I'm just feeling sad. No holiday abroad

[Amabish]

My kids range from primary to college and we have never been abroad.

I keep saying every year that we will try but there is 6 of us and its just so expensive.

I finally booked a holiday and paid half in 2020 and yup... Corona.

Got a refund and over the last 2 years the money has gone on routine stuff because its been so tight.

I really wanted to try for this year but looked and its going to be thousands. I just can't do it.

All my siblings and parents are going away again this summer and I just feel so fucking shitty that I can't provide this basic thing for them.

Feel like a failure. All they've ever had is hitty caravan holidays.

Shitty* caravan Holidays.

Feel the same, booked my first holiday to take my kids abroad I haven’t been on holiday in 10 years and my kids haven’t been abroad before, cancelled because of Covid, can’t go now for personal reasons makes me feel bad I can’t take them on holiday.

You do know some people haven't even survived Covid right?
We are camping and shitty caravan holidaying and I can't wait. Very thankful we all made it through.
Holidays are what you make it ime.

OP, my kids love the caravan holidays more than the trips abroad- they're not shitty to your kids!

What kind of holiday are you after? There are all kinds of holidays "abroad" and all kinds of budgets. If you drive and take the ferry/channel tunnel you can get abroad for very little, and then an apartment/villa/cottage doesn't have to cost a fortune either if you stay out of the main resorts. The main all inclusive resorts will cost a huge amount but that's not the only way to holiday!
I've seen UK caravans going for £1200 for a week in holidays, it's bonkers.

What’s your budget? Trips ‘abroad’ don’t have to be a regular package holiday. Ryanair flights to a city for example for a long weekend in apartment can be quite reasonable. Maybe something like that might be more achievable in the next year?

Holidays are about spending time together and having fun. It doesn't have to involve a different country. I never had a foreign holiday as a child and never once felt I'd missed out. Caravan holidays might be a bit crap for the parent who still has to cook and clean but kids genuinely love them.
Give yourself a break. Life is hard.

You do know some people haven't even survived Covid right?

Have you ever seen the four Yorkshiremen? Excellent example of competitive misery and frugality.

I agree OP. It's crap when you've planned and looked forward to something and it doesn't happen. Hope and anticipation is very good for our mood so the opposite is also true.

Can you try to stick a little away somewhere you can't get to it and build up to it gradually?

It doesn’t matter where you go it’s the people you go with. For kids caravans are exciting and special. They will look back at their holidays and remember the things they did which even though you might think are a bit shit, won’t be to them. I’m in my 60s. I didn’t travel out the uk till I was in my 20s. My parents couldn’t afford it, and going overseas wasn’t the norm. It really doesn’t matter, honestly. I’ve not been able to afford a holiday either here or overseas for the last 6 years. I’d like to go but no way can I afford to. It’s crap that so many people are in this position but you aren’t a failure, you really aren’t.

We looked at butlins and couldn’t believe the prices tbh you might as well go abroad!

Have you tried air bnb self catering cottage/villa in the location of choice? Generally much cheaper than an AI hotel. Even if you eat out every day?

Have you priced up a caravan abroad?

Couldn’t you book for next year and pay it off monthly maybe?

How about those French camping sites ? They look fab.

What about Eurocamp? I have heard good things about them? Or have a look at Love Holidays. They often have some cracking deals. If you share a suitcase between 2 you could probably get a good price for a self catering hotel. Then when you are there you can make it more affordable by having a big late breakfast or a picnic lunch on the beach and eat out in the evening every other day. If you go somewhere like Turkey, eating out is inexpensive and amazing

Sorry, we have enjoyed our caravan holidays in the past, I'm just comparing them to sisters all inclusive beach hols in Marmaris and getting the green eyed monster.

I know it's a very first world problem but it's a culmination of just feeling like a really shit parent lately (chronic illness, no savings, stuck renting, no possibility of ever owning a home, over crowded, no inheritance for kids, no idea how they will ever afford to move out. No car, sick of buses and not being able to take kids places)

Just feel like a failure all round

I would say we’re lucky enough to be fairly comfortable i.e we can put the heating on when very chilly (but have turned it off now spring) can afford to feed and clothe ourselves and children and live in a decent house. We’ve never been able to afford a family holiday for our younger children and are very excited to at last be going on a UK caravan holiday this May half term, be so nice to see our 7 year old on her first ever holiday

P.s. our kids don’t seem any less happy than friends kids who always off on holiday, abroad etc. We have fun at home and locally (minimal cost) and then for a bigger treat we do occasional days out which are really exciting for them as not something do all the time

I can't compete with what my sisters do either. But I get abroad by booking cheap flights, going at Easter, May half term or October instead of the Summer hols, or even using a train or boat instead. Eurocamp are cheap off season, and I use booking.com instead of airbnb for self catering, it's much cheaper. We also go for 5 or 6 nights to make it cheaper. I have managed many holidays for around the £1000 mark like this, in Spain, France, Italy and Germany. It is possible. We are a family of 5.

When our kids were younger we did mobile home holidays in France, cooked in most nights rather than eating out. It was generally cheaper than a caravan holiday in the UK. Abroad on a budget!

When I was growing up we had a mixture of holidays at home and abroad. All I remember from them is how much fun I had hanging out with my parents and brother, playing card games on an evening or eating lunch in a restaurant (a huge treat in the 1980's!).
I've no real memory of being 'abroad', I enjoyed all the holidays equally for the family time so please don't stress over letting your kids down

I guess you can look at it that you’ve chosen to have 4 children so you have chosen the joy of that rather than having extra funds available for holidays/inheritance etc. Four kids would be a stretch financially for most people.

I would absolutely love a shitty caravan holiday. This is in poor taste considering some people are cold and hungry.

Just wanted to say, my mum tells us now how she wishes she could’ve afforded more expensive exotic holidays when we were younger (single mum, 4 of us) but I’m 31 now and looking back, those caravan holidays, the coach tours, the weekends in a field were the best memories! My brothers and sister would say the same. The fancy ones with the pools, slides & light up tat were nice at the time. But those aren’t what we remember - it’s the times in the caravan playing games she made up to keep us entertained when it was raining, the beach in the rain looking for horses in the sky (that’s what made thunder when I was little!) all of us together just having fun as a family, that’s what sticks. It’s the time together that matters, not the locations.

@MsTSwift

I guess you can look at it that you’ve chosen to have 4 children so you have chosen the joy of that rather than having extra funds available for holidays/inheritance etc. Four kids would be a stretch financially for most people.

Totally agree with this. We wanted more in an ideal world but prioritised giving the one as much as we can. We are privileged to afford a holiday abroad but we have sacrificed having more children in order to do that.