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Original poster

Mother’s Day: Do you do cards from your DC to your mum/MiL?

66 replies

ShadowPuppets · 26/03/2022 07:22

Quick dilemma! DD is 18 months. Can’t for the life of me remember what we did last year, most of late 2020/early 2021 is a baby blur Grin

DH says it’s not the standard, that we should just do cards for our mums from us. But I’m sure when I was a kid my mum organised cards for the grannies from us. But I’m not 100%…

I know they’re in the shops but is that a recent thing to try and get you to spend more? Or is it part of the ‘tradition’?

OP posts:
DisforDarkChocolate · 26/03/2022 07:24

No, cards from children to parents only.

RoseMartha · 26/03/2022 07:24

Yes we have always done this, my dc's are teens now, they havent written it yet will be asking them to do it today.

alwayswrighty · 26/03/2022 07:27

Never done this. Grandparents day is in September, although we never did that either.

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Merrymouse · 26/03/2022 07:32

Nothing to stop you from sending a card to anyone who has had a mothering role in your life, which for many will mean grandparents, but no, this isn’t generally expected.

ComDummings · 26/03/2022 07:32

I would say don’t start it or there will always be an expectation and you’ll be the bad guy if you ever forget

CoffeeBeansGalore · 26/03/2022 07:34

All names on one card to mum.

Luckystar1 · 26/03/2022 07:35

Yes we do. Only to placate my mother as she’s a yap. She plays virtually no role in their lives but likes the status days to pretend to her friends.

AuntieStella · 26/03/2022 07:36

Yes, I take 'mothering' to be something along the whole matriarchal line, so include across the generations

Onlywomengivebirth · 26/03/2022 07:36

No. But if I did, that would be my husband’s responsibility.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 26/03/2022 07:36

No. My mum is my mum, not DS's mum.

Hopeful16 · 26/03/2022 07:37

I asked BiL and his wife what they did as was unsure and they did a whole spiel about "it's for mums" "grandparents day is in October" so I took heed and we just did our mums from us.

Got to October and sorted cards and presents for grandparents day, delivered to PiLs who looked at me confused as they had never heard of it and BiL and wife had NEVER done anything for it from their kids!!! 🙄 So we now celebrate it with them and it's an extra little job for me to sort every October! 🤷🏻‍♀️

burnthur5t · 26/03/2022 07:37

No, just cards to the child's actual mother

2anddone · 26/03/2022 07:38

No absolutely not mum looks after them once in a blue moon and therefore thinks she has raised them herself Hmmonly my name goes in the card she is my mum (luckily for them) not theirs!

Hopeful16 · 26/03/2022 07:39

Also had a huge moan at DH (pre kids) as he didn't put my name on his mum's card saying that she wasn't my mother. True BUT I was the one who'd bought the bloody thing!!! He has ever since 😉

HMG107 · 26/03/2022 07:39

I agree it’s about celebrating loved ones who have a mothering role.

My little girl goes to her Mama’s every Saturday and has a card and present for her. She 2.5 and despite living 5 minutes away has never spent any alone time with Granny as she isn’t interested, so my LO won’t be making a special effort for her.

Awrite · 26/03/2022 07:39

Nope, never have. Didn't as a child either.

In saying that, I think my sil does one for my Mum from my neice. Her family traditions, not ours.

So, it may be that your Mum is expecting one but your mil isn't.

So much headspace given to things that men simply don't give a care in the world about ...

HardbackWriter · 26/03/2022 07:40

We do, because we always sent them to my grandmothers when I was a child. DH also thinks it's a bit weird/unnecessary but I didn't want to do it for one grandmother and not the other and MIL seems to love it. Making cards for people is one of DS1's favourite activities so he likes it too!

MissMarpleRocks · 26/03/2022 07:40

Yes their grandparents are important role models (for our families) so yes. And it keeps them happy.

They are getting them late this year though as I’ve got covid & the cards will be delivered late. They stay up for months anyway so no matter they get them later!

HelloDulling · 26/03/2022 07:41

Yes. I always did as a child in the 70s/80s, and my teens do now.

ItWasntMyFault · 26/03/2022 07:45

No - the card is only ever signed by me as she's my mother

findingsomeone · 26/03/2022 07:45

No, not the done thing for our grandparents. Our parents do nothing for DD either so it's not something I'm going to start either.

chiangmai · 26/03/2022 07:46

Never- i send my own mum a card from me and my DH sends on to his mum.

DFOD · 26/03/2022 07:47

Never heard of this - though heard a radio add encouraging people to buy Mother’s Day gifts for anyone / everyone who had ever played a maternal role in their lives!

saraclara · 26/03/2022 08:20

@Hopeful16

Also had a huge moan at DH (pre kids) as he didn't put my name on his mum's card saying that she wasn't my mother. True BUT I was the one who'd bought the bloody thing!!! He has ever since 😉
I've never heard of a spouse putting their name in a mother's day card and much as I'm fond of my sons in law I'd find it weird and a bit intrusive if they did. Mothers day is about celebrating actual motherhood and what your mother's done for you since birth.

I can't imagine what mumsnet would think of a husband who insisted that his name be put on his wife's carrs to her mother. That's just weird.

Let him buy his own card if you think buying it for him entitles you to make your MIL's card from him a bit weird.

MissMarpleRocks · 26/03/2022 08:27

I write dhs name in my mum’s card. He does the same for MIL. I love MIL dearly. I call her mum.

When she goes she’ll leave a massive hole in my life, the same as when my FIL died. My name is going on that card.

Dh feels the same about my parents.

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