If you have ADHD or ASD and are thriving at work, what do you do?

[TR888]

My DD11 is currently being assessed. I suspect she has inattentive ADHD because she's so disorganised, but it could also be ASD.

I worry about her. She's only young and obviously she lives at home and has our family to support her. But what will happen when she starts working? She's so messy... I have no idea what job could be good for her.

I sometimes read great stories about neuro diverse mumsnetters who love their jobs and are doing well for themselves. I need those stories now and any advice you can give me !

Thanks x

@Anglophobia

Recent research suggests there is anywhere from a 50% to 80% comorbidity between ASD and ADHD. The traits are distinct though, with little overlap. They are similar but different enough to have separate diagnostic criteria. The spectrum also doesn't have "ends", it's more like a circle with everyone having different strengths and support needs

Also a massive overlap with dyspraxia which I also almost certainly have, as does DD

Definitely, though there is still a widespread lack of understanding about what dyspraxia even is, or at least the full extent of what it impacts upon. In my post upthread I confirmed that I have all three (plus dyslexia) so there is a lot of overlap.

I was actually diagnosed with dyspraxia first, though I knew I was autistic for about ten years before I was diagnosed. I spoke with a friend who has worked with ND children and adults for 20 years and she said that, in her experience, nobody is "just" dyspraxic - they are invariably diagnosed with something else later.

Asd - veterinary nurse

The Arts. Especially comedy. Comedy is riddled with people with ADHD - being able to make fast connections between different subjects and find the funny is a requirement.

I work in improvement science - bit of research (chatting and writing), bit of training delivery (chatting and facilitating), bit of project management (just enough planning and structure) and giving some specialised advice, but overall helping people see how they can benefit from the mistakes they or their company make - perfect ADHD combo for me, anyway. I've done this self-employed and employed, self-employed worked marginally better but with a good team around me I absolutely thrive.

I have autism and run my own successful dog walking and pet care business

ADHD and a social science teacher. Classroom based work is reactive and immediate enough to keep me on Mt toes, deadlines are quick and pressured enough to keep me working and the usual mundane tasks are there for times when I'm overloaded or overwhelmed.

My best lessons are planned under pressure. Taught an excellent lesson this week, planned in 20 mins with some printing then running out to lunch duty.

Also, nothing keeps you on your feet like the questions kids come out with!

Almost certainly have ADHD, DS4 currently on pathway for dx, DS2 dyspraxic, DS3 dyslexic and most likely ASD, DS4 also dyslexic. I think I am also most likely dyslexic and dyspraxic.
I am v senior nurse managing ED and Acute medicine. Have been happiest as senior ED nurse and on CCOT with ever changing environment being completely reactive. Only ever perform under pressure abs deliver my best when highly pressured.

Does my head right in.

Like another person said, LOADS of people in technology are neurodiverse, increasingly people are more open about it too.

For me, medication has changed my life though. Before kids, I was able to function on little sleep and doing everything under pressure at the last minute - at work I thrived though I was quite disorganised and scatty in my private life. Then with the extra challenges of kids and family illness I found that keeping it all afloat was so hard. When one of my DCs was going through diagnosis I realised that so many of the questions applied to me - I got a diagnosis myself, went on medication and it has hugely improved my life. I'm working less but getting more done with more focus, and being more organised has helped my finances, house and slightly to my surprise also my friendships, I think I'm more in the moment sometimes, and will do more organising of things and staying in touch. Still a different energy to someone typical, but increasingly that feels like a strength not a double edged sword.

My DC isn't medicated at this point and I hope they won't need to be, but if so will be open to it, because looking back I think my life would have been better for it. Thought I'd add that, in case it's something you're weighing up.

@TheLoupGarou

I know a lot of doctors that are neurodiverse 👍

Can you share more? How odes their neurodiversity benefit and impact on their work as medics?

does

@MelCat

As another poster says, with neurodiversity focus on your strengths and passions. Don’t go into an area which causes you stress.

I have 2 friends who have autism who are both doctors, one is pathologist and one a radiologist. Both phenomenal at their jobs.

I’m a barrister, I have a phenomenal memory, pick up on tiny details, but also have dyslexia. So have gone into an area which is not too heavy on documents.

The most important thing is making sure if she goes into a job she has adjustments. Is aware of burnout (a problem for a lot of neurodiverse people, we mask until we crash).

What makes your friends suited for these particular jobs?

@TR888

Thanks for this post - I have a 10yo Dyspraxic (poss other stuff) and I do worry about what will suit her in the future.

I must admit though these posts make me wonder about myself - I completely relate to alot of the comments!

Adhd husband = very successful software developer

Asd wife = executive / directors PA

I’m an event planner/project manager awaiting an ADHD diagnosis that I think is a bit of a foregone conclusion. Not the obvious choice for an ADHDer but I am surprisingly good at it and I think it suits my type of mind. The immovable deadlines and the lack of anywhere to hide if things aren’t done are what I need to be productive. My difficulty with focus and detail means I check, double check and check again and therefore I tend to be less likely to make errors than my NT colleagues. I’ve seen it said that ADHDers are good in a crisis (something about dopamine) and that’s certainly true for me - I find getting a project across the finish line really exhilarating. I thrive on the fact that things in my industry rarely go to plan and require a lot of thinking on your feet and adaptability - lots of people hate it but I find it exciting and I’m really good at it. I put that down to my ADHD brain. I worked in a corporate environment for a while and in hindsight I hated all of the meetings and policies and found it difficult to focus or care. Working for myself is where I’m happiest.

DD has ADD she is a high flying city lawyer, she earns a phenomenal salary and loves the fast paced high stakes, as soon as one deal is done its on to the next.

She really has to be very disciplined with her work re organisation but she has a schedule/calendar on her phone and devices to keep her on task. Consequently it has resulted in her flat being chaotic as she expends all her energy at work and is messy. I visit every couple of months and do a big clean and sort out to help her.

DS has dyspraxia, he is at university studying computer science. His organisation is dire. Every four weeks I go to clean his flat, do a food shop and take him for a Sunday roast.

Both DC's are messy and have anxiety and depression so can get overwhelmed when their living environment gets chaotic. I know ultimately they need to learn to have a degree of organisation in their home life.

At the moment what I do helps them and makes their lives a bit easier. Both have made great progress in their mental wellbeing so I'm happy to keep supporting them this way as long as they find it helps.

Interestingly they also both have aphantasia so are unable to form mental images of things. When they move to new place neither can imagine décor or furniture so don't know how to make somewhere homely or to their taste. I usually show them pictures of things and ask if they like it or go shopping with them to show them things that compliment each other.

My other son, who has ASD is working towards a career in either computer programming or policing ((detective/investigative). He has a brilliantly logical mind and sees patterns in everything. He is impossible to lie to. He has real clarity of vision in a way ND people don't, because they are drawn into social masking.
Our local police force has just launched a ND recruitment program and I can see it working for him.

My adult son was diagnosed at 26, I was diagnosed at 54, both ADHD. We both struggled to focus before medication but he's a successful architect and I am finally managing to complete my gazillion half finished sewing projects. Medication has changed my life from feeling inadequate to achieving.

Tinymrscollings i’m an event planner/project manager awaiting an ADHD diagnosis that I think is a bit of a foregone conclusion. Not the obvious choice for an ADHDer
That's not true actually. Many women with adhd have excellent overcompensating skills so when in a situation where we need to be super organised sometimes we can be. My perceptive skills are great. It's made me a brilliant lawyer because I just have a great instinct and can read people very well.

Anyone in the creative field?

@Newnormal99 I was told by a paediatrician (who has ASD) that lots of parents start down the journey with “I think my child maybe neurodiverse” and by the end it’s a family of neurodiverse people.

There’s nothing like completing a few questionnaires for your kids and thinking, “oh my kid doesn’t do that…but I do”.

The good thing nowadays is more children are being appropriately diagnosed. I think back to my school days and there were several children labelled naughty, odd, weird who clearly were neurodiverse.

With the right support neurodiverse individuals can succeed, particularly if they aren’t having the pressure of having to mask.

@MelCat

Definately - to me her Dad seems to be a classic case of adult ADHD if you look at symptoms. I also suspect if my sister was young now she would be diagnosed Autistic. I seem to score in the range as well
On the questionnaire you often see online. Tbh the fact my sister and her dad aren't in the best places MH wise as adults is why I push to much for my dd to get the support she needs to ensure it doesn't affect her later.

I work with a young person who has ADHD. I have actually known her since she was In Primary school. She is lovely. Hard working, kind and fun. I had thought she was a little scatty but apart from that hadn't noticed anything unusual about her. She told me yesterday that she is at the severe end of ADHD and bad started on medication when she was in y10. The medication really changed her life.

ADHD here.

I'm in L&D, planning, designing and facilitating a variety of training tools in a corporate setting. Tight deadlines are my jam.

I work from home at present, and use a standing desk. I'm about to move into a different org with hybrid working patterns and am hoping I can cope in an office. I've been wfh for years. Messy desk, listen to music and podcasts in the day, dance around when I need to, etc. Not sure how I'll adjust, but I'm going in full throttle and will be asking for accommodations from the start.

Oh, and I used to say I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up, because everything is interesting. Now I can research a topic, consult with an SME, create the solution, and move on. Suits me perfectly.

Speech therapist.
There seems to be a lot of ND people in this industry. I’m still disorganised but I’ve developed methods to overcome most of my issues.