In your opinion, what’s the best age gap between kids?

[chatterbug22]

Not at the point of thinking about this just yet but planning ahead for the future.

What are the age gaps between yours and why has it worked well for you?

I hear a lot of people say 3 years is just right for many for a whole host of reasons but thought it’d be interesting to see a consensus.

@Bladdiebladdieblah

2-3 years.

Having had a 2 year age gap myself, I'd say 3 years is probably easier in the baby stage but 2 years now is easier they're older. With a two year age gap, the first year was hard. But I also adapted quite quickly and loved it. It obviously depends on the child. Don't consider it if your first child is not sleeping through though.

I don't understand the appeal of 4 + age gaps. Imagine getting a full night's sleep again, life can be a bit more spontaneous again, you get the freedom that comes with your kids going to school for yourself or your career. No more nappies or buggies or bottles. But then you're right back to square one in the trenches with the baby stage again or sleepless nights, nappies and prams. Large age gaps just drag everything out too long for me.

This is of course assuming you have any choice in the matter, which a lot of people don't unfortunately.

I think it really depends on the children, I found 2 under 2 years fine with a very easy older child who has always slept well, napped till quite old and very calm chilled temperament but appreciated larger gaps with the others as were much harder work so meant it more like running 2 half marathons over 2 weekends rather than a full marathon in a day!

Having thought about my own siblings I have a sister 2 years older than me who I get on five with but my sister 5 years younger than me is my best friend. My brother is almost 8 years younger than me and also get on really well

17 months here.
Tough, but very cute and fun baby and toddler years. Very much into the same thing at the same time, and similar stages now (11&12).

There's 3.5 years between me and my brother, that was a bit trickier for my parents, but we get along very well now as adults.

We have a 3 year age gap. Theyre close enough in age to play together (mine are 2 and 5 and play nicely together now) but the first one was at preschool when the second came along so I had some time alone with the baby - or would have done if not for lockdown!!

I definitely wouldn't go for an age gap of less than 3 years. We wanted to avoid have 2 in nappies and a double buggy. I wanted the eldest to be sleeping through the night before I fell pregnant because that's no fun!

The closer together they are, the harder it will be for the first few years. But you reap the benefits once you get over that hump. I've got 2 years and 2 months between mine and it's brilliant now that they are 6 and 4. They play all day together and enjoy the same things and we are progressing through their childhoods as a unit - don't have to wait for the little one to catch up before we can do things all together as a family that the older one has been old enough for ages.

In my experience, almost everyone thinks the age gap they have is the best! Which suggests that it doesn't matter all that much. You can find positives to focus on in any situation.

And adult relationships between siblings don't seem to have anything to do with age gaps. It's something that affects parenting while they are children but not the course of their relationship across their entire lives.

My 4 week old little boy had baby acne which cleared up but now I've seen he has these spots on his belly. Any ideas? He doesn't seem bothered by it.
FTM so everything is worrying me (on top of the lack of sleep)
Thank you

12 years between DD1 and DD2, definitely wouldn't recommend they have nothing in common!

There will be 2.8 between DD2 and DS1 hopefully it'll be better 😂.
We did plan for a 2 year age gap but it took longer than expected!

Two with 4.5 yrs between them get on better than the two with traditional two year gap. It's much easier when little too as they can be 'helpful' fetching nappies etc which seems to help with the bonding.

There are almost exactly 2 years between my DDs and it was definitely the right choice for us.

Pros:

You're in the swing of the baby stage already. Changing nappies/bulky baby equipment/prams/changing bags etc are all done at the same time and then over with quicker.

They are close in age so their interests are similar and they play well together. Doing things as a family is easier as we aren't having to cater to wildly different needs of different aged children.

It minimises the utterly annoying time of having to drop one at school and one at nursery before going to work. When they're in the same place it's much easier, two years of two separate drop offs was bad enough.

They are more like peers as they get older rather than one hitting the teenage years and really leaving the younger one behind.

Cons:

Expense (I had them both in nursery at the same time at one stage and that was costly)

Generally hectic. You have a baby and a toddler/pre-schooler at the same time. But once they're older life gets much much easier. I found it best to just go with the flow for a few years and appreciate I wouldn't be getting a lot of rest, but then that stage is done and I never have to go back to teething/nappy changes/night feeds etc.

Agree 5yrs. Mine are a daughter first, then a son. They've always been close, they never fought. As adults now they still adore each other. 23 and 18. My daughter takes him on extra driving practice, picks him up from parties etc. she picked him up from a rave recently at 7am. Which neither their dad or I knew about! She's a darling. he enjoyed growing up with lots of older females as my daughter included him when she had friends around our house. I wanted to wait until my daughter was in school before I had another so that I could dedicate the same amount of time to each baby. I conceived quickly so there's 5 yrs between them. My son totally adores and respects his older sister, he is friends with her boyfriend and they never really argue.

there’s a 4 year age gap between my girls. My first just started reception when my 2nd was born so it was good timing spending quality time with baby. Also i could not have done close age gaps with no village to support us. Mentally and physically i could not have coped that’s why we chose to wait.

There’s 18 months between my two, they’re one school year apart. This year they are actually in the same class at school, due to it being a small village school with combined year groups. I wouldn’t have it any other way, whilst the first couple of years were hard they are now the best of friends (most of the time!) Days out and activities are relatively easy as they are at similar stages so enjoy the same things.