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Original poster

When you had your babies

96 replies

SuperSocks · 10/04/2022 19:03

Assuming you weren't estranged, when did you get in touch with your families to share pics/the birth story/baby's name? My brother's baby was born last night but I only know about it because my mum told me, and she hasn't seen pics or talked with them or anything. Is that normal?

OP posts:

Recycledblonde · 10/04/2022 19:57

I told my sister and my Mum whilst I was still in the delivery room. DH called his parents from there too. I remember my Mum being tearfully relieved with my first as I'd been in labour so long she had convinced herself that I would be having a c-section. She couldn't believe I was well enough to talk to her directly.
My BIL called me as soon as my nephews and niece were born although I expect it was after the parents were told.
Both sets of parents came to see us in hospital which was lovely.

Jules912 · 10/04/2022 19:57

I ( well DH) told my mum and his mum pretty much straight away and they told everyone else. Pictures probably followed the next day or so.

SarahAndQuack · 10/04/2022 20:01

@Feather12

Yes, I was very lucky SarahAndQuack but I still would have let them know either way. My house was 5 minutes from the hospital so they also spent time there. I just knew I wanted to share/show off my babies immediately. I don’t know how I would have felt if things had gone wrong though, which is why that would always be my first thought if I didn’t hear anything.

YY, I think everyone expects to want to be in touch! I'm just trying to reassure the OP there really are lots of quite understandable reasons why people aren't always.

Honestly, despite the fact things were complicated with DD, the biggest challenge really was the hospital wifi/reception. In the postnatal ward I couldn't text or phone because the signal was so shit! I remember bonding with other people who were wandering all over the hospital in the desperate attempt to find a payphone.

NannyGythaOgg · 10/04/2022 20:08

My ex used the payphone in the hospital to let my parents know about an hour after the birth. (His parents diseased). Everyone else got to know as and when. I was, as was normal then, in hospital for 6 days. Most friends and family got to know once I was home.

That was in 1977

NannyGythaOgg · 10/04/2022 20:09

Pictures
Well they probably saw some 'if' they came to the christening. I think we had the first films back by then.

DarkShade · 10/04/2022 20:15

We told parents after an hour, close friends and other family the following day or the day after that. Everyone else across the following week. Honestly I did not phone around aunties and siblings, I expected my parents to pass on the news. I was busy recovering. We did invite anyone who wanted to pop in over as soon as we were home, though.

needabreak5 · 10/04/2022 20:19

I don't think it's normal not to update all those people who would be thinking of you within 12-24 hours. Within a few hours of the births we had let both our parents know. Weight etc came later as there were a few medical issues that took priority.

Thesearmsofmine · 10/04/2022 20:19

It really depends. My first birth was horrendous and I didn’t send photos and more info out until the next day as I was recovering. My second was sooner as he was born in the afternoon and was easier. My third was born after midnight and was taken away and again horrendous birth and I was busy with other thing so I took my time.

vdbfamily · 10/04/2022 20:22

My DH was dispatched to let key people know within a few minutes and parents and couple of friends visited hospital next day.

CorpusCallosum · 10/04/2022 20:23

Any length of time is normal, you have literally no idea what they're experiencing, good or bad, right now.

They have let your mum know baby is here. That's enough. Just wait now till they come to you with more and be kind when they do 🙂

CountessOfSponheim · 10/04/2022 20:29

I can't remember what we did. When SILs have had babies we've had a message a few hours later to confirm baby arrived and all well and then names announced a few days later.

WonderingWanda · 10/04/2022 20:30

I had a very long labour. I rang my Mum briefly, dh rang his parents. I couldn't move my legs for 12 hrs after the spinal block, felt like I'd been hit by a bus, couldn't shower till I could walk again hadn't eaten for two days, needed to sleep for about a week so honestly taking photo's and sending messages came a few days later because we were both so exhausted.

ThatsGoingToHurt · 10/04/2022 20:32

Yes it is normal. I was induced at 2am so when DD was born at 9am I hadn’t slept for over 24 hours. My husband rang close relatives to let them know. He knew his parents would let his brother and sister know. As I had a spinal I kept repeatedly projectile vomiting over myself every 30 minutes and spent all day having anti emetics pumped into me as I could even keep water down. Finally at 9pm I could manage to eat an ice lolly to get some fluid into myself. At gone midnight they realised they hadn’t taken the catheter out so took it out and I could finally made it to the shower and got rid of the vomit/blood/poo smell then back to bed at 2am finally to get some sleep (only 42 hours since I had slept!) had to wake a few times in the night to bf DD. At 9am I have a barrage of vile text messages from my brother because I hadn’t sent him and picture of told him DD name. We hadn’t decided on a name yet!

Indiana2021 · 10/04/2022 20:33

Birth story?? The gory details are no-one else's business to be perfectly honest. Your SIL probably doesn't relish the idea of her extended family discussing her downstairs stitches
Baby born last night, was probably in recovery for a good few hours through the night, and if she's anything like I was could currently be hallucinating with tiredness while worrying about her first bowel movement.
Your brother has maybe been tied up helping look after the baby (while she hallucinates) or dashing to the nearest Boots to buy industrial sized maternity pads or extra paper pants.
Give them a minute to breathe I reckon.

Screwcorona · 10/04/2022 20:40

Argh I think I was useless with contact. I wasn't very well at all and lost a lot of blood, after 47 hours of labour I didn't contact anyone. I think it was 2 days later before I messaged my mum dad and one of my sisters and they let everyone else know.
I felt lost, sad, afraid for my poor baby and not myself at all.

LidlMiddleLover · 10/04/2022 20:40

We each told our parents they spread the word to other family

SecondhandTable · 10/04/2022 20:43

It wouldn't be normal in me or DH's families, no. With DC1, DH rang his DB a few hours after the birth and then I rang my DPs after that. Then we both started texting some other close family/friends etc to spread the news. We were desperate to share our lovely news tbh! My siblings (who both still lived with my DPs) and DPs came to visit us on the ward a few hours later. With DC2, my DPs and siblings knew I was in labour and had gone into hospital as my DPs and DB were looking after DC1. So they were consequently the first people we told, I called them a couple of hours after the birth. And again me and DH texted other close family and friends to tell them the news. I can't imagine a nephew or niece being born and me not having spoken to my sibling within a few hours of the birth tbh but we are a close family.

fossilsmorefossils · 10/04/2022 20:45

A quick call in the middle of the night when she was about 5 hours old. I had an emergency c section and DD needed some medical help after birth so it took a while before we were all together again and of course I first wanted to hold her for a bit. We just told them that she had arrived and what her name was. The calls were very brief.

WalkingOnSonshine · 10/04/2022 20:47

I was induced so family and close friends knew. DH kept in touch with both sets of parents. Announced it by text to parents as it was early hours. FaceTimed at 6am.

When my nephews and nieces were born, I either found out through parents or in laws on group chat. The parents didn’t announce it themselves.

Allthesefolks · 10/04/2022 20:53

Within an hour or so, straightforward labours/babies ok. DH did it the first time as I was knackered. Did it myself the second time as I was fine and it’s boring waiting around for ages for the MW checks to be discharged. Provided all is well it’s pretty easy to text while holding a baby/DH is holding them!

BakedBeeeen · 10/04/2022 20:58

My DH called both sets of grandparents within an hour of the first birth, and about 4 hours with the second because it was the middle of the night. 24 hours is a really long time to have not had at least a text…

cherish123 · 10/04/2022 21:02

Pre-smart phone days but had a mobile. I called mum on my mobile 15mins after. Took a few photos but didn't send any to anyone.

ThatPosterIsSoRight · 10/04/2022 21:04

I couldn’t tell you who told who when. When DC1 was born DH and I had been awake for 48 hours. I was hallucinating with tiredness, as well as having lost lots of blood.

Don’t start reading things into the method and timing of communication!!

beck01 · 10/04/2022 21:09

Partner sent a message out to all immediate friend/family within the hour. Everyone sent well wishes and congrats, no deep convo's had until we settled on the ward and that was with my sisters.

I would be worried, hope everything is okay with your niece/nephew op x

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/04/2022 21:11

I don’t remember what or when DH told people, I was in recovery for a day, DD was poorly, we were in a haze of drugs and total confusion. We didn’t decide on a name for a couple of days. DH was exhausted, traumatised and holding DD most of the time as I was out of.

Your niece or nephew is safely here, your mum has been told, hopefully they’re all okay. That’s all that matters.

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