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Original poster

Taking kids to parents evening

93 replies

bigyellowTpot · 22/03/2022 20:30

Just that really, Do you take your kids to parents evening? I never have but now my year 9 dd is adamant she wants to come to parents evening next week as she wants to know what her teachers are going to say about her. I have said no as teachers may not feel comfortable talking openly about her while she is present. she is now not happy as all her friends are going with their parents apparently. I don't care and she's still not going but do other MNetters take their dc along??

OP posts:
winterchills · 22/03/2022 21:26

Ohhh this is interesting as I always thought they would prefer for the children not to be there too!

troppibambini6 · 22/03/2022 21:40

For us it's Y10 onwards that children can attend.

PugInTheHouse · 22/03/2022 22:04

Not in primary but in secondary if they want to. Specifically in y10/11 as its important they hear what the teacher is saying.

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Lulu1919 · 22/03/2022 22:12

Primary no but after that yes it was expected

SeasonFinale · 22/03/2022 22:15

Another area where here in secondary school onwards the student is expected to attend and even participate in the conversation.

AHungryCaterpillar · 22/03/2022 22:20

Yes I’m a single parent so all of my kids have to attend each appointment otherwise I wouldn’t be able to go.

Kite22 · 22/03/2022 22:22

The pupils have been expected to be at Parents' Evening with us since at least my eldest was in Yr7, back in 2008 - it certainly wasn't new then.

In truth, it is helpful to have them help you get to the right teachers, as they will have so many, across all the subjects, and I should imagine it is helpful for the teachers who have to try and remember who each child is, especially folk like music and RE who might teach hundreds of pupils each week for not many lessons. Remember it is a completely different situation from Primary school where a single teach teaches them for 4.5 days a week and knows each child well.

FreezyFreezy · 22/03/2022 22:23

No, we've always left our dc at home.

Eyesofdisarray · 22/03/2022 22:25

Never took mine along, preferred not to.
Parents who did take their kids always ended up taking longer, shortening appointment time for those of us that didn't

LoganberryJam · 22/03/2022 22:26

Ours attend because the school expects it, I would prefer they didn't.

Eyesofdisarray · 22/03/2022 22:27

At secondary school, teachers have a sheet with the kids' photos on to assist them 😀

RoseMartha · 22/03/2022 22:35

Yes mostly had to as my then h would not have dc or wld be working.

Now its online ones, dc go to their room

bruffin · 22/03/2022 22:37

DCs Primary ran a crèche for all DC and siblings while seeing teacher, however when my younger DC got to yr 6 they wanted my yr 6 to attend.
In secondary school they were supposed to attend.
Even back in 70s we went to secondary parents evening

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 22/03/2022 22:40

Secondary school dc1 attends asks for them to be with you. Primary school my younger 4 attend ask you not to bring them if possible/ have them sit outside the classroom if not.

Original poster
bigyellowTpot · 22/03/2022 22:41

@BathTangle No no guidance was given by the school I just received a letter to make an appointment no mention of pupils attending. I will call school tomorrow to see what they would prefer. I honestly thought teachers would prefer them not to be there as was the case in her primary and that's why it was called parents evening. I'm glad I asked now as don't want to turn up without her if school would like her to be there too. Perhaps it is a good thing as she can also discuss things with her teachers which she doesn't usually get the chance to do during the busy school day and without her friends around etc.

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 22/03/2022 22:43

DS has been to all Secondary school parents’ evenings. Would come with us for Primary ones but sit outside classroom but from KS2 they would normally call him in to join in with the chat. Now they are virtual he tries to avoid the camera but let the teacher know he is there!

Original poster
bigyellowTpot · 22/03/2022 22:49

@winterchills me too, I thought they'd prefer the pupils not to be there too as was the case when dd was in primary. I'm glad I asked now as she's my first one to go to high school. I will phone school tomorrow to see what they would prefer. Why do schools not give us more guidance about these things.

OP posts:
Toomanypeople · 22/03/2022 22:51

I've always taken DC, the meeting is about them and it's nice to hear when they are doing well and where they need to improve. In senior school they are given the chance to ask questions as well

Rupertgrintismyguiltypleasure · 22/03/2022 22:55

I didn’t until last year. Ours was done virtual today so dd9 joined me on the chat with her teacher whom she loves, she’s had her before in year 1, but I think it’s better for the kids to hear where they need improving, especially in our case she listens to her teacher more than me lol.

Jamboree01 · 23/03/2022 02:36

[quote bigyellowTpot]@winterchills me too, I thought they'd prefer the pupils not to be there too as was the case when dd was in primary. I'm glad I asked now as she's my first one to go to high school. I will phone school tomorrow to see what they would prefer. Why do schools not give us more guidance about these things.[/quote]
Because most leave the choice up to the parents/ carers/ guardians… and also understand that some parents will be rushing from work, or caring for children, elderly relatives, or having to juggle a billion other things. It’s not down to schools to make every decision for parents. If your child wants to go, and you are in a position to take them, I don’t understand what the issue is tbh.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 23/03/2022 06:11

My Yr6 was expected at hers last week. Her sister came too, but sar at the back of the classroom with a book.

I'll probably have to do the same next year at Secondary school unless one of her grandparents can visit... which is why virtual is a good thing for many people.

Fedupsotired · 23/03/2022 06:19

@mizzo at my children's school the are specifically asked to come by the teachers. It's so important that they are there, I feel quite sad for your children to miss out on it.

Thegreymethod · 23/03/2022 06:57

Ours are expected to be there during parents evening in high school, we're still having teams parents evening and pupils are asked to be there during the calls, in primary they can be there but don't have to be.

MrsHamlet · 23/03/2022 06:58

There's absolutely nothing I would say to a parent that the child doesn't already know. There really shouldn't be any surprises at parents' evening.

cptartapp · 23/03/2022 07:11

Mine are 19 and 17 now but never ever took them to parents' evening. Most people didn't.