If you have ADHD or ASD and are thriving at work, what do you do?

[TR888]

My DD11 is currently being assessed. I suspect she has inattentive ADHD because she's so disorganised, but it could also be ASD.

I worry about her. She's only young and obviously she lives at home and has our family to support her. But what will happen when she starts working? She's so messy... I have no idea what job could be good for her.

I sometimes read great stories about neuro diverse mumsnetters who love their jobs and are doing well for themselves. I need those stories now and any advice you can give me !

Thanks x

ADHD here, I have always worked with kids in various capacities. Over the years I've realised that I thrive outdoors and in something with mixed responsibilities and learning involved, some elements being regular, others unexpected. Also having a couple of different jobs at once worked well for me so I don't get bored so quickly.

I am currently out of work due to my child's recurrent illness issues, but planning to start an outdoor group for kids and applying for a playworker position for a local charity at weekends (whilst husband can have kids) for something new to learn about.

I guess when I said ‘not the obvious choice’ I meant more from the outside looking in. I don’t really talk about my struggles much because my son has severe ADHD, which poses challenges in every aspect of his life. I know I have the right to the same diagnosis but it feels uncomfortable to me to make it a big deal when I’m living the kind of life that o suspect my son will never have (there are other things going on with the ADHD). People who don’t have direct experience think of people with ADHD as being chaotic and disorganised and therefore might think a job like mine wouldn’t suit a loved one they’re trying to support, iyswim. I don’t think my methods are conventional and my clients would be horrified if they knew how much I have to write down on a big list and how scattered my mind is. But that’s a benefit that looks like a stumbling block. Hard to explain

@TheLoupGarou

I know a lot of doctors that are neurodiverse 👍

I have wondered this.

@S0upertrooper

My adult son was diagnosed at 26, I was diagnosed at 54, both ADHD. We both struggled to focus before medication but he's a successful architect and I am finally managing to complete my gazillion half finished sewing projects. Medication has changed my life from feeling inadequate to achieving.

What medication are you on? (If you don't mind me asking). I would love to see what difference in made to my life.

This is such a positive threats! Thank you very much for your replies ❤️❤️.

I've heard medication can be a game changer for people with ADHD. How common is it for children to get it prescribed though, is it your usual postcode lottery?

I suspect I might have ADHD myself. I'm not sure I'd gain anything from a diagnosis, except that I could qualify for medication? I'd definitely give it a go, but I wonder if doctors will think I need it as I have a job and I'm doing other stuff reasonably well. I do find I struggle with focus more and more, though.

Hi Op I have adhd. If you met me through work you could think I'm very successful. I've achieved a lot in a very competitive industry. I've probably achieved what many people will never achieve...but if you know me well I think you would see the other side.

I have lost so many jobs. I have never managed to stick at a job properly. I am good with very tight deadlines and working under pressure but can't cope with anything complex or long term. I have really struggled at ever focusing properly on one role so people I think all around me are now earning a lot more or in senior roles while I'm still freelance.

All I can say is I wish I had been diagnosed as a child it would have helped.

I don't have any diagnosis, but I was steered into museum curation partly because I very much like(d) collecting sets of objects, lining them up, researching them and then telling people about them in great depth. That turns out to only be a very small amount of the job unless you are a single-subject curator in a national museum though, and it involves a lot of direct interaction with people, so don't make that assumption! :-)

Teacher with ADHD here. I thrive at my job but it is all consuming. Subsequently the rest of my life is somewhat disorganised and somewhat chaotic.
I can’t keep on top of daily laundry, regular hoovering/ gardening/ food shopping etc but I can spend hours creating resources for lessons. I know other people don’t understand this but my brain can focus on things I’m interested in with little capacity to do stuff I am uninterested in.
I need to work part time really as I think I’m at risk of burnout but this is difficult financially.

OP, DD was diagnosed with ADHD at 8 and offered medication straight away. It is the first port of call, seemingly.
Definitely a game changer for her - she’s 18 now, got fantastic GCSE results, and is hoping to go to a good uni. When she was diagnosed at 8, she could barely read and couldn’t write her name the same way twice.

I had an interesting chat with a health professional who specialises in ADHD this week, regarding diagnosis as an adult. She said that it wasn’t simply a case of ticking boxes; the major consideration was what level of distress the condition was causing someone. Medication is all they can offer, but if someone has ADHD but managing their work abs home life well, they would question what was to be gained by taking meds.

I have ADHD and I suspect autism for various reasons.
I’m very successful as a continual improvement specialist in engineering. Lots of different projects on the go, tons of presenting and q&a’s which allow me to get some energy out, different people and activities every day.
The downside is I’m a bit of a job hopper, after a few years I’m bored of the same role, and I can overpromise when I get excited by something. Both manageable though. I’m considering contracting to ease the hopping, and I track my workload carefully to avoid burnout and over committing.

I'm autistic, ADHD, and dyspraxic. I had a rough time at school due to bullying and unsupportive teachers, some of whom insisted I was bright but lazy and others who thought I couldn't do much (and even accused me of cheating when I surpassed their low expectations!). I ended up missing all of Year 8 because of mental health difficulties that probably wouldn't have arisen if I'd been given help earlier. Like your son, I'm very forgetful and disorganised, and the state of my house reflects that. My partner (also autistic, but thankfully the hyper-organised sort) found some potatoes I'd been out to buy at the foot of our bed the other day. I can't think why I put them there but I'm sure it made sense at the time!

I did a PhD and spent several years in academia, which played to my strengths - the stereotype of the absent-minded, eccentric professor exists for a reason! When I had an occupational health assessment before starting a new lectureship, the nurse advisor listened to my description of my difficulties and said cheerfully, "So you're another academic, then." I've had various other jobs over the years, including teaching in a special school and being a healthcare assistant in A&E. Having supportive colleagues and knowing your strengths as well as your weaknesses is the key thing. My A&E experiences gave me the courage to apply for medical school, and that's where I'm headed in September.

My partner is a software engineer. I have friends with autism, ADHD, and related conditions in academia, various healthcare professions, games development, horticulture, music (playing for weddings mainly), lorry driving, and farming. One is even an undertaker. Your son will find his niche.

@gingerhills

What medication are you on? (If you don't mind me asking). I would love to see what difference in made to my life.

I know you weren't asking me but I'm on 50mg of Elvanse a day. The first time I took it (I started on 30mg), I cried on and off all day my head was quiet for the first time and it was so startling and overwhelming, I got really emotional.

I've been on medication for almost 4 months and sometimes I feel like I'm used to it and it's not doing anything significant. Then occasionally I'll wake up too late to take it (usually a Sunday) and I'm a hot mess all day, dissociating and falling asleep on the sofa at 3pm

I have balanced out so I no longer feel like it turns me into a different person, it just feels like the volume has been turned down and I can focus on a single task. I still find it shocking that I can think to myself "I need a shower" and then... just go for a shower right then. I'm still scatty and forgetful but I can get through a dull task with minimal distraction now, whereas it would be so impossible before, I just wouldn't do it.

@blueshoes

Anyone in the creative field?

I am. (Suspected ADD)

I struggle though, I'm self-employed and although I'm talented I find it so so hard to get started on a task. Once I'm interested I find it very hard to stop, but I'm not necessarily producing my best creative work then.
I've have other employment too (also in the creative field) where the work is much more mundane and directed. I'm bloody amazing at that job, but it's not well paid and I can't do it FT as it gets too boring and I end up very frustrated, plus it's fairly social and I need lots of days in the week where I work alone otherwise I get burn out.
I would love to try meds because my own SE work is very lucrative if I can get it right and work consistently, I'm hoping the meds will help me unlock my potential.

I thought I read somewhere that only 20% of people diagnosed with ASD have employment?

@SweetPeasAreMadeOfThis I would say for both friends it is attention to detail (minuscule things I think a lot of people would miss), thinking outside the “norm” and absolute passion for their work.

They are both individuals who get given the complex cases/the ones which no one can get to the bottom of.

[quote amusedbush]@gingerhills

What medication are you on? (If you don't mind me asking). I would love to see what difference in made to my life.

I know you weren't asking me but I'm on 50mg of Elvanse a day. The first time I took it (I started on 30mg), I cried on and off all day my head was quiet for the first time and it was so startling and overwhelming, I got really emotional.

I've been on medication for almost 4 months and sometimes I feel like I'm used to it and it's not doing anything significant. Then occasionally I'll wake up too late to take it (usually a Sunday) and I'm a hot mess all day, dissociating and falling asleep on the sofa at 3pm

I have balanced out so I no longer feel like it turns me into a different person, it just feels like the volume has been turned down and I can focus on a single task. I still find it shocking that I can think to myself "I need a shower" and then... just go for a shower right then. I'm still scatty and forgetful but I can get through a dull task with minimal distraction now, whereas it would be so impossible before, I just wouldn't do it.[/quote]
I worry that if I took medication I'd lose some of the benefits of my ADHD. Can the people who do use medication enlighten me. I like thinking of 12 things at once, handling risk and things coming at me all at once, thinking far out of the box, being snappy and quick, and the wanderlust.

Does medication dull those traits? I can handle the messy house, scattered thinking, inability to focus unless it's hyper, undone jobs, half-finished everything and the horrible panic at the chaos I create to have those.

My boss is also happy to deal with my times of inability for my abilities. When I knock out work in a fraction of the time, I know she knows I can't sustain that but if you average me, I'm better than someone NT in my role.

Fundraiser. Charity sector is quite understanding of ND issues. I think it may be attractive for people who don't think they fit the mould. You can do anything with ADHD in truth. But its finding what you are good at and enjoy.

Ask yourself - is what the bulk of this job involves something I love and am good at?

There are lots of hacks if you have ADHD. I am quite minimalist as otherwise clutter goes everywhere. I also subscribe to Gousto as I am 80% better focused when I eat well and regularly but my job is full on so I am too exhausted to plan meals. I think you can mitigate a lot of the negative ADHD effects without medication. Although medication can certainly help.

99pronouns, thanks for sharing your experience. It sounds like you have used your talents well and have a good balance between food-on-the-table work and more enjoyable and lucrative freelancing work.

My dd (disorganised, suspected inattentive ADHD) is pursuing a digital animation course at uni. Freelancing seems to figure a lot in the creative field and I am not sure she is organised enough to go out there to get the work and then to deliver it to spec and deadlines.

Do you have any tips or coping strategies for a career? Dh and I have no idea about the creative field.

"It really suits my need to want to dive in and learn every single thing about something new and then by the time my interest has waned, I get a new project."

^ This is exactly why I love my job too. Lots of fast paced chatting to experts and meetings all day long on 6-7 multiple projects all at different stages.

I'm officially 'in IT' and have been since mid 1990s but don't identify as a technical person but as a facilitator and orchestrator between business teams with money to spend on IT to solve business problems and deep techie experts who know the latest in their fields of data, infrastructure, cyber security etc.

My official job title is solution architect but was a business analyst before and it's a similar role in huge organisations.

My son has severe ADHD (was medicated in school) and is performing very well in sales. He ditched A-levels after a few weeks as had never completed a piece of homework in his school career and went into a Business Administration apprenticeship aged 16 then took a role as a sales administrator which he was dreadful at as needed to be organised but saw what the sales folks did and decided to apply for retail technology sales which he got and loves.

Hope this helps.

@MrsTerryPratchett

I only take meds when I really need to get things done. I have the same worry as you do. Many of my strengths stem from how my brain works and my ability to pull things together from multiple perspectives, make sense of it all, and act on it. I excel at specific tasks under pressure and can produce great work in a quarter of the time as most people.

But there are a couple specific work tasks I can't do. Annual written reports, revisions of papers etc. I need meds when those tasks come up and I a up against a deadline and it is boring arduous task that needs to be done.

I also use it sometimes for a few days just to get everything done in life and around the house.

The effects of the meds are subtle in that I don't feel I am any different - life just gets a lot easier and things gets started and finished. That is partly why I worry as I can't really tell if I think the same or not!

Thanks @Midlifemusings I wonder if I should pursue it.

Ask yourself - is what the bulk of this job involves something I love and am good at?

What works for me in my current role is that it’s a kind of expert internal consultancy. So I dip in and out of things, carry out analyses (that take advantage of my ways of looking at things and skills) but I don’t have to take responsibility for the final delivery of things. That means I can often avoid the bits of stuff I’m dreadful at.

My team are great too, so people recognise that I’m not the best person for getting the final details right for a paper or proofreading (I am awful at proofreading). Other people are excellent at this but don’t necessarily have the same strengths I have elsewhere. So we all try to work together in ways that play to our strengths and collectively get things done.

This is a super interesting thread.

I have no diagnosis, but definitely have a smorgasbord of traits across dyspraxia, ASD and ADD. I'm not sure if I'd qualify for a diagnosis but I have a lot of techniques in place which help me manage both at work and at home. Until I started reading about these ND conditions I didn't even really think about them as coping techniques but I do think that's what they are.

At home I have a cleaner who comes once a week. I wasn't that bad at cleaning but I'm terribly disorganised at home and my house used to get incredibly untidy. Having someone come once a week gives me a deadline to work to to get the house into a fairly decent state. People always expect me to be a tidy, organised person but I'm actually incredibly untidy and disorganised (both at work and in life) with a lot of coping techniques.

I excel at work but that is in a significant part due to my work's preparedness to allow me to play to my strengths. I am an accountant but I don't do any routine reporting work so my weeks and days vary a lot. I need a new challenge regularly and work want to keep me so they do facilitate that even when it's inconvenient for them. I'm really bad at doing stuff that is routine but I'm great in a crisis - like @MrsTerryPratchett I can burn bright but it's brief - you have about 6-8 weeks max before I'm burnt out and exhausted and need to recover. I can see both the detail of a situation and the big picture at the same time and see the levers to pull to give the outcome you want which is something I realise now that lots of people find difficult. I definitely think that being selective in the jobs your daughter applies when it gets to that point for will be essential - I can really see how in another environment I could really struggle but my work accept me being a bit of a strange lady in return for the positives.

Apologies if it's an overstep as I don't have a diagnosis but I do find I share various similar traits.

@blueshoes
I have a small creative business and have worked freelance in my area of specialism for my day job, too. My people-pleasing and the fact that I'm very motivated by money kick in when I have a customer deadline looming.

The worst thing for me was going through small claims to try to get an invoice paid, I just couldn't get my head around the system (even though it is easy to navigate, I just thought it was badly-organised and my brain somehow just won't engage with inefficient systems) and ended up missing the court date and never found out the outcome, despite phoning and emailing to follow up. I certainly didn't get my money.

One of my closest friends is a freelance designer and really struggles with some aspects of his ADHD, he would absolutely benefit from a VA to chase his invoices and keep him on task. We do try and act as accountability partners for each other and message back and forth through the day to see what we're working on, which really helps us through the boring bits.

My dh is asd, works in financial sector. Doesn't love it but really understands it and is doing well.

@ClockBusCanada I’m a lawyer and I don’t think it’s an easy system for a non-lawyer. The language of court orders is not for lay people, “file and serve documents” - that actually means send one copy to court and one copy to the other side. There are rules on service (by email etc and dates). It is virtually impossible to speak to anyone. If you do you’ll be referred to CAB. Judges are being trained on “vulnerable participants” so the hope is things will improve, but as always there is no money.