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Original poster

What family activities do you do with your teens?

115 replies

spudjulia · 19/03/2022 17:29

Thread about the cost of activities has spurred me into asking this question as I feel lost.

When my kids were little and primary aged, family activities, days/afternoons out were a breeze. I had a couple of passes to local attractions (like a farm thing and big soft play) and we'd either do that, or go to the forest, or go out on our bikes, or organise play dates. Or on occasions do the more expensive stuff: trampoline parks, clip n climb, go ape. Just going to the supermarket or garden centre or for a walk was a fun filled activity (for them, I found the supermarket stressful).

Now my eldest is a teen and the hormones have hit him hard. He doesn't want to go on walks, finds all our usual haunts boring and for babies (his words). He's very shy and doesn't have a huge number of friends, he doesn't arrange to go out with the ones he does.

So I'd love some ideas of things you do that your teens enjoy. It could be that he's in that phase where everything is boring (go ape for example, surely that's for all ages) and I'll never be able to please him. But I agree with him that my repertoire is dated and we need some new and exciting stuff to do. Doesn't have to be free/cheap stuff, although free/cheap stuff most welcome.

OP posts:
TheChosenTwo · 20/03/2022 08:47

My older 2 are 16 and 17, the youngest is 10.
Altogether we like going out to eat (a clear favourite), trips to London, theme parks, crazy golf, top golf, seaside arcades and doughnuts, bowling, board games (dh doesn’t like these very much!), occasional trips to the cinema but it’s tricky to find something they all want to watch, erm, can’t think what else is universally popular. We are quite close as a family and sometimes a few of us will split and go off and do something we will enjoy together if the others aren’t keen. The older 2 also have good social lives separate from us.
I think they indulge doing as many family activities as they do for the sake of the youngest which is really kind of them. They can usually all be bribed with food out of some kind!

Original poster
spudjulia · 20/03/2022 20:20

Newsflash: we went out for a Sunday roast and though he moaned for the first half hour, by the end he was chatting to us and even went on the trampoline in the playground with his little brother and they were laughing.

Thanks for all these messages. I'm desperate to keep channels of communication open.

OP posts:
NeedleNoodle3 · 20/03/2022 20:29

Excellent

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Games
TheChosenTwo · 20/03/2022 20:39

The other thing I sometimes do is take a friends dog for a walk and one of the teens will usually come along as they love the dog. It’s a good way of having a chat as you’re not looking directly at each other and sometimes conversations flow more freely as it feels like there’s less pressure. I find it the same as driving in the car, they are usually quite chatty when it’s just the two of us up front.

toomanydogsandcats · 20/03/2022 21:01

Nothing. They have their own lives. Who wants to be dragged around by needy parents at that age?

blueplantpop · 20/03/2022 21:07

My DS 14 sounds just like yours, he refuses to visit grandparents unless under huge duress/bribes, has slowly stopped going out with his mates as he lacks confidence making the first move, has made every trip to a National Trust utterly miserable so we often leave him at home now. I take solace in that he goes to school and I think socialises there (no best mate but think the boys hang around, he still does some clubs and likes scouts still but others I think he will quit soon, and that he does sometimes emerge from his bedroom to sit with his siblings. It’s really hard tho. I think my DS would be mortified if he got spotted with his family out and about.

blueplantpop · 20/03/2022 21:08

Ouch, cat by name, catty by nature!

NeedleNoodle3 · 20/03/2022 21:10

I’ve never seen any DC over about the age of 11 at a NT place. The moaning just isn’t worth taking them.

blueplantpop · 20/03/2022 21:14

Yes, we’ve never taken him since, was bloody awful until right at the end he got treated to a coke and also ice cream and he stopped to give us a faint grimace/smile

Benjaminsniddlegrass · 20/03/2022 21:18

My DSS are bit older now but they'd come out on walks, might moan to begin with but once we were up a hill etc they were happy enough, during lockdown we'd walk & they'd skateboard, meals out definitely, swimming in local river, lakes, we often take a BBQ down with us, cinema - me & DSS17 have a long standing commitment to watch all marvel movies together, stream shows - currently DSS17 & DH are working their way through vikings, trip into town if offer of treat is there, trips to local cities, trips to theatre, late night Spotify karaoke...

IggyAce · 20/03/2022 21:20

Teen dd and tween ds will go for a costa or Starbucks, cinema, bowling and they will agree to a walk along the beach as long as they get an ice cream.
They also enjoy crazy golf.
At home they enjoy playing a couple of games such as Bears vs babies, exploding kittens and Blockus.
Does your ds like gaming my ds loves the local gaming hideaway with it’s vr games and consoles. My nephews enjoy go karting.

TheChosenTwo · 20/03/2022 21:22

To be fair @NeedleNoodle3 I’d have the same reaction if I were taken to traipse around a NT place Grin

Lovemusic33 · 20/03/2022 21:25

TBH if my teens got there own way we would mainly be going out to eat (pizza hut, McDonald’s, gregs) or my youngest would chose shopping followed by eating out. I try and compromise, we go for a walk and then I might buy them something to eat, maybe cake or a toasted sandwich or fish and chips after walking along the beach. I guess I use the food as a bribe but it’s the only way to get the eldest dc out the house and away from her tech. They both like car boot sales and charity shops and weekends away in travel lodge or similar.

Lovemusic33 · 20/03/2022 21:26

We go to NT places and nature reserves a lot too. We see other teens there.

Pbjontoast · 20/03/2022 21:27

Does he like being outdoors? I appreciate lots of teens would rather be inside all day and that's fair enough if that's what he likes, but we find anything adventurous has ours hooked.

So we go SUPing, rock climbing, kayaking, Via Ferrata, quad biking, river tubing, anything white water that gives me a heart attack Shock. We don't do all these every month obviously, and some are dearer than others, but if I pull up my big girl pants and brave it too, it's great fun doing together as a family.

Spring is pretty much here now too, so it's soon camping season, which is good bonding. Who doesn't like a laugh around a campfire eating s'mores? Or the same in the back garden if camping isn't your thing.

We have also found a love for ice hockey as a family; myself, DH and 2 teens. Went to one game and were hooked. Now attend every home game of our team , both DS(13) and DD(15) massive NHLfans too now so enjoy watching it on tv/showing me clips on youtube/giving me quizzes they've made up. I love going to the games but not so interested in the NHL/on TV stuff, but fake it because its great family time, we literally spend hours chatting about this stuff. Both DCs ice skate to a pretty high level, DS has now moved into ice hockey and has a great group of friends at his club and just been taken onto a youth team. I'd really recommend going to an EIHL game if you can get to one, lots of fun and very family friendly Smile

Pbjontoast · 20/03/2022 21:33

I've just noticed where you live. There are teams in the elite ice hockey league in Coventry and Nottingham, if either is travelling distance from you or if youre willing to travel further Sheffield are a far superior team GrinGrin

Loopytiles · 20/03/2022 21:33

Lovely update!

Cleanbedlinen12 · 20/03/2022 21:35

Thanks for this thread op! Have exactly the same with ds 14. Is so bored but won’t do anything or call ( few) mates. Am concerned he’s just not having any fun, he’s on computer all the time and refuses to go anywhere with us. Or at all really. Guess we do live in a pretty quiet country place but other kids are off in gangs on cycles to beach or wherever . Ah well at least we are not alone. Would love him to just have fun though. Mind you I didn’t as a kid. Too shy.

Original poster
spudjulia · 20/03/2022 22:44

@toomanydogsandcats

Nothing. They have their own lives. Who wants to be dragged around by needy parents at that age?
He's 13 and he does not have his own life.
OP posts:
Original poster
spudjulia · 20/03/2022 22:46

@NeedleNoodle3

I’ve never seen any DC over about the age of 11 at a NT place. The moaning just isn’t worth taking them.
Haha yes!
OP posts:
Original poster
spudjulia · 20/03/2022 22:49

@IggyAce

Teen dd and tween ds will go for a costa or Starbucks, cinema, bowling and they will agree to a walk along the beach as long as they get an ice cream. They also enjoy crazy golf. At home they enjoy playing a couple of games such as Bears vs babies, exploding kittens and Blockus. Does your ds like gaming my ds loves the local gaming hideaway with it’s vr games and consoles. My nephews enjoy go karting.
What's a gaming hideaway?

Yes, he loves gaming. He will chat to some boys from school on his games but this never translates to real life meet ups. I was wondering if I could find something to do with gaming that was more face to face.

OP posts:
DelilahBucket · 20/03/2022 22:50

We do quite a lot with DS. DH does things like bike rides and Go Ape which aren't my thing, but together we have done escape rooms, city shopping followed by none alcoholic cocktails, the cinema, film night and takeaway at home, music gigs, I sing in a choir and DS likes to come with me as singing is one of his hobbies, DH does guitar sessions with him, we cook or bake together or sometimes we just go to Costa for a drink and a natter.
Occasionally he'll come for a walk with us as we're quite keen on walking and running, but he usually declines. We still ask every time though.

DelilahBucket · 20/03/2022 22:51

Forgot bowling and crazy golf are always winners. We did a retro gaming arcade too that was a huge hit.

Original poster
spudjulia · 20/03/2022 22:52

@Pbjontoast

I've just noticed where you live. There are teams in the elite ice hockey league in Coventry and Nottingham, if either is travelling distance from you or if youre willing to travel further Sheffield are a far superior team GrinGrin
No, I'm reliably told Panthers are the best and Sheffield are cheaters 😂
OP posts:
MySaladDaysAreGone · 20/03/2022 22:54

Mother of 15 yr old ds here. He spends much time in room gaming online ( inc effing and blinding!) we let him. He also chats with us about tv, school etc with a little prompting! Can potentially drag him out for a walk once a month. Expect little, be grateful for the scraps!