our village has an arts hub, that wasn’t my experience of towns in Australia…but happy to be proved wrong?

Just off the top of my head the one waroona arts festival in WA, Mandurah crab fest attracts lots of local artists. Let’s just call a spade a spade hear what they actually mean is they’re gone to Australia and it’s not like England and they’re disappointed well boo fucking hoo, the Aussies are gonna be devastated 🙄

MarshaBradyo · 12/04/2022 10:14

There is a lot on in small towns too - well depending how small but somewhere like Hobart will do festivals, food and music etc

There’s no doubt it can be a very nice place to live but I get the op too

Grimsknee · 12/04/2022 10:16

@nothappyatwork I know a part of Perth that's Cardiff-down-under. An entire small community seems to have moved there and brought decades of infights and boundary violating behaviours (gossiping, meddling, barging in and out of each others houses) with them. It is so funny to see at a distance but also kind of depressing that people can move across the world, and everywhere they go, there they are.

Nothappyatwork · 12/04/2022 10:19

@Grimsknee Butler is literally Liverpool by sea 🤣
They’ve even imported the scallies. My little brother at his car broken into nicked his boxing gloves, the little twat put them up for sale on gumtree so let’s just say my brother went round there collected his gloves and gave the kid a demonstration on how theyre used.

IvorCutler · 12/04/2022 10:20

Does the casual racism bother you too? I could never move back. As much as the scenery is amazing and the weather can be lovely.

BellePeppa · 12/04/2022 10:23

@jerometheturnipking

I'd rather be outdoors in an English summer. Not blisteringly hot and not under the ozone hole. You don't know how lucky you are.

I know exactly how lucky I am - my complaint about living in the UK is the lack of availability of varied outdoor pursuits because so many wimps people think the outdoors is only worth using when it's 25C and sunny. Which in turn creates the issue of the more desirable options being completely mobbed when that does happen because everyone has the same idea. I'm not saying I'd prefer an Australian summer (I'm Scottish, I'd die), just that we could do with taking an attitude adjustment towards what constitutes "good weather for doing stuff outside" as a country here.

I’m one of those wimps😜😁 the slightest bit of cold and I’m back indoors. I don’t like it too hot either but I really really hate the cold. I’m not sure where the perfect (warm, not hot) country would be for me.

Doubledenimrock · 12/04/2022 10:31

[quote Grimsknee]@nothappyatwork I know a part of Perth that's Cardiff-down-under. An entire small community seems to have moved there and brought decades of infights and boundary violating behaviours (gossiping, meddling, barging in and out of each others houses) with them. It is so funny to see at a distance but also kind of depressing that people can move across the world, and everywhere they go, there they are.[/quote]
Intrigued. Which bit of The Diff? 😆

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 12/04/2022 10:35

@IvorCutler

Does the casual racism bother you too? I could never move back. As much as the scenery is amazing and the weather can be lovely.

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned the misogyny. I'd say the racism is on par with the UK but Australia "wins" hands down in the misogyny stakes.

3timeslucky · 12/04/2022 10:42

Life is short. Definitely too short to live in a country that makes you miserable on so many levels.

Have you checked out that you definitely can't get the VISAs you'd need for the UK? What about moving somewhere else that ticks the boxes in connection/connectivity, cost of living and professional opportunities? Or even two out of the three. It mightn't be easy but it might be worthwhile.

ancientgran · 12/04/2022 10:45

@Maltester71

I’m British but lived in Sydney. We went home.

I couldn’t live in Australia. Plenty of British people loved it, but I couldn’t do it long term, all the reasons you describe.

Come back!

I have relatives who emigrated twice and came back twice. Mucked their kids up as their friendships/education got disrupted 4 times.

I couldn't cope with the heat so it was never a dilemma for me.

ChipsAreLife · 12/04/2022 10:46

@Ozgirl75 oh thanks so much! That gives me hope. We thought it would be really complicated and put us off. Thank you

@ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave I said misogyny! It's rife I know it is. Hoping if we do go I could help challenge some of those norms.

I think the culture thing is unfair. My parents used to bang on about it which is why we moved to the UK. They loved the history etc but after a few years of seeing loads it calmed down and it wasn't anymore than we did in Aus!

Surreyhillsmama · 12/04/2022 10:51

@Grimsknee

That was for *@RedToothBrush*

That reply was v gracious of you

Original poster

GreenestGrass · 12/04/2022 10:52

I feel like some people are turning this into a bit of an Australia-bashing session, which, despite my gripes (), I didn't intend. I don't think Australia is some kind of cultural dead zone or backwater - I just personally prefer the types of activities available in the UK. There are so many great things about living here though and I can see why people would aspire to it and enjoy living here.

I haven't consulted with an immigration consultant and I don't know if I will. Moving internationally was very difficult and expensive so I don't know if it's worth uprooting all over again. Maybe the UK is a pipe dream now and I'm longing for it because it seems impossible. I really don't know what to think. I do want to have kids so life there would be very different with kids and no family support.

OP posts:

ancientgran · 12/04/2022 11:01

@nolongersurprised

I cannot imagine my kids living in the UK. They have a great life. They go to a good school, swim all year round, enjoy the beach

I agree with this. I’m not a native Australian either, but my children are. It’s the school holidays here and still 28 degrees, they’ve spent hours in the sea over the last few days. My 8 and 10 year old have done nippers (junior surf life saving) for years and now look like experienced swimmers in the sea, they can pick the sweep, dive into big waves, use the boards etc. I feel like they’re having a good childhood.

Which isn’t to say that parents who live in London and visit art galleries and museums each week aren’t giving their children a good childhood either.

I live in south west England. My kids spent lots of time on the beach all year round. Their school had a little cove that was "their" place and on Friday nights parents would be dropping kids off with their food for the BBQ and probably a few cans they shouldn't have had and the kids then walked along the paths to "their" beach. Our local larger beach has a life saving club, a surf school etc. Life guarding on the beach, leisure centre or hotels/holiday parks is a well paid job for teenagers and one of mine did it when doing A levels and home from uni for the summer.

They had a great childhood and some fun weekends in London thrown in. Not sure why you'd think all that was particularly Australian.

Helleofabore · 12/04/2022 11:03

@GreenestGrass

I understand. We were lucky enough to get citizenship before moving back to Australia. We then have made the move back to live again in London more than 5 years ago. There are moments that I miss living in Australia but I also know we will end up back there to retire most likely because of pensions etc. So it is not like we are not going to go back.

It really is as you say. Neither country is 'superior' but opportunities are different.

I have to say though, that being here through Brexit and Covid has put rather a dent in some of the reasons that we moved back and brought home the distance that we are from family.

Helleofabore · 12/04/2022 11:10

I do want to have kids so life there would be very different with kids and no family support.

It is possible to have children with no family support, but it is that much harder. And if you have parents that are ageing, it is even more harder to be away from them if you have to make decisions about their futures.

Regards housing costs, remember that they fluctuate. And that it can very easily tip the other way where housing in the area you get work in either country can quite quickly boom.

nolongersurprised · 12/04/2022 11:11

Not sure why you'd think all that was particularly Australian

You’re not sure why beach activities are associated with Australia?

I live in south west England. My kids spent lots of time on the beach all year round

Is this typical of children in the UK though? My children wouldn’t swim in colder sea. It’s Autumn here now, yet the water temp was 25 degrees.

Gonnagetgoing · 12/04/2022 11:17

Theres two camp of Australians I know, the ones who moved to UK or away from
Australia for work and to travel and either stayed in UK for same or returned to Australia for work/family etc or the ones from
there lived there all their lives and won’t leave.

I’ve never been so can’t comment on people or culture. I was supposed to go and visit when I was 18 with brother but we didn’t do it. Then again we weren’t sporty and had way too much going on in UK then!

My ex hairdresser moved to Perth because her DH wanted to try it. They both moved back a few years later. For her there were family illnesses, bereavements etc and she told me she wishes she’d been in UK at the time and not other side of the world. She loved the sun, they had good friends but I think it did lack culture for them.

oakleaffy · 12/04/2022 11:18

@Inchail

It's strange how many people can't wait to tell me that the country I grew up in has 'no culture.' Often they haven't even been there.

But I suspect what they mean is history and not 'culture' as in the arts.

''History'' is what most people mean. Australia is a very ''Young'' Country.

The Indigenous People trod lightly on the land, before it was Colonised.
Same with America.

An American on a bus going into Central London said to me :

'' In the UK, a hundred miles is a long way, and a hundred years is nothing. In USA, the opposite it true ''