unintentional self mutilation

[nuttybiscuit]

I am so embarrassed to write this, but would dearly love some advice. Not sure which topic to post in either, as it isn't really medical as such, but isn't quite style and beauty!

Always been a nail biter. My dad was as a child but grew out of it (is it genetic!!??) Everyone tried to help me stop as a child but I nibbled away reghardless. No big deal, i wasn't troubled or unwell, and only nipped at the nail tops. They were stubby and a bit crap, but ok.

Roll on to last two years ( i am middle aged now) and something bizarre has taken over. I have some fairly basic stress in life, but nothing quite explains this to me. I seem to have begun to chew at the actual SKIN above my nails. Initially i thought 'oh dear god what an idiot'. but later found that I can't quite stop it. I nibble unconsciously when watching films, reading, using the net. My fingertips are literally in a state. I have managed to bite at them, peeling bits of skin off and creating a wound. I put plasters and antiseptic on, it heals, and then i do it all over again - all ten of the buggers too.

I am sat here with elastoplast and germoline, finding it hard to type. I am also a painter so this is a serious drawback and the pain is ridiculous. Today I was in Next looking at pyjamas and one of the wounds burst open and i bled all down my arm after having it raised. Thankfully nothing went onto the product!

I am so ashamed of this and have no idea why it happens. It is like a terrible habit, and the compulsion to nibble comes from the healing, hard skin, which must be irresistible to ignore. If i can catch myself doing it i can often stop, but only sometimes....agggh!

My fingers look like hell. Red raw and full of cuts. I am so, so fed up of it, not to mention concerned.

Any tips?
Apologies for being so gross.

I have OCD and I used to do this. I now have LONG acrylic nails. I can’t physically get to the skin above it. To the side a little but it’s awkward and still gets in the way and acts like a barrier.

I do this as does my Dd. Acrylic or gel nails sort it out.

Meant to add that neither of us is particularly stressed or unhappy. It's just a habit. We. It's keep the false nails quite short- it's simply having the thicker coating in the nails that makes biting and skin picking impossible.

Completely off the wall suggestion I’ve seen recommended is to wear an elastic band around your wrist when you go to nibble your fingers/nails stop and ping the band. Apparently this can retrain the impulse.

I went down an Etsy wormhole today, and by pure coincidence came across these. Not sure how practical they would be to type with.

tinyurl.com/2p8sztad

You need a fiddle ring! Check out Etsy - they have small moveable parts to twiddle.

Try chewing gum or a mouthguard. I have invisalign and I can't chew my nails with them in because they smooth and blunt the cutting edges of the teeth, but I can still talk, drink etc.

The hidden post, in case it doesn't get unhidden, was probably because I made a tinyurl out of a big link. I'll paste the original.

I came across these purely by chance whilst in an Etsy wormhole. Thought they looked pretty cool, but the seller is suggesting they're good for preventing nail biting as well. Not sure how easy it would be to type in them.

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/239803913/small-claw-rings-nail-jewellery-nail?click_key=0dc5d727fc657d96b21fe3543c59ae0cf8fd919e%3A239803913&click_sum=92c0b029&ref=user_profile&bes=1

Hi OP. You need to do something that a) makes it difficult to do and b) draws it to your attention in the moment in order to break the habit. So things like plasters, gloves, painting your skin with that bitter nail varnish.

Maybe also try chewing gum or getting something like a stress ball or elastics around the wrists. Anything else that you can twiddle, play with or chew, while you break the habit.

This is helpful and addresses some of the things you’ve raised, @nuttybiscuit:

www.blurtitout.org/2021/03/25/skin-picking-hair-pulling-lesser-known-symptoms-anxiety/

Habit reversal therapy/training can work well for body-focused repetitive behaviours. Personally had good success with it (for a different BFRB).

I did this a month ago just idly chewing while working and before I knew it the whole nail came off. My dad and brother do the same. It's still growing out, I've got about a quarter of the nail back, but any snaggy or hard bit and I'm chewing it again.

A few years ago I managed to stop biting completely using an app. Basically you were allowed to chew your nails, but every time you did you had to open the app, log that you'd done it, and also say what you were doing at the time to help establish patterns that trigger the biting. After a few days, my hand would go to my mouth and I would think, argh, if I chew then I'll have to faff about with the app and I can't be bothered, and would just not bite them. My nails were lovely! Then I changed phones and haven't been able to find the app again!! it was so simple and effective. Maybe I should do it manually with a notebook!

Have you tried an elastic band on your wrist?
Each time you catch yourself biting ping it so it stings but doesn’t cause a wound if that makes sense?
If you do this every single time it starts to make your mind notice it more just before your about to nibble. This then enables you to try and not do it.

You can also buy thinks like an anxiety ring that you can fiddle with so that your hands feel like they are doing something.

I solve this by keeping a cuticle cutters to hand. I snip off any snaggy bits before I can pull them and tear the skin deeply. I also use a fine pumice stone around my finger nails in the bath so there is no build up of dry skin. This sounds harsh but works brilliantly. I moisturise and then there is nothing dry or rough to pick. I also get gel nails as the thickness of my nail makes it hard to pick or damage the skin around them, the nails are just too blunt to be used as picking tools. You would never know I did this now. Good luck op.

@Myrrhine46

This company makes gloves to order. They take your hand measurements and tailor make them.

kidsfingersandthumbs.co.uk/products/3finger-glove-dermatillomania-trichotillomania

I also agree that gel nails are another really good way to avoid the picking/biting.

😮😮😮

I had no idea something like this existed!

I've been hairpulling, skin picking, lip biting, and gouging myself since 11 years old. The inside of my cheeks are now covered in ulcers Following this thread with interest.

I do this too. I go through phases where I manage to stop eg I made myself stop in the run up to my wedding

As others have said the thing that helps is using lots of hand cream or vaseline all round the nails because it's when there is dry skin it's easiest to nibble at it.

I do this too, but with the skin on the inside of my ears problem is I know ots really bad but I actually enjoy it. Sometimes I don't even know I'm doing it

I've realised that I am actually a massive fidgeter and I think its an extention of having idle hands, particularly if I'm having to read something in depth at work. I now have a collection of fidget toys at my desk, and in the evenings I channel it into knitting, which I can do whilst watching TV.

I need to keep my fingers bust otherwise I'll start Skin picking!

I do this too. I started on Citalopram for anxiety, and despite being a nail biter since I was a toddler somehow I have stopped since taking medication for anxiety.

Me too - nail biting, finger skin picking and biting, pulling off toenails, pulling skin off my feet, until hands and feet are painful and bloody. Sometimes OK for a while then I relapse. Right now I have one fingernail I’ve chewed off almost to the bottom. I’m watching this thread with interest because I’ve tried a lot of the strategies PPs have mentioned and none of them have worked.

Hi OP - fellow nail biter here. I was always out of control with nail biting since childhood and nothing could break the habit.

A few years ago I sought therapy for a different challenge in my life, and it turns out, I have high functioning anxiety. And nail biting is a core characteristic of anxiety disorders.

Cognitive-behavior therapy helped with my anxiety, and my nail biting significantly decreased. I also developed a number of strategies to manage my anxiety ongoing, in particular, is journalling as soon as I notice I'm biting again, working through what is my trigger, and doing deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, chew gum so I can't bite, etc.

I'm more of a picker than a biter, but much of what you say resonates for me.

Try not to be angry with yourself for doing this. When you look at your fingers and express disgust or disappointment, you increase your stress and it becomes a vicious cycle. Try forgiving yourself. If you go to bite and stop yourself, even if only for one finger or for one hour, be happy for your achievement. You could try kissing your fingers when they touch your lips.

Divert your attention and have substitutes available, such as chewlery or fiddle toys. I doodle during meetings and often take unnecessary notes. In my down time I knit or crochet to keep my hands busy and safe.

I tried the bitter stuff to help me stop, but the taste lingers so badly that it made not biting equally unpleasant to biting. I wish there was a non-lingering version.

I have an allergy that causes the skin around my nails to split and peel. When it flares up, my picking follows. There is so much soreness and sensory feedback that it's incredibly difficult to leave my fingers alone, and then the habit re-establishes itself. Keeping my hands clean and moisturised, so that the skin does not break down in the first place, really helps. Moisturising fingers during the day can be a challenge if you don't have a break from using them. Sometimes I slather my hands at bedtime with the richest moisturiser, and put thin cotton gloves on over night. The difference in the morning is amazing.

When my fingers are inflamed I apply 1% hydrocortisone ointment to try and heal them before the discomfort triggers me and I fall back into the cycle.