Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

I'm just feeling sad. No holiday abroad

52 replies

Amabish · 10/04/2022 19:22

My kids range from primary to college and we have never been abroad.

I keep saying every year that we will try but there is 6 of us and its just so expensive.

I finally booked a holiday and paid half in 2020 and yup... Corona.

Got a refund and over the last 2 years the money has gone on routine stuff because its been so tight.

I really wanted to try for this year but looked and its going to be thousands. I just can't do it.

All my siblings and parents are going away again this summer and I just feel so fucking shitty that I can't provide this basic thing for them.

Feel like a failure. All they've ever had is hitty caravan holidays.

OP posts:
LadyIckenham · 10/04/2022 20:18

OP, I'm sorry you are feeling this way, it must be so disappointing to have got so close and then to have seen the money go on necessities.

As others have said, I think UK can be as expensive so you may get there yet. We have 4 DC too and they all love Eurocamp holidays, although we haven't been for four years. We have yet to pay brochure price as we generally wait until nearer the departure date then do a last minute. They tend to have really good deals for May half term in France (can be 4,5 or 6 nights if you can't stretch to 7) and driveable). Another tip is to look at their holidays and then see if you can book direct online with the site. They are often cheaper but you know there will be other children around that yours might wish to buddy up with.

We tend not to do too much when there, mainly pool, lots of French bread and some wine in the evening. Makes it much more affordable and still a change of scene.

As others have said, though, holidays are what you make them, but I can entirely appreciate the need for sunshine and something different. We are hoping to go to France this summer, although I am a bit stuck with a very vaccine resistant eldest child.

Fingers crossed we get a bit of warm sunshine before too long and will feel a bit better about things.

Wishing you well.

Hoppinggreen · 10/04/2022 20:21

You’ve got 4 (5?) kids, going abroad is going to be expensive
We have a good income but couldn’t do half of what we do if there were 6 of us, it’s simple maths
Large families bring so many positives but it does mean you can’t do the same as people on similar incomes with fewer kids.

AlexaShutUp · 10/04/2022 20:25

Sadly, I think it's always going to be harder for larger families to have access to luxuries like holidays unless one or both parents are high earners. While I'm sure that the kids miss out in some ways, they probably benefit in others so it all evens out.

mumofEandE · 10/04/2022 20:27

Ok I'll bite - this is one of the reasons we didn't have more than 2 children
But I agree that UK based holidays can be ridiculously extortionate

Kangaruby · 10/04/2022 20:32

Agree with others you have 4 children, it's going to be expensive. There are pluses and negatives to having big families, try and concentrate on the pluses, a holiday abroad is not everything.

daisychainsandrainbows · 10/04/2022 20:32

A foreign holiday is not a 'basic thing' for goodness sake Hmm

I feel for you watching your family going abroad whilst you can't afford to but doing a fancy all inclusive break like your sister does would be a big financial push for most families, let alone a family as large as yours.

Feel a bit sad you can't have what others around you are having, yes. But whilst families are going to be choosing between eating and heating this year, let's not pretend that a foreign holiday is some sort of basic requirement for a family.

thebigpurpleone · 10/04/2022 20:32

Four kids is a large family, you cut your cloth accordingly.

beattieedny · 10/04/2022 20:32

Your kids are lucky to have a big, loving family. I know it's a sacrifice though, but they are lucky.

TheBermudaTriangle · 10/04/2022 20:44

@Amabish when your children were younger (eg when you just had the one or two), did you not go abroad then? We are not naive and do not want a large family due to the costs, and like PP we would prefer to give more opportunities (education and leisure) and time to two children. Ultimately, having a large family is a choice.

Original poster
Amabish · 10/04/2022 20:46

@whatth

I would absolutely love a shitty caravan holiday. This is in poor taste considering some people are cold and hungry.
Yeah. We are those people.

I've got £5.92 on my electric and haven't had the heating on in months despite it being freezing.

Hence having zero money to have ever taken them on a plane because I got seriously ill after my youngest was born and am now relying on benefits and feel like utter shit because of it.

OP posts:
Matilda1981 · 10/04/2022 20:49

I’ve got 4 girls ranging between age 10 to 2; we’ve never been abroad! Can’t remember the last time I went abroad to he honest - married to a farmer so holidays are few and far between with him coming! We bought a caravan and I go off on my own - we have a fab time!! Luckily we have friends who have caravans so sometimes it’s weekends away in fields and other times it’s a week in Norfolk by the sea - the kids absolutely love it! They don’t care where they are when they’re on a beach!!!

BurgerKingAddict · 10/04/2022 20:50

@AnyFucker

How about those French camping sites ? They look fab.
They are a great cheap holiday. Do you have a valid passport OP? Where do you live and where do you want to go? (If you don’t mind saying). If you want to go to France I have a discount code for the ferry I can PM.
MrsTerryPratchett · 10/04/2022 20:50

A foreign holiday is not a 'basic thing' for goodness sake Hmm

I think it's fairly typical to have EVER been away. Once in DC's entire childhood. Not yearly all-inclusive but camping in France is fairly basic. At least once.

I know it's not for everyone, but I'd argue it probably is for most.

Piper22 · 10/04/2022 20:50

This is in poor taste considering some people can afford to feed their families or turn their heating on.

BurgerKingAddict · 10/04/2022 20:51

Sorry I just read your latest post.

TabithaHazel · 10/04/2022 20:53

I think previous posters are right, you have the joy of a big family, whereas a lot of people have chosen to only have 1 or 2 kids so they can afford to go on foreign holidays and other financial benefits. Neither approach is right or wrong, but unless you are extremely wealthy affording a foreign holiday for 4+ kids would be a stretch for the majority anyway, even those who haven’t fallen on hard times through illness as you have.

IEatChocolateForBreakfast · 10/04/2022 20:56

As others have rightly said, you chose to have 4 children. With that commitment comes sacrifices. You need a bigger car, more hotel rooms, etc. That costs £££

We chose to stop at 2 children partly because of the logistics and costs. Plus in all honesty I don't think I could mentally handle another.

This may be a bit controversial if me to say, but I've just seen you're also not working and on benefits. Perhaps not by choice due to your illness, but still. Why would you expect to be able to go on a nice family holiday abroad with 4 children when you're not even working? My husband and I work our asses off and haven't been abroad in 3 years. Confused

Creams0da · 10/04/2022 21:01

A lot about people's holiday destinations is all for show. It's a status marker and social media content. But it's really about getting away - somewhere, anywhere - to spend quality time with your family.

I've travelled abroad a lot as an adult, but we did pretty basic caravan holidays every summer when I was younger. Mostly Norfolk, Isle of Wight and Devon. I absolutely loved it. A lot of my friends went to Disney, Florida, California, France, Spain etc. but it never really bothered me. What I do remember is that our one family holiday in Spain was terrible! The resort was grotty, we all got food poisoning, had a horrible drunk family in the chalet next door, my brother got horrendous sunburn and my dad got scammed!

MindPalace · 10/04/2022 21:01

This isn’t in poor taste - OP is entitled to express how she feels.

And she has now added that she has financial struggles too.

I hope you can go on holiday at some point OP.

confusedlots · 10/04/2022 21:03

My children are younger than yours but we've never taken them on a holiday outside the UK/Ireland. In fact this thread has just made me think about the last time I was abroad and it was 7 years ago on my honeymoon.

We could probably have afforded it, but tired and grumpy kids in the heat just never appealed. It wasn't like we would have been able to chill out by the pool all day, and doing activities/sightseeing with young kids in hot weather they're not accustomed to didn't sound like much fun.

I imagine it's something we will do in the next couple of years, but not every family has an annual holiday abroad, even if they can afford it.

duvetdayforeveryone · 10/04/2022 21:04

YANBU.

I blame weather forecasters. If only we knew when future heatwaves would take place then we could book a holiday by the beach in the UK at that exact time.

Northernsoullover · 10/04/2022 21:09

I do understand why you feel like this. I can't go either because of funds. We should have had one in 2020 too. The money went on general living. I also get green eyes when I see people's travels. Having nothing on the calendar is incredibly depressing. Before anyone says anything I know there are people worse off than me (and OP) but we are entitled to feel crap when you can't see how things will ever get better.

myceliumama · 10/04/2022 21:19

Op, it doesn't have to be £££ . We go on several holidays abroad a year. This year One of them is to Italy .We booked with Ryanair as soon as the flights came out, cost £68 each return. Then we booked a caravan with euro camp. Vacansoleil can be even cheaper. £240 for up to 8 people for a week in June. Transfers are £30 each return. There is a really good shop on site for food As well as several restaurants. Pools are lovely. Activities are free. Like a mega posh Butlins/haven.

The other (main) holiday is 2 weeks in Greece. Again booked as soon as the Ryanair flights were released. Paid by PayPal and got the option to pay in 3 instalments so that was handy. £110 each return for two weeks in august/July . The hotel is very basic self catering but is costing us £900 for 14 days. Lots of local markets and has pools , beaches and day trips close by. Were are choosing to hire a car, that's an extra £500.

Holidays done have to be very expensive and we often get holidays for less than Wet could get a a caravan in the U.K.

LynetteScavo · 10/04/2022 21:27

I don't think a holiday abroad is a basic thing. It's only on MN I see "I neeeed to fly off on a holiday"

My youngest DC have never been on a plane- I really don't think they are deprived.

They have had "shitty" caravan holidays (we really enjoy them, but we have a car). One year we could only afford a day trip to the beach but that was one of our best days ever. We had to strip off before getting the car because the heavens had opened and we were drenched through to our underwear.

Going abroad with children is over rated IMO.

I think day trips to the beach once a year, a paddling pool and some water guns during the summer holiday is the way forward for happy children. (I appreciate living in a flat makes this really tough)

LuckySantangelo35 · 10/04/2022 22:19

I think vast majority of people with 4 kids would be struggling to get them away abroad on a family holiday especially these days

Swipe left for the next trending thread