unintentional self mutilation

[nuttybiscuit]

I am so embarrassed to write this, but would dearly love some advice. Not sure which topic to post in either, as it isn't really medical as such, but isn't quite style and beauty!

Always been a nail biter. My dad was as a child but grew out of it (is it genetic!!??) Everyone tried to help me stop as a child but I nibbled away reghardless. No big deal, i wasn't troubled or unwell, and only nipped at the nail tops. They were stubby and a bit crap, but ok.

Roll on to last two years ( i am middle aged now) and something bizarre has taken over. I have some fairly basic stress in life, but nothing quite explains this to me. I seem to have begun to chew at the actual SKIN above my nails. Initially i thought 'oh dear god what an idiot'. but later found that I can't quite stop it. I nibble unconsciously when watching films, reading, using the net. My fingertips are literally in a state. I have managed to bite at them, peeling bits of skin off and creating a wound. I put plasters and antiseptic on, it heals, and then i do it all over again - all ten of the buggers too.

I am sat here with elastoplast and germoline, finding it hard to type. I am also a painter so this is a serious drawback and the pain is ridiculous. Today I was in Next looking at pyjamas and one of the wounds burst open and i bled all down my arm after having it raised. Thankfully nothing went onto the product!

I am so ashamed of this and have no idea why it happens. It is like a terrible habit, and the compulsion to nibble comes from the healing, hard skin, which must be irresistible to ignore. If i can catch myself doing it i can often stop, but only sometimes....agggh!

My fingers look like hell. Red raw and full of cuts. I am so, so fed up of it, not to mention concerned.

Any tips?
Apologies for being so gross.

Every time you want to do it massage some Germolene in right then, before you've hurt yourself. Also, some nice-smelling hand cream when it begins to heal a bit. Leave the tubes in your lap so you can't forget.

I've done similar with skin that has become dry from years of wearing a cycle mask. I massage the germolene in, and sometimes moisturiser, every time I get the urge to scratch or pick at it. It's a case of replacing a bad habit with a good one. It has helped.

That sounds so painful. Would it help to use a moisturiser with a really strong perfume? The smell would mean you’d be more likely to catch yourself and if not, it would taste pretty foul. And the moisturiser would help the skin to soften so it would take the temptation away eventually. Maybe a fidget toy would give you something else to do with your fingers.

Dermatophagia - it’s a side effect of my OCD but can be a standalone issue. Have a bit of a Google, there are some really good strategies out there but it helps to understand what’s behind it.

thanks so much!

DP told me to keep plasters on them whenever i am idle until the habit drops. However, this only serves to get in the way of typing, preparing food and washing hands.
I would put germoline on them when idle but what about my keyboard? My books, and my art? It is so bloody tricky!

The perfume might be a very good idea!

I do it to my inside lip. Will be reading for any strategies that don’t involve germolene as I’d better not eat that.

I’m getting a mouth guard made. Honestly, might that stop you too?

My first thought is mental health. It could be a form of very very mild self harm. I skin pick when I'm stressed or anxious or depressed. I find it calming. It heals then i get stressed and i start all over again.

I have a friend who has got round this by having acrylic nails. You don’t have to have the massive talons that are all over Instagram - just neat to the ends of your fingers.

What about using hand sanitiser. I've inadvertently put my fingers in mouth after using that and it's bloody disgusting.

Or the stop and grow nail polish. You could paint some of that on every morning but then both those things will probably sting along of the skin is broken.

What about some really thin breathable gloves?

Thanks again!

Ive tried false nails, i just bite the skin above them :(

Am looking at link mentioned, will read more.

I wonder why i would develop this now, it was during covid and i have felt very trapped, fed up, but not sure why i would do this. I am not trapped any more so the habit is formed.

@Thatsplentyjack

What about using hand sanitiser. I've inadvertently put my fingers in mouth after using that and it's bloody disgusting.

oh. man i do that a lot and it STINGS!

Something like this

@Thatsplentyjack

What about some really thin breathable gloves?

I have the spondex ones when cooking as the cuts hurt when using lemon, salt, etc they are slim fit but still really baggy, would be interested in tiny ones for tiny hands.

Darn I wrote a long post and it didn't take so lost it all.... long story short, I have had the same problem for years!! Only fix for me is painting my nails once a week and really taking time to do it properly - at least two colour coats and two clear top coats. Good luck! It's so annoying.

I do this too OP. Have done all my life.

The only things that have ever stopped me are being in places abroad where I'm afraid of putting my fingers in my mouth because of germs. Instantly stopped chewing my fingers.

The other thing that has stopped me is getting my nails done - having thicker gel nails which I'm proud of has been enough to remind me not to do it.

Having said that, I'm currently in a relapse, and my fingers are covered in scabs and open sores again.

Get the pots you dip your fingers into to prevent nail biting? Tastes disgusting and will coat your entire fingertip

I do this, and scratch my head raw. But the solution I found was false nails, it stops the biting and the scratching, doesn't make sense but worked for me. I haven't got them on currently (long story) and I'm struggling big time, I'm getting new ones Wednesday

I have been reading about dermatophagia, seems there's no cure!

Advice seems to oddly be aimed at preserving nails, but my nails arent the issue now. No matter hoe many coats of polish i could put on the false nails, it wont stop me biting the skin around them.

I keep having light bulb moments and steeling myself to resist but it fails.

I have tried to identify 'triggers' but there dont seem to be any. It is so very easy to do it.

This is a mental health condition, op, lots of people do it. As a pp said its linked to anxiety, OCD or similar. Have a look at the mind website.

Can you speak to your gp?

You could try that foul tasting stop and grow nail varnish they sell for nail biters, paint a little onto your cuticles and above as well.

As well as addressing the root cause, I think a lot of management of the condition comes down to recognising when you're doing it, what's triggered the compulsion, and finding a distraction.

My DD does this too. She has OCD and this is the way it manifests in her. She used to bite her nails but now nibbles her skin. She doesn't actually feel stressed whilst she's doing it. As you have said, it started in lockdown and just became a habit I think. I remind her she's doing it when I see (she's not even aware what she's doing) and she stops but often starts again a minute later.

Sorry, not much help but solidarity. In the past, using nail varnish has helped with the nails but doesn't seem to help now she's nibbling skin.

Can you wear a face mask? Either you'd forget then your fingers would hit the mask or you'd have to pull it down, both would stop the absent minded nibbling as there's a step in the way.

I used to do it so they cracked down and would hurt! Have managed to stop at the moment

I have no answers but I do this too. I bite nails and rag at my skin till it bleeds. Then pick at the hard skin while it heals. I have sensitive skin and keeping it moisturised helps a lot as it stops the tempting little flakes and tags.

I occasionally manage to get them healed then relapse. I hate it - I've never had decent nails and they are too damaged to grow strong now.

If I paint them I chew the varnish off too.

I hear you on the skin Vs nails front. I have been in the position of having good nails and still iting the skin but, whilst not foolproof, I do find the mental discipline of spending time filing and painting my nails is pretty successful. I also sometimes file the skin lightly if dry bits are in danger of being bitten. At first I needed to have a nail file with me at all times so whenever the urge to bite came upon me, I'd tidy up my nails / skin instead.