Struggling to save 3-6 months salary - how did you do it?

[Lovinglife45]

I initially posted in Money Matters but thought I would get more responses in chat.

Despite having a decent household income (not high earners though), we have never been able to save 3 to 6 months salary. We save every month and transfer on pay day, however we dip into it to top up petrol and buy a food shop near pay day. We also help both parents who are struggling financially.

We have a monthly personal allowance of £120 each which covers clothes, socialising, hair and beauty. Not nearly enough!

I polish my own nails, dye my own hair, buy shaving kits, pluck my own eyebrows. I do not buy newspapers/magazines, food or drink on the go lunch at work. I rarely spend more than £30 on a pair of shoes or item of clothing. I buy non-leather shoes and only shop in sales.

Our dc attend one extra curriculum activity each.

We are constantly buying dc new clothes, shoes as they have growth spurts.

I use an Excel budget sheet and update monthly.

I stay awake most nights worrying about our lack of savings. I am also on anti-depressants for increased anxiety.

How long did it take you to save 3 to 6 months and how do you leave the savings untouched?

Redrobin Barbara Facebook
I agree that my savings need to be kept out of reach. Yes we are clearly saving more than we can afford to.

starrynight
I would never have considered this. Pleased it has worked out for you.

Sandy
I transfer savings on pay day.

Barbara
They do not own their home and rent privately.

Ginironic
I have allowed my parents to become dependent on me. I feel I will forever owe them.

Surely you can go without any beauty treatments, clothes etc for a couple of months.

I always say I have one pair of feet so why do I need loads of shoes.

do not own their home and rent privately.

Are your parents claim all that they are entitled to? Or do they prefer to have you subsidise them and would want the 'shame' of claiming benefits.

I'd start by reviewing their budget and making sure they are claiming everything they need, in the hope that they would not need your subsidy in future.

I think you need to sit down with your parents, or get them to sit down with a benefits specialist somewhere like Citizens Advice, and make sure they're claiming everything they're entitled to. If they're retired and renting privately they may be able to claim housing benefit, for example. It sounds like you can't actually afford to give them money and while it's fair enough that you want to help them out it should be a last resort rather than every month. There is quite a good safety net for retired people (because they vote!)

Maybe your budget is unrealistic? Try going back over the last 6 months statements and see where the money is really going. I bet you are giving parents a lot more than you think. Also get onto the MSE website.

You can't afford to give money yo your parents if you are unable to afford the bare minimum savings and struggle to afford basics for your children. Your parents are adults who will be able to sort their own budgets or get help that isn't from you, they are taking from your kids. Stop, give them warning that you can't afford to help them anymore from next month.

With your extra £150, look at what your dcs will actually need for the next size up and look out for things now in sales for the future for them. Be honest with yourself about what they actually need. Park socialising for a couple of months to see if that helps save.

The obvious is to stop giving your parents money.

But your £120 each pocket money… what’s that actually going on? You say it’s not enough… but also tell us all the things you don’t spend on. So what do you buy with it?

I use the £120 to buy clothes, pay for a meal out, contribute to colleagues gifts at work, hair dye, make up, birthday cards.

So kids clothes, not sure how old they are but buy supermarket ones and use hand me downs no need to always buy new, shoes ok iagree but do they really need them that often?

Put the money half into an account you can’t touch easily and half into easy access

Stop giving your parents money, why do you need to support them? What are the outgoings they can stop to manage within their income? Are they claiming everything they are entitled to?

Workout exactly what you spend the £120 on, do you need to? Do you need to buy lots of cards? Why not get a box of blank notelets and use those?

Food shop near payday, why? Budget accordingly, so on payday I take off all DDs etc, put in an allowance for petrol to next payday, and food, savings and anything else then what’s left can be spent, and if that means you can’t help you your parents, then you can’t help them

@Lovinglife45

I use the £120 to buy clothes, pay for a meal out, contribute to colleagues gifts at work, hair dye, make up, birthday cards.

Are all of these needed every month?

The thing you have to stop is the parents contributions. Is there something cultural at play? My parents wouldn’t dream of allowing me to prop them up in they needed it, they’d make sure they were seeking all the e support they were entitled to.

Are you managing to save anything a month?

Stop paying out for your parents? if they are that short of cash, have they looked at whether they might be able to claim pension credit/ council tax reduction/ energy grants etc to help them? Contact AGE Uk for a benefit check, assuming they are in the Uk.

@Lovinglife45

I use the £120 to buy clothes, pay for a meal out, contribute to colleagues gifts at work, hair dye, make up, birthday cards.

Scale your make up right back. You don’t need it. Hair dye shouldn’t be more than £5 a month but again - do you need it? Stop the meals out for now. Birthday cards are a complete waste of money - Card Factory if you must.. No meals out for now. Children’s clothes are almost free on Facebook bundles or eBay, or car boot sales. You can barely give them away at car boots that I’ve sold at.

Colleague gift contributions can be hard to avoid. How frequent is this? If you’re in a company where this is possible, consider feedback to HR on frequency and ask that it be stopped. I worked in a large company that banned charity requests and gift collections, because there were too many and too much pressure.

Why do you need 3-6 months of salary in savings?

Instead of focusing on 6months worth of income, aim for 3 months of bills. Once you have three months of (combined) Mortgage, utilities, childcare bills, then rest.

After that, have a little think about how long it would take, at a sensible pace, to add another months bills to the savings. Slow and steady.

nostrings457 you should have this for a rainy day e.g. job loss.

Are your kids young enough to wear second hand clothes from FB or eBay? I see lots of good value bundles being offered on my local pages. Do you keep up with alerts of sales/codes and buy ahead ? For example I know that Sainsburys Tu has a sale on and some clothing (say plain T-shirts) don't go out of style so you can buy current size and future size if you see a bargain. Do you sell the clothes that they outgrow ?

chloemol
I am buying my children basics that they grow out of - school uniform, jeans, tops, underwear, Nightwear etc

Tabitha
More often than not, yes.

Herejust
You have hit the nail on the head!

Beingatwat
Yes, we save a set amount but spend at least 25% of it each month.

Coco
All it takes is for one friend to celebrate their birthday and that is £50 gone on gift and meal.

If you’re managing to save but not all that you hope for, adjust your expectations. Put 75% in an account that’s harder to access and the other 25% in your normal savings account. There if necessary but still earmarked as ‘saved’.

It sounds like you are doing it but it's taking a while. Which is the reality for most people. You can only save what you can afford to save. And it sounds like that is less than you are trying to save if you are regularly using 25% of it. So just save the 75% and adjust how long it will take to get the amount you need in savings. Otherwise you're setting yourself up to feel like a failure, when actually you are succeeding just at a slower rate than you had originally hoped.
By a tortoise not a hare, it sounds like you will get there

I stayed at home and didn't do any friends birthdays etc. I cut right back on everything, considered it a proper challenge. Got excited about achieving it rather than feeling deprived. Got a second job.

All my friends were massively supportive, and anyone who isn't, isn't your friend.

We are about to go into a massive recession. Getting a cushion, safety net is a huge priority.

Take your parents to citizens advice. You cannot help them if the shit hits the fan, if you are financially vulnerable yourself.

We have a monthly personal allowance of £120 each which covers clothes, socialising, hair and beauty. Not nearly enough!

I also value having money to myself but I'm also not worried about savings. If I was I know exactly where I could get 120 a month, and I only make around 600 each month.

If went without new clothes, socialising, hair and beauty for one month (make do with what you have, do things at home instead, no new clothes) you would have 120 that month.

The next month your husband does it and you have another 120, and so on and so forth until you have the desired amount.

One thing that salaried people do (which is the aim of the salary) is increase your living costs alongside your salary and then use up savings (or ideally credit) for emergencies and luxuries.

If you're ever in a position of a pay increase again keep your living standards the same and save the excess money.

Because you're dipping in and out of your emergency fund. No! It does not get used. If you need petrol, make so. If you need to pay for shoes, make do. Clearly define what an emergency is e.g. car repairs, hospital treatment etc. and do not touch it, however difficult it is. That's the only way it will grow. Also, don't have easy access to it. So online banking but in a separate account and don't have a debit card for it in your purse.

Relentless
Slowly but surely!

Juicejuice
I know which is why my anxiety is through the roof

Crispmudnight
I plan to save the extra I will receive after my abysmal pay rise.

Patented
Thanks for the tip.