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Original poster

Do you know anyone who went missing?

423 replies

FuckThatBullshit · 20/03/2022 18:01

Inspired by another poster and it's an internet rabbit hole I regularly go down because I find missing people stories fascinating and spooky and obviously very sad. Do you know anyone who just... vanished?

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 21/03/2022 01:31

A friend in High School. She was living in a local 'girl's home' and had been in foster care before that. She was allowed to go 'home' to visit with her foster mother for a week, and whilst she was there she disappeared. It's presumed that she ran away as she'd done it before. Her foster mother sent me a letter a few months later asking me if Deb had contacted me and included a picture of her for me to keep. She told me that if Deb ever came back she would let me know.

To my knowledge she never came back.

Hawkins001 · 21/03/2022 01:34

No, thankfully, although I do sometimes wonder, what if

expat101 · 21/03/2022 02:31

Someone who lived in our village. Not a nice person at all, body never found but it was presumed it was drug and gang related.

His family never cleared out his house of his belongings and it was left up to the new purchaser. Rumour has it that drugs had been buried in the garden but she never found them if true.

They also had to change their driveway about for more privacy as there were bikies turning up to ''look''.

InSuburbia2 · 21/03/2022 02:45

Meidid Good on you for making the decision to leave, it's not easy is it? I know, because I also made the same decision. As expected I have namechanged.

Back story 20 years ago DD went missing, totally out of character, no argument etc she just vanished and police would not take a missing persons report because she was married so I was no longer next of kin.

A few weeks ago (some might say I am a glutton for punishment but I am her mother and still worry) police had a media appeal for missing people or their families and they found her but I was bullied and shouted at by the police because I was harassing (their words not mine). At least I know she is alive and well IF they found the right person, but they did repeat some dates and information that was totally incorrect so maybe it wasn't her and now I will never know.

Over the years family and friends have blamed me, saying I didn't care because I was not searching enough but the reality is they don't know where or what my searches involved and their interference made things worse when I was trying to reconcile.

One night I accidentally walked into a drug deal and was chased on foot through the streets until I gave them the slip and was able to get back to my car and drive off at speed with no lights. Tell me that was not caring about my DD? My heart was jumping out of my chest and I truly feared for my life, still do not know how I was able to run and stay ahead of them. That was big time scary, the whole drug scene is foreign to me.

I got fed up with being blamed for her disappearance when I myself still did not know why? So I took a leaf out of her book and went missing myself solely to escape the constant barrage of questions and blame.

I thought long and hard about this decision and in the end it was the only thing I could do to get some peace and quiet because I was still hurting over my DD and nobody cared.

I too have compartmentalised my life it is the only way and to those people suggesting a phone call to someone to pass the message to family, with respect, you don't have a clue about the repercussions and what problems that could cause. We are better to keep our heads down, stay off SM and don't divulge your real identity to anyone.

Lastly, like Meidid I am enjoying my freedom now too and I hope anyone else considering this option knows there are good times ahead and just do what is right for YOU.

Flowers to all the missing among us.

Jesusmaryjosephandtheweedon · 21/03/2022 04:25

She left due to abuse. They deserve to be left in limbo. And op said she does have children now and is protecting them by keeping quiet.

FrenchFancie · 21/03/2022 04:31

Yes a friend went missing while out running on a Greek island. She body was located a week later but during that week we didn’t know what had happened to her and it was a very difficult time. As it turned out she had died almost instantly which was better than some of the scenarios we had been imagining but still incredibly hard…

Maxiemoo10 · 21/03/2022 05:09

Not directly, but I saw a neighbour had a window cleaner out once and thought oh I need to get his number, so wrote it down as it was on his van and forgot all about it, few weeks went past and I decided to text it to make an appt. got no reply so called a few times and always went right to voicemail so moved on and found someone else.

About a month later I get police knocking at my door asking if I knew him, I couldnt place the name so said no I dont know that name, they then told me they had call logs from my phone to his and it suddenly clicked so I explained why id been in touch with him - turns out his wife had asked him for a divorce and he'd disappeared into thin air after going for a walk, I had to make a statement to explain I was just looking for a window cleaner, thats all.

I still google his name now and then to see if there was ever anything found and so far he is still missing.

twinsetandpearl · 21/03/2022 05:27

There is a website called the Charley project which lists hundreds/thousands of missing people since the turn of the century - you can get lost for hours reading the stories of those that went missing etc

One will always stick in my mind of 3 young brothers pre 1920 I think that went out to play and never came home

itstrue · 21/03/2022 05:58

I know two found missing people.

A school friend discovered as an adult that she had been abducted as a small child by her father and had been relocated to another country far away.

And I had a flat mate who I only discovered years later that he had escaped from prison (but believed to have been murdered by other man he had escaped with). He had set himself a whole new life before being spotted many years later in a night club by an off duty policeman.

southlondoner02 · 21/03/2022 06:21

I worked with numerous women who were 'missing' when I worked in refuges. The majority were women at risk of so called 'honour' based abuse and their families had reported them missing to the police. The police were generally really good at spotting what was going on. We'd often let the police know the woman had fled to stop them inadvertently looking for her.

I would never share a missing poster on social media unless it came from the police as know it could be an abusive family trying to track someone down.

I think people don't understand the lengths that abusers go to to track down their family member, including things like getting messages to them that a beloved grandparent was seriously ill and other things to tug at the heart strings. Plus the use of bounty hunters in some cases. People in this situation really have to completely cut off.

WeCouldBeSpearows · 21/03/2022 06:53

My brother went missing for a few years. Turned out he had been sleeping rough in a city 500 miles from us

He's now doing well at university.

Hyenaormeercat · 21/03/2022 06:53

Both DHs father and my father went missing. DHs went missing in 1950. Only found out after he died a couple of years ago that he went abroad and started a new life.
My father went to work one day in 1969, never saw him again. DM went looking for him, his business was closed up and no sign of him. I presume he did the same.

WeCouldBeSpearows · 21/03/2022 06:59

I wish people would stop telling Meidid to try to find a way to contact people.

Nobody here knows their history, nobody here knows what the potential consequences would be. They didn't come here looking for advice, and actually it's pretty bloody amazing that they shared their story in the circumstances.

I think it's a huge deal that people like Meidid and Insuburbia2 have shared their reasons behind going missing. Let's just appreciate that.

Polyanthus2 · 21/03/2022 07:02

DH knew a couple in the 1970s who decided to motorbike cross country to Nepal - disappeared somewhere in the mountains . Never seen again.

hellcatspangle · 21/03/2022 07:03

Friend of mine went missing when we were late teens. Due to the fact that she'd packed a bag (so clearly done a runner) the police weren't interested.

Nobody heard from her for about 18 months (it was before the days of mobile phones/internet) then one day she just turned up home as if nothing had happened. She had just got on a bus and gone to live/work in a seaside town.

CIaireFraser · 21/03/2022 07:04

@WeCouldBeSpearows

I wish people would stop telling Meidid to try to find a way to contact people.

Nobody here knows their history, nobody here knows what the potential consequences would be. They didn't come here looking for advice, and actually it's pretty bloody amazing that they shared their story in the circumstances.

I think it's a huge deal that people like Meidid and Insuburbia2 have shared their reasons behind going missing. Let's just appreciate that.

I agree.

Since my brother went missing I've turned over in my head almost daily what his reasons might have been. As I said his life was very chaotic and I know he was involved with some very unsavoury people. Perhaps he was running away from them. Perhaps he thought that by coming to live with me he was putting me on their radar too. Perhaps he needed to start a completely new life away from all his past ties.

I would give anything to know he's safe but, particularly as time has gone on, I have to respect his decision to disappear. And that for whatever reason, he feels he can't get in touch with me (I'm his only family).

I like to imagine him living somewhere with a family of his own, happy, and that's the thought that keeps me going. Anything else, I just don't entertain.

Polyanthus2 · 21/03/2022 07:09

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lightand · 21/03/2022 07:09

Yes, my auntie.
Disappeared for 18 months.
Reappeared when she wanted to.
Had been a live in person for someone. Only about 20 miles from where she was living at the time.

OnaBegonia · 21/03/2022 07:09

Strange disappearances and crimes www.mumsnet.com/Talk/crime/4460248-Strange-disappearances-and-crimes
Interesting thread

Bananarama21 · 21/03/2022 07:10

Yes my ex boyfriend went missing on an night out, leaving his group very intoxicated. His body was found in the river about 11 days later, such a tragic event already was 21 years old. I think of him sometimes he could have been married with kids

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/03/2022 07:13

Thank you for sharing Medid and Insuburbia2. I am glad you’re both happier now than the time before.

I don’t know anyone, who has disappeared. I’m so sorry to everyone affected. Flowers

Halllyup17 · 21/03/2022 07:13

Yes, a lady was brought to the UK, from Africa, by sex traffickers. She managed to break free from them, but was pregnant, so she was housed by the council and I met her through a local church. For a couple of years, all was great. Her daughter went to toddler groups with mine, and she was trying to get the right paperwork sorted to be able to work.

One day, at 6am (as a single woman with a young child), the authorities turned up at her home and she was forcibly removed from the country.

The church kept in touch with her via a church in Africa, and they tried to keep her safe, but couldn't. Some people broke into her home, she was beaten unconscious, and her daughter was taken. She never saw her again. She'd be about 18 by now, and I'm convinced she's still alive.

I pray they will be reunited soon.

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/03/2022 07:16

Halllyup
That is horrendous. The poor woman and her poor daughter. Shame on the government. Shame.

GeneLovesJezebel · 21/03/2022 07:19

My great grandad disappeared, he was a mariner back in the day and it was assumed he’d been shipwrecked or something, as it had happened twice before.
Doing some genealogy I found that he died in a sailor’s home in Australia. Weird. Upped and left his wife and kids.

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