Struggling to save 3-6 months salary - how did you do it?

[Lovinglife45]

I initially posted in Money Matters but thought I would get more responses in chat.

Despite having a decent household income (not high earners though), we have never been able to save 3 to 6 months salary. We save every month and transfer on pay day, however we dip into it to top up petrol and buy a food shop near pay day. We also help both parents who are struggling financially.

We have a monthly personal allowance of £120 each which covers clothes, socialising, hair and beauty. Not nearly enough!

I polish my own nails, dye my own hair, buy shaving kits, pluck my own eyebrows. I do not buy newspapers/magazines, food or drink on the go lunch at work. I rarely spend more than £30 on a pair of shoes or item of clothing. I buy non-leather shoes and only shop in sales.

Our dc attend one extra curriculum activity each.

We are constantly buying dc new clothes, shoes as they have growth spurts.

I use an Excel budget sheet and update monthly.

I stay awake most nights worrying about our lack of savings. I am also on anti-depressants for increased anxiety.

How long did it take you to save 3 to 6 months and how do you leave the savings untouched?

It sounds like you’re trying to have a lifestyle that you can’t afford.
I can’t remember the last time I bought a gift for an adult friend.
I spend £30 a make up a YEAR, every month is just mad.
I buy kids clothes on eBay and sell them on.
We manage to save £1000 a month.

Some good ideas here.
Nobody needs to spend £30 a month on make up.
Think about how many clothes you and DC actually need. I have friends who's kids have 10 pairs of pyjamas. They need 2, max. T shirt and pants will do if necessary.

You need to be clear how much you can afford to give parents. And if that's even necessary.

I don't give my friends cards and presents. I call or send a message.
It would be lovely to have money to do those things but many of us don't have it.
Do you have much food waste? You can usually save a bit there, unless you're already pared to the bone, and then you have my sympathy.
But given the 120 you're spending each, every month, you're not pared back.
It sounds like you have a lot of room for manoeuvre, if you're willing to be more cautious with your spending.
Change of attitude would help: get excited about savings!

You are spending quite a bit unnecessarily. You also need to stop subsidising your parents, hope old are they? Can they restart any kind of work?

I don't think £30 a month on make up is a lot. I'm a sahm but when I worked I wore make up everyday and got through it very quickly. Even a cheapish brand of make up, you are looking at £10 for a foundation

Thanks for your suggestions and advice.

I will certainly look at my spending habits.

I know we will soon need to tighten the reigns.

@Comedycook

I don't think £30 a month on make up is a lot. I'm a sahm but when I worked I wore make up everyday and got through it very quickly. Even a cheapish brand of make up, you are looking at £10 for a foundation

Nobody needs foundation though, it’s an easy expense to cut. It’s not a judgment on whether anyone should spend £30 a month on make up. If you’ve got that to spend - you do you. But OP is asking how she start saving… and that’s an obvious expense to challenge.

One really simple blanket rule can be to extend your "refresh" rates for purchases/usage by 50%.

If you shave legs weekly, do it every ten days. Hair dye every six weeks instead of four weeks.

Helps you plan or prioritise use of things without eliminating them.

Do you have insurance in place? Life insurance, critical illness etc?

Do you have good credit?

I would say stop stressing so much. You obviously know what you need and you aren't reckless.

If an emergency happens (which is what the 6 months income buffer is for), remember you may have some form of insurance that will cover it - life ins, home ins, critical illness.

Also, if you have decent credit, get a 0% credit card and keep it purely for emergencies - new boiler / car, whatever.

You may never have to use it, but having the credit there (especially if it's 0%) is as good as having the cash.

Do that, take the pressure of yourself, save less (a more realistic figure), and you'll get there. I would agree yoou need to reconsider the financial help to parents though.

If you are really struggling, you could also increase the term on your mortgage so you're paying less (but for longer) but from what you've posted, you are managing and I wouldn't advise that as would cost you more in the long run. BUT it's an option and should stop you stressing.

Do you really need a car? Can the children walk to school with you, for example.

We have life insurance, building and contents insurance as well as pensions.

Charity shops for most clothes especially kids (buy in advance when you find rather than look when you need them). Walk instead of bus. No car.

@Lovinglife45

We have life insurance, building and contents insurance as well as pensions.

I think you're ahead of a lot of people by dint of having insurance, pensions etc, and presumably no debt. The trick, imo, is to earn more than you spend. It does sound a lot like there is some guilt and/or pressure due to earning more than your parents. If you are genuinely attempting to just 'get ahead' it's worth getting a part time job evenings or weekend. If it can fit into your life and you see it as temporary. Amazing what you can do short term. Examples that my family over the years have done on top of a day job (I'm assuming you're not currently in a job that requires you to give absolutely everything day and night): driver for delivering takeaways, waiter, bar work, a couple of shifts a week in a care home etc. I think it's appalling that some people have to do this just to make ends meet, to be clear. But as a short term thing to save up I don't think it's all bad. Especially if that extra job prevents you going to the pub or out to dinner on a Friday for example, effectively you're saving twice by earning money and not paying out, all on the same night.