Taking kids to parents evening

[bigyellowTpot]

Just that really, Do you take your kids to parents evening? I never have but now my year 9 dd is adamant she wants to come to parents evening next week as she wants to know what her teachers are going to say about her. I have said no as teachers may not feel comfortable talking openly about her while she is present. she is now not happy as all her friends are going with their parents apparently. I don't care and she's still not going but do other MNetters take their dc along??

I've never taken a child (aside from a newborn) to parents evening in 19 years of having DC at school.
The clue is in the name as far as I'm concerned.
In primary school it's never been mentioned, in secondary a couple of teachers asked if DC were there, we asked if we were expected to bring them but we were told it was up to us.

Yes as a teacher I would expect the child to be there and if not, would wonder why not. A few parents apologize and explain they have football practice or whatever, which is fine.

At primary taking children was actively discouraged. At secondary school it was encouraged

I have said no as teachers may not feel comfortable talking openly about her while she is present.

By year 9 if there's anything teachers think she needs to improve on or be doing differently, they will absolutely expect her to be there, listening and taking it on board. They will actually include her in the conversation, not just talk to you.

High school kids usually attened with the parents round here. Some teachers don't engage with the child much , others use it as an opportunity to talk more directly to their students about their work and options etc with their parent present. Primary is different alot of children attened 50% sit in 50% sit in the corridor.

If she is approaching gcse definitely take her!!

Secondary teacher here too, would also expect her to attend.
I have no issue speaking freely in front of a pupil

I never have done, but it seems that nowadays it is almost expected, especially at secondary. At the last parents' evening for dd in year 11, all the teachers expressed surprise that dd wasn't there (she didn't want to come). I didn't see any other parents there without children.

DS attended parents evening this year (virtual so sat beside me) for the first time ever, he’s in year 7. I’ve never taken my DC in primary, always go either before collecting them or when DH has finished work so he can watch them. It just didn’t seem appropriate to take them in primary school and wasn’t really the done thing. It seems more commonplace in secondary school and a few teachers said they were glad DS was present, one teacher said she preferred it when the child was there. I know I always attended my secondary school ones but don’t remember going at primary school.

Ex primary. How odd to hear otherwise, every school I've worked at it was preferred that the pupil came in with the parent(s).

I have said no as teachers may not feel comfortable talking openly about her while she is present.
I had one nervous young teacher at parents evening in year 9 who actually talked to DS the whole time! I'm only in my thirties and not that scary.

Ours it’s compulsory for them to attend at secondary age. The teachers give them targets to write down and tips for further reading or websites to improve on certain areas etc.

Our school usually run a 'creche' you can leave them in but year 6 child went with me this time as her teacher said they should.

Prirmary was a big no, children had to wait in the playground or library.

Secondary - they are explicitly asked to come and teacher will address the children and are brutally honest in front of the parents.

As a teacher I prefer when pupils come, I often have students with identical or very similar names so much easier to work out which parents belong to whom if they are there. I also prefer to say “x is not trying his best in lessons and could definitely focus more, isn’t that right x” as it avoids the going home and x saying it’s not true!

DS always attended parents' evening at Secondary school - all the pupils did. He's 25 now so it's not a new thing. With 1400 pupils in school I guess it helped the teachers know who they were talking about.

She should definately be attending

Former teacher here, and 99.9% of students come with the parents.

I never attended a parent's evening as a child and I remember being shocked that one of my friend's parents stopped attending it once they were over 16, their argument we were old enough to work we were old enough to get direct feedback from our teachers rather than via our parents.

I don't have babysitters so have always taken the children, at primary they weren't part of the conversation but at secondary they are clearly expected to attend (we've had parents meetings during the school day and the kids come to them).

Not at primary school, but expected to be there at secondary. When I attended with my son, they would usually start by asking him how he thought he was doing, before telling us what they thought.
At secondary school, teachers can be quite blunt and tell children if they are not putting in the effort/coasting/arsing about in class, whereas in primary, teachers have to be a bit more circumspect in what they say if the children are there.

My DD (9 turning 10) was expected to be present at hers this year. Last year, they had a choice, DD attended hers, DS refused! I think it's a good thing that they get to state how they think they're doing, how the teachers think they're doing. They can raise issues in the class with your support which they might not otherwise be brave enough to mention. Set aims for the rest of the year. It gives them a sense of responsibility for their education.

Did the school not give any guidance on this? Ours specifies that the students should attend with parents (also Y9).

My daughters' primary had two per year - one at which the children were expected to be present and the other to be attended by parents only.

Teacher here. Prefer it when children don't attend. I want to talk frankly about their child with other adults who care about them.

I have said no as teachers may not feel comfortable talking openly about her while she is present.

On the contrary, she needs to be there so that she hears directly from the teachers how she is doing and what she needs to work on, particularly if there are things she needs to improve on.