Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

The hospital just called...

185 replies

greenwayer · 25/03/2022 03:06

My mom is 69 and has been in hospital for 10 weeks, she went in with slurred speech and a slight infection and confusion. In that time they have not found what is causing her symptoms, she's had every test going several times. About 2 weeks into her stay hospital called me at 1.30am to say she had deteriorated and they were considering DNR. Luckily she pulled through but hasn't really got much better. She now regular has times where she's more conscious or less conscious. 10 weeks in bed has took its toll. The hospital decided to send her to rehab at another hospital, I was surprised because of her condition but have to trust their judgment. Apparently she went there yesterday afternoon.

The hospital just called to tell me she's back in hospital and completely unresponsive with a GCS of 3. They wanted to let me know where she was. Now I'm wide awake and don't know what to think. I don't have anyone in the real world to speak to at this hour. So I'm talking to you guys.

It's been a nightmare situation because they haven't allowed visitors because of Covid, I live 200miles away and when I call it's difficult to get information, I'm lucky if they actually answer the phone and it took 9 weeks to even track down her neurologist. She told me a couple of days ago that she was fit for discharge. Fit for rehab. They could find no cause for her symptoms. She has 'sleepy' times and 'chatty' times. That is all I know.

I don't know if she is actually worse now or just in a 'sleepy' time and the staff aren't used to her or if this is further deterioration and I should be seriously worried. The lack of information is crazy.

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 25/03/2022 05:59

Do you have a car as that should only be a 4hr odd drive? What age are your kids and do you have a partner that could work around the kids for a few days. Alternatively, if you have kids do you have family around where your mum is in care that they could look after them for a few hours for a few days while you go in to the hospital?

Volterra · 25/03/2022 06:08

Having had an early morning call earlier this year and asking if I would make it in time and being told ‘I hope so’ then having to drive 100 miles I recommend going up later this morning. I get how you feel a bit desensitised at this point and I’m so sorry for what you are going through. 💐

Zonder · 25/03/2022 06:11

OP you need to go. Unless you're home alone with dependent children I hope you've already gone. I'm so sorry. It must be really tough but I hope you're already on your way.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General health
Darbs76 · 25/03/2022 06:19

I’d get in the car first thing this morning and go. It sounds as serious as it can get. Ask for a doctor to call you if you’d like some assurance that she’s genuinely unconscious and not just sleepy.

GeneLovesJezebel · 25/03/2022 06:26

You need to go now, if you haven’t already 🤞🏻

gunnersgold · 25/03/2022 06:27

Hope you get to see her !

MRex · 25/03/2022 06:38

I'm sorry this is all so difficult. I hope you can get there to see her. It's worth pushing to see her neurologist in person to understand her current state and whether her epilepsy is contributing to her current state, suspected strokes or anything else. Take good care of yourself.

overnightangel · 25/03/2022 06:39

Can you visit? It’s 200 miles but it’s been 10 weeks. I’d have been turning up wanting answers about 9 weeks and 6 days ago

Beseen22 · 25/03/2022 06:43

Have the admitting hospital called you at all or just the rehab hospital? If I'm honest with a GCS of 3 I would be making my way there now. I wouldn't have imagined anywhere I've worked over covid (4 trusts) would be denying you entry in these circumstances and I'm quite disgusted that you haven't been able to see her in all this time. I really hope there's a cause found and she recovers well but if I was looking after her with that condition I would have phoned you to come in.

Hell0G00dbye · 25/03/2022 06:44

If she remains GCS of 3 they will need to intubate her and take her to ICU. I would ring again, check her condition then travel to visit. Can you wfh remotely at her house for a week or take some time off work? I presume you’ve been in the last 10 weeks at some point so what was said?

olympicsrock · 25/03/2022 06:45

Another person saying that this is very worrying. If her GCS is three she cannot protect her airway and should be in intensive care unless there is a clear decision not to escalate care . It sounds like this has been decided…
I also think you should go and see her asap.

VeryMuchFlaggingMinty · 25/03/2022 06:46

@Karwomannghia

Have you not seen her in person in 10 weeks? You need to go there- you could stay at her house.
With the best willnin the world, my dad was in and out of consciousness, sometimes to this level, over several months before he passed away with 'frailty'.

Making the OP feel bad if she's not visited when she hasn't known what's going on isn't at all helpful.

@greenwayer if you're on your way, or even calling them, you need to push for them to be brutally honest with you. If they feel it's likely she won't recover (the DNR makes me wonder) they absolutely should be allowing you to visit, daily if necessary/practical.

I hope you get some answers today, take care of yourself too Flowers.

glittereyelash · 25/03/2022 06:47

This sounds very similar to my mams symptoms when she had a brain tumour. The hospital were dragging their heels, evading answers but I just came out and said I know my mother is dying I just want enough pain medication so we can bring her home to die in peace. They eventually told my dad after he waited outside for 12 hours and phoned every hour. I know your situation may be different but when my mams score was at 3 she was very near the end of her life. I'm so sorry this is happenening and I know it's very scary and confusing. I think you need to go there and demand to see her consultant.

Izzy24 · 25/03/2022 06:51

So sad and sorry to read this OP and can only reiterate what others have said about being there in person. 💐

Original poster
greenwayer · 25/03/2022 06:55

I've just called the hospital, 45min until someone answers and then 10min on hold to speak to the nurse.

She said mom has started coming around a bit, responding when they call her name. I asked for a current GCS she said 4 or 5, I don't have much confidence in their assessment. She was probably just tired.

OP posts:
AchillesPoirot · 25/03/2022 06:59
Flowers
Annette32123 · 25/03/2022 07:00

Could she be post-ictal after a bad unwitnessed seizure? Could all this be a deterioration in her epilepsy control?

username9871028 · 25/03/2022 07:02

With a GCS of 3 I would’ve getting ready to get down there asap. Flowers

username9871028 · 25/03/2022 07:02

would be *

Planetbippop · 25/03/2022 07:03

@greenwayer

I've just called the hospital, 45min until someone answers and then 10min on hold to speak to the nurse.

She said mom has started coming around a bit, responding when they call her name. I asked for a current GCS she said 4 or 5, I don't have much confidence in their assessment. She was probably just tired.

I'm not sure why you are so focused on the GCS. Regardless of 3, 4, 5, she's still seriously well. You need to speak to the Consultant or someone senior to the Nurse looking after your mother. If you don't feel able to have that conversation, can someone else do it on your behalf?
MRex · 25/03/2022 07:03

@greenwayer

I've just called the hospital, 45min until someone answers and then 10min on hold to speak to the nurse.

She said mom has started coming around a bit, responding when they call her name. I asked for a current GCS she said 4 or 5, I don't have much confidence in their assessment. She was probably just tired.

What are you going to do next, have you asked for the neurologist to call you? Will you visit?
FannylovesDick · 25/03/2022 07:05

Being tired does not give you a gcs of 3 OP. Being unconscious is not the same as being asleep. Sorry.
Are you able to make arrangements to visit her?

berksandbeyond · 25/03/2022 07:05

In the nicest way, do you have a difficult relationship with your mother? I find it hard to believe you haven’t visited in this time. And I say that as someone who lives 400 miles away from family so I understand distance is a barrier.

username9871028 · 25/03/2022 07:06

@greenwayer

I've just called the hospital, 45min until someone answers and then 10min on hold to speak to the nurse.

She said mom has started coming around a bit, responding when they call her name. I asked for a current GCS she said 4 or 5, I don't have much confidence in their assessment. She was probably just tired.

Anything below 8 is considered very serious. If you have a car and are able to, I would get down there.
wossgoinon · 25/03/2022 07:07

My mum died last Friday. She went in for an X-ray 2 weeks ago and found cancer in lungs, kidneys and stomach. One day she was sitting up and ready to live with me and a day later she deteriorated fast. We were allowed to visit due to the situation. My brother, daughter and I were there when she passed. If you can, please get to hospital