What family activities do you do with your teens?

[spudjulia]

Thread about the cost of activities has spurred me into asking this question as I feel lost.

When my kids were little and primary aged, family activities, days/afternoons out were a breeze. I had a couple of passes to local attractions (like a farm thing and big soft play) and we'd either do that, or go to the forest, or go out on our bikes, or organise play dates. Or on occasions do the more expensive stuff: trampoline parks, clip n climb, go ape. Just going to the supermarket or garden centre or for a walk was a fun filled activity (for them, I found the supermarket stressful).

Now my eldest is a teen and the hormones have hit him hard. He doesn't want to go on walks, finds all our usual haunts boring and for babies (his words). He's very shy and doesn't have a huge number of friends, he doesn't arrange to go out with the ones he does.

So I'd love some ideas of things you do that your teens enjoy. It could be that he's in that phase where everything is boring (go ape for example, surely that's for all ages) and I'll never be able to please him. But I agree with him that my repertoire is dated and we need some new and exciting stuff to do. Doesn't have to be free/cheap stuff, although free/cheap stuff most welcome.

@Pbjontoast

Does he like being outdoors? I appreciate lots of teens would rather be inside all day and that's fair enough if that's what he likes, but we find anything adventurous has ours hooked.

So we go SUPing, rock climbing, kayaking, Via Ferrata, quad biking, river tubing, anything white water that gives me a heart attack . We don't do all these every month obviously, and some are dearer than others, but if I pull up my big girl pants and brave it too, it's great fun doing together as a family.

Spring is pretty much here now too, so it's soon camping season, which is good bonding. Who doesn't like a laugh around a campfire eating s'mores? Or the same in the back garden if camping isn't your thing.

We have also found a love for ice hockey as a family; myself, DH and 2 teens. Went to one game and were hooked. Now attend every home game of our team , both DS(13) and DD(15) massive NHLfans too now so enjoy watching it on tv/showing me clips on youtube/giving me quizzes they've made up. I love going to the games but not so interested in the NHL/on TV stuff, but fake it because its great family time, we literally spend hours chatting about this stuff. Both DCs ice skate to a pretty high level, DS has now moved into ice hockey and has a great group of friends at his club and just been taken onto a youth team. I'd really recommend going to an EIHL game if you can get to one, lots of fun and very family friendly

He has said he might enjoy the inflatable water obstacle thingies that have popped up everywhere, but they aren't open until it's warmer. I will book him in for that as soon as it does open. He's athletic and good at sports (though he's quit every team he was on, he was very sporty before this) so he's great at go ape, for example. But I'm shit scared of heights!

@Cleanbedlinen12

Thanks for this thread op! Have exactly the same with ds 14. Is so bored but won’t do anything or call ( few) mates. Am concerned he’s just not having any fun, he’s on computer all the time and refuses to go anywhere with us. Or at all really. Guess we do live in a pretty quiet country place but other kids are off in gangs on cycles to beach or wherever . Ah well at least we are not alone. Would love him to just have fun though. Mind you I didn’t as a kid. Too shy.

Yes, this is my son exactly. We also live rurally, he can't go into city himself, and there's not much going on here for teenagers that he can get to himself. I do see teenagers meeting at the park or going round on their bikes, but my son doesn't want to do that.

@spudjulia you sound like such a lovely, caring, thoughtful parent: your DS is lucky

Not had time to RTWT...some great suggestions on the first few pages, apologies if I repeat anything...my teen ds hates shopping so that's definitely not an option for us

I've got 3 teens, with very different levels of social activity. I try to vary things, and it helps that we have a dog, as that makes it easier to enforce family walks (plus makes them much more fun!). Along with that:

Bowling
Ice-skating
Cinema (some great cut price options, esp if you bring your own drinks and popcorn!)
Board games
Family movie nights
Meals out
Cooking fancy meals (ds16 chooses the menu, and we work on the food together)
Table tennis
Crazy golf (massive hit all round every time)
Swimming somewhere with slides or a wave machine
Snow dome
Bike rides
Baking (they do it, along with the washing up. I hang out to chat and lend a hand if needed)

Good luck!

We went hiking, kayaking, pub lunches (often connected to first two) national trust, cathedrals, concerts (contemporary and classical)

Hang in there. I was in despair about DS in year 8, having been very sporty he seemed to be giving it all up. He started with a new football team, then started playing D&D. He is now nearly 18 and actually quite sociable.

Sometimes I try to make conversation with her??

That's about her limit for "activities"

He's athletic and good at sports (though he's quit every team he was on, he was very sporty before this)
I know this sounds daft but I wonder whether he'd do one of those charity runs if he found a cause he believed in? As for the game playing with school friends - at least it's something they have in common! Would he hang out irl with any of them if nudged?

No, I'm reliably told Panthers are the best and Sheffield are cheaters 😂

You seem really lovely OP, so I'll presume you just went a bit delirious for a moment there

@Fillybuster thank you. That's made my day, reading that this morning

@Neurodiversitydoctor

Hang in there. I was in despair about DS in year 8, having been very sporty he seemed to be giving it all up. He started with a new football team, then started playing D&D. He is now nearly 18 and actually quite sociable.

Glad to hear there is hope yet!

@TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo

Sometimes I try to make conversation with her??

That's about her limit for "activities"

This resonates with me so hard

@Billandben444

He's athletic and good at sports (though he's quit every team he was on, he was very sporty before this) I know this sounds daft but I wonder whether he'd do one of those charity runs if he found a cause he believed in? As for the game playing with school friends - at least it's something they have in common! Would he hang out irl with any of them if nudged?

That's something I have tried a bit. He won't organise it by himself so I'm trying to find something so amazing (and yet affordable) that he'll be confident to ask some friends to come along.

@Pbjontoast

No, I'm reliably told Panthers are the best and Sheffield are cheaters 😂

You seem really lovely OP, so I'll presume you just went a bit delirious for a moment there

One of my oldest friends had season tickets so I'd often go to watch Panthers with her when her partner couldn't go, and actually she did take my son when he was little (and you can imagine her thoughts on the Steelers 😂 - I bear them no I'll-feeling). It's actually a great idea. All that testosterone and feeling of being part of something.

Thanks so much everyone. I'm really glad I posted. Feeling a little relieved it seems quite normal behaviour. I'm still determined to keep chipping away, though.

I've asked around about local pubs with pool tables, because I think he'd like that. Especially if I could arrange to meet up with one of his primary school friends families too. Also made a list of all the suggestions so will work through them!

I'll-feeling

Autocorrect! Ill-feeling