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I can't cope with my son anymore.

52 replies

Cak309422012 · 05/04/2022 09:14

He is 10, diagnosed with asd aged 4/5 and most likely has adhd, odd as well as anxiety and ocd traits but only diagnosed with asd. He was signed off everything once we received asd diagnosis, have attempted to refer to Camhs but keep rejecting us. We got given a support worker but she was off sick, then on annual leave, now she's left. We are meant to get a new one but not heard a thing. There is no support.

He is hard work. He is the most defiant child you could meet, won't do a thing he's told, demanding, controlling, manipulative, doesn't think of anyone but himself, thinks the whole word revolves around him. Is nasty to both me, Dp and his sister. In fact, he makes his sisters life hell. Constantly saying nasty things to her, taking things from and threatening to hurt (although he doesn't hurt her, the threat is enough to upset and scare her!). He has no value of anything, constantly demanding money, tried to play the victim in everything. I dread waking up each day, there is no let up, he doesn't sleep and I'm exhausted. I'm really concerned, he swears all the time and seems to care to much on what others are doing, rather than himself. I'm not even sure it's all down to his asd. He reminds me a huge deal of his father (not Dp). My ex is a very self centred man, very controlling and obsessed with money - exactly how DS is buy the things is his dad has had little input in his upbringing!

Ds is 11 and he can't do much for himself like get himself dressed or even make himself a drink. I really try to encourage independence but he just screams and screams.

Despite that I've portrayed my son in such a negative light he can also be very affectionate and loving. It's like a switch! Goes from one extreme to another, often in a short space of time! I don't enjoy being his parent. He's never made parenting easy.

I believe he's going to put one of us into an early grave. My blood pressure is always elevated, get no down time.

He masks pretty well at school, holds it all in all day then explodes when he gets in! To family he behaves pretty well, again all kicks off if we see family when we leave! He knows what he's doing most of the time!

I just don't know what to do or who to turn to!

I worry that it must be my parenting but my younger child is the complete total opposite of her brother despite having autistic traits and some degree of sen herself, she is the easier child!

Honestly, I'm so depressed. He's destroyed the house this morning cos he didn't want to go school, got him to school and he acts like a f**king angel like nothing had kicked off at home this morning g and I don't know where to turn to!

I feel like I don't want to be his mum anymore. He is ruining his sisters life. She is constantly terrified! 😪

OP posts:
Imitatingdory · 21/05/2023 16:03

@Lacy88 this is an old thread, you would be best starting your own, perhaps on the SN boards.

Have you had social care assessments, a carer’s assessment for you and an assessment via the disabled children’s team for DS?

If DS can’t attend school full time the LA must provide alternative education as well/instead of. Are they? Does DS have an EHCP? If not, you should request an EHCNA. If he already has an EHCP you need to request an EHCNA.

crazylady121 · 21/05/2023 18:09

I really do feel your frustration and anger.I went through this with my daughter.Didn't get the support I so desperately needed.She is now 20 and suffers with social anxiety and I and herself believe she has undiagnosed autism.We are slowly coming out the other end but it is exhausting for both of us.Keep on at Cahms and social services,get the help you need.We were so let down by the system.Keep strong.

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