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Original poster

When you had your babies

96 replies

SuperSocks · 10/04/2022 19:03

Assuming you weren't estranged, when did you get in touch with your families to share pics/the birth story/baby's name? My brother's baby was born last night but I only know about it because my mum told me, and she hasn't seen pics or talked with them or anything. Is that normal?

OP posts:
lljkk · 11/04/2022 12:08

When we felt like it.. Which I guess was usually same day but I'd not have minded if people waited a week or 2 to tell me.

mindutopia · 11/04/2022 12:30

We were in touch with both sets of our parents within 2 hours or so (by text), but definitely expected them to then share the news with other family. I can't honestly remember being in touch with anyone else directly for the first few days. And I don't remember when we called them. Certainly wasn't the first day. I was really anaemic with my first baby and was so breathless I couldn't walk to the toilet without passing out, so definitely wouldn't have wanted to have a phone conversation with anyone. I would assume they are quite overwhelmed or potentially dealing with some health issues and are expecting the family to share any news rather than getting in touch with everyone individually.

Mumoblue · 11/04/2022 12:33

I FaceTimed my mum and my then-partner dropped a picture in the group chat, but it was really the last thing on my mind.

SleepingStandingUp · 11/04/2022 12:33

Pretty soon, no idea about actual conversation but def an early photo along with weight and were all fine.
If you're normally close I'd just put it down to being a bit overwhelmed. Text him congrats, send them all your love, say you look forward to an update on how they all are and a picture

Afonavon · 11/04/2022 12:41

DH phoned both sets of parents after a good few hours. They (the parents), then contacted our respective siblings with the news.

We didn’t feel obliged to, and certainly wouldn’t have faced any criticism by them if we’d waited longer.

Christmas21 · 11/04/2022 12:45

I sent my family whatsapp (parents and siblings) a picture of DD while I was still in the delivery room.

BookFiend4Life · 11/04/2022 13:27

I fell asleep almost immediately after giving birth, we were all exhausted. We texted a picture to say all was well the next morning because we didn't want to be texting back and forth after she was born. After texting in the morning I slept more, then called everyone when I woke up again and had washed my face. Sorry your brother and SIL's birth announcement wasn't what you hoped.

MortiaAdams · 11/04/2022 13:30

Texted when I was in labour. Then a quick text to say baby arrived to both family group chats. Then we ignored the phones and just enjoyed our baby. Did text my Mum and MIL later in the evening when we were home.

Original poster
SuperSocks · 11/04/2022 18:41

I still haven't had any contact and my mum hasn't heard anything from them today. We know he's been born, that's it. No idea if he's healthy, what state his mum is in, his weight, his name, nothing. I can fully imagine my SIL is not up for a happy chirpy chat with us about it all, but a few reassuring lines in a text from my brother would be good!

OP posts:
FormerlySpeckledyHen · 11/04/2022 18:46

Nobody knew I was in labour. Ended up with emergency C-section. Announced to parents by a phone call when I was back on the ward , simply of baby crying, no chat.
Visitors and all the details the next day .

C8H10N4O2 · 11/04/2022 20:58

@SuperSocks

I still haven't had any contact and my mum hasn't heard anything from them today. We know he's been born, that's it. No idea if he's healthy, what state his mum is in, his weight, his name, nothing. I can fully imagine my SIL is not up for a happy chirpy chat with us about it all, but a few reassuring lines in a text from my brother would be good!
But you were told the news within hours of the birth via your mother. If there had been significant problems the initial news would have mentioned it.

I genuinely do not understand the entitlement that demands every gory detail within 24 hrs of a woman giving birth. Let them get some sleep and get their heads together and share the details they wish to share when they have recovered a bit.

Dinoteeth · 12/04/2022 10:40

@SuperSocks

I still haven't had any contact and my mum hasn't heard anything from them today. We know he's been born, that's it. No idea if he's healthy, what state his mum is in, his weight, his name, nothing. I can fully imagine my SIL is not up for a happy chirpy chat with us about it all, but a few reassuring lines in a text from my brother would be good!
I actually think by this stage your mum could lift the phone to your brother and make sure all is OK. They are maybe having a traumatic time and feel nobody cares.

Communication and telephones work both ways.

CurbsideProphet · 12/04/2022 12:49

@SuperSocks

I still haven't had any contact and my mum hasn't heard anything from them today. We know he's been born, that's it. No idea if he's healthy, what state his mum is in, his weight, his name, nothing. I can fully imagine my SIL is not up for a happy chirpy chat with us about it all, but a few reassuring lines in a text from my brother would be good!
Why don't you send a text to say you've heard baby is here and you're hoping all is ok, plus offer to get them some shopping / ask if there's anything they need?
Original poster
SuperSocks · 12/04/2022 17:29

@CurbsideProphet @Dinoteeth

We've all messaged them both, my mum a couple of times.

OP posts:
LightDrizzle · 12/04/2022 17:32

DD1 was born at 3.15 am. DH phoned his parents and mine at around 7.00 am to say we were well and sex and weight.

Both sets visited briefly the next day in hospital.

Afonavon · 12/04/2022 17:44

I’m sorry, but please don’t be so needy. Birth often leaves the parents shellshocked. They might be traumatised, on strong medication, had to have followup surgery, jaundiced baby…anything really. It is their time, not yours. I would be seriously unimpressed if my family had been so selfish.

You will find out when they are ready. Be kind to them, they have their reasons. They are not in the wrong! Please never tell them that you feel like this.

Mumofloulou21 · 12/04/2022 20:36

My husband kept both his parents and mine updated throughout (I had an awful labour). He was very good at that and when LO was born he told the parents again and sent pics. Both sets of parents forwarded the messages/pics on to siblings etc. It was only after a day or two at home that I actually then spoke to other people myself. It's so full on and your knackered, so j wouldn't take offence. He knows your mum will let you know.

CorpusCallosum · 13/04/2022 10:18

You seem angry/annoyed at this lack of contact which you maybe feel is a slight towards you/your family?

Another perspective is that you have good reason to assume they are having an awful time and for whatever reason are choosing to manage this themselves rather than letting others in right now.

It's anxiety provoking for you and your family but you really need to find the maturity to respect their decision. Let your mum keep the lines of communication open through messages or a call so they are reassured their loving family is there when they're ready.... and you still need to be kind, open and patient when contact is resumed. Whatever is going on this is about a new mother, father and baby, it's not about you - don't make it so.

Minatrina · 13/04/2022 14:15

Husband texted his mum a photo maybe an hour after baby was born. I texted my best friend the next morning. That was literally it. I had other things on my mind than texting people to be perfectly honest!

Our mums told our respective families, and the news just travelled by itself really (my mum was at the birth, so no need to text her).

Minatrina · 13/04/2022 14:27

@SuperSocks

I still haven't had any contact and my mum hasn't heard anything from them today. We know he's been born, that's it. No idea if he's healthy, what state his mum is in, his weight, his name, nothing. I can fully imagine my SIL is not up for a happy chirpy chat with us about it all, but a few reassuring lines in a text from my brother would be good!
Maybe they're tired, maybe they're overwhelmed with excitement for the baby, maybe they're having an awful time for one reason or another, maybe they've not decided a name yet, maybe they simply forgot their phone chargers (I did that when I gave birth in Nov just gone!).
popandchoc · 13/04/2022 14:30

Immediate family , very shortly after birth - eg parents, siblings. Everyone else the next day.

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