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Original poster

Could you date someone with such a limited diet?

134 replies

georgousbold · 17/03/2022 18:55

I've met a really nice man recently.

6 weeks in and I'm really enjoying his company. I have a disabled son so finding anyone new was always going to be hit and miss

He's a really friendly and caring person, it seems. I have absolutely no support most of the time for my son and last week he even offered to step in when I had a vomiting bug, offering to take DS to the local park and go for a walk with him so I could catch some extra zzzs. He made it clear that he knew why I'd decline as he was new, but said the offer was there and open (he's a doctor so very much DBS checked)

We have been out for something to eat 3 times now. Each time, chicken nuggets and chips, with a little ketchup on the side and sprinkled with vinegar and lots of salt like it's snowing on his plate

Yesterday we had a lunch at a local cafe. Chicken nuggets and chips, with lots and lots of salt, then he asked for some beans so a slight improvement.

Could you go out with someone with such a limited diet? I asked why it was so simple and he shrugged and said 'it's predictable'

He has asked to take me to a sushi place next week so we shall see how this plays out. I don't think they sell nuggets!

OP posts:

DillDanding · 17/03/2022 21:22

To me, it's a bit like dating a man who never read books, only comics.

But if he eats sushi, all is not lost.

Sunnytwobridges · 17/03/2022 21:22

This is a tough one. I like to cook and cook for others so it would be tough living with someone like this. But I try to think if he was the love of my life, and was perfect in every other way would I pass him by because of this one thing? Probably not. I'd have to get over it altho I'm sure it would annoy me sometimes lol

Even tho he doesn't cook I would still think he would try new things when eating out.

Doodar · 17/03/2022 21:23

it's only one thing up to now, I wouldn't discount him yet.

cherish123 · 17/03/2022 21:24

Would not bother me.

godmum56 · 17/03/2022 21:26

@LemonViolet

For me, if we went to the sushi place and he orders the katsu chicken with no sauce…..I’d at least be having a conversation to find out if he really does only eat such a limited diet. It would probably be a dealbreaker for me unless I was really swept off my feet. For those who keep saying “why does my limited diet affect you….” sharing food, eating and cooking together is an important activity for many people and the ability to do that with a partner is really important for them. Same as if a very sporty/active person probably wouldn’t want to date me cos like hell am I going to go for a run/cycle/gym session with anyone. It’s “nothing personal”. Wouldn’t be an issue if it were a friend, just not compatible in a life partner.

My late DH was a very avid motorbiker. We had dogs so we could go out for short rides but not any distance. We did other things together and he used to go out for longer rides and biker weekends on his own. Its perfectly possible to cook together, eat together and share meals without having to eat the same thing.

godmum56 · 17/03/2022 21:29

@YvanEhtNiojYvanEhtNioj

"roastedsaltedpeanut
Food is such a crucial part of my life and I wouldn’t be able to stand anyone with such limited palate.
Food is like a snapshot of a culture. Ideally i would like my parents to be able to discuss the culinary technique as well as historical/cultural backgrounds of a famous dish. Whats the most authentic recipe and where to find it etc.
Cannot be with someone who isn’t able to step away from toddler food, who potentially carries the genes of not being able to have fun with food. I despair at the thought of a husband and children who can only eat toddler food for the rest of their lives!"

Is waffle your favourite food?

@YvanEhtNiojYvanEhtNioj
wins the internet tonight

krazykatzlady · 17/03/2022 21:32

@corlan

I would, but I think I have the same issue with food as him.I've eaten the same thing for lunch for nearly 40 years.( Perfect in every other way though!) I think the term for this restrictive eating is ARFID - I've never really looked into it because it's never affected my health.

ARFID won't be diagnosed unless it is affecting your health, two NHS criteria for diagnosis are: Needing nutritional supplement to ensure energy needs are met, Developing nutritional deficiencies

It's fascinating that meeting those criteria are now essential for NHS treatment for ARFID 🤔

Mellowyellow222 · 17/03/2022 21:33

I would need to understand this more.

Does is spread into tigger aspects of his life - does he like to travel, is he open to new experiences, does he has issues with routine and order etc.

I worked with someone many years ago who had a very limited, plain diet. He was very conservative in his outlook on most things - went on holiday to the same hotel every year, refused to try new restaurants, watched the same awful soap religiously, bought the same clothes form the same shop.

He was in his twenties - shocking really. He missed out on so much.

KitKat1985 · 17/03/2022 21:40

It wouldn't be a deal-breaker for me if he's otherwise a nice guy. I can understand that it may be a bit annoying though if you eat out often.

As a nurse though I can assure you most doctor's diets are terrible so that doesn't shock me! Long hours and high stress lifestyle means too many of them live on coffee and fast food in my experience!

LemonViolet · 17/03/2022 21:46

Obviously couples can have different interests and not do everything together but it’s also okay to not want to date someone for any reason, but especially for a major incompatibility like keen foodie vs limited diet, or like me lazy unfit person vs gym bunny, etc. Whatever’s important to you.

Ohyesiam · 17/03/2022 21:48

@Pemba

That's surprising for a doctor!

I’ve wish it was. All the doctors I knew when I was a nurse had terrible diets. They also smoked.

WonderfulYou · 17/03/2022 21:52

These threads never go well......
I suffer from ARFID so have real issues with food.
It's not childish, it's not 'toddler' food, it's not ignorant etc etc

I agree.

Unfortunately some people think chips and chicken nuggets all of the time are acceptable toddler food which says more about them and their parenting than an adult making their own food choices.

Many people have issues with food which is nothing to be ashamed about or judged for. And lots of us will often order the same/similar things when eating out as you know you’ll like it.
Whenever I go McDonald’s I get the exact same thing as I know I really enjoy it.

RampantIvy · 17/03/2022 21:53

@NoNever

Unless he’s making you eat it, I don’t see the issue?

I do. It would mean that we could never go out for an Indian, Thai or Turkish meal. We would be restricted to the type of places that only provide junk fast food.

WonderfulYou · 17/03/2022 21:55

I would, but I think I have the same issue with food as him.I've eaten the same thing for lunch for nearly 40 years.( Perfect in every other way though!)

@corlan
I think this is what Victoria Beckham has too as she eats the same thing every day.

Can I ask what you eat for lunch?
And are you ok with eating breakfast and dinner or do these have to be certain things too?

Siepie · 17/03/2022 22:03

His diet wouldn't bother me. He's happy to go to sushi places so it doesn't sound like being with him will involve restricting what you eat.

If you're looking for a LTR, maybe eventually moving in together, then not being able to cook would be an issue for me. I wouldn't want to have to cook 100% of the time just because my partner hadn't bothered to learn.

1forAll74 · 17/03/2022 22:06

i wouldn't mind what the chooses to eat, if he looks quite fit and healthy.
I would just not like to be with a person, who is blobby and obese, and shovels down junk food all the time, and stinks of garlic !

Original poster

georgousbold · 17/03/2022 22:26

@betwixtlives

why has he met your dc already?

He met him in passing once, has never met him properly

OP posts:

AtleastitsnotMonday · 17/03/2022 22:49

Some people on this thread seem to have met very few doctors. Certainly not many Dr’s working long shifts, in hospitals where if you don’t bring food with you, your choices are the canteen that closes at 1600 (great if on a night shift) and when it does open offers a fine selection of mayonnaise laden, limp sandwiches, or pretty cold limp chips, a vending machine, the league of friends shop or an over priced Costa. And the rec room has a constant lingering stench of pot noodles. Obviously this isn’t representative of all, there’s the ones that cycle in with their salmon, kale and brown rice in Tupperware but ...

WinterDeWinter · 17/03/2022 23:35

It sounds as though perhaps you've been going to crap places (sorry) and maybe he just gets something he knows you can't fuck up? For eg ina caff I would always get egg and chips. I would never get a salad bcs I know it will be grim. But if I was in a posher place I would? Hope hat doesn't sound rude.

bluebell34567 · 17/03/2022 23:46

that much salt would bother and he is a dr.

bluebell34567 · 17/03/2022 23:46

bother me

Lisad1231981 · 17/03/2022 23:49

It really wouldn't bother me if it didn't effect what I could eat.
He sounds like a nice man, but if your wondering if you should not date him because of his diet, I would suggest you already have one foot out the door. You over look so many things when first dating, or maybe it was just me . DH would live off cereal and toast if he isn't cooking for whole family or if none of us are home and he has to cook for himself.

N0tfinished · 18/03/2022 00:04

Lots of people have limited diets for many reasons. I'm a coeliac which can be very limiting & a right pain when eating out & even cooking. If he's a nice well-adjusted man and you enjoy his company then I'd give him a chance. No one's making you marry him yet, it's early days.

N0tfinished · 18/03/2022 00:09

Also the pp's who were dubious about a doctor not cooking - I'd imagine it's more about priorities and even sexism! My DH is a university lecturer who's defeated by our washing machine. I'm sure if it were life or death he'd figure it out but he can't be bothered

Summerfun54321 · 18/03/2022 00:42

Unless you’re perfect yourself OP you’d be mad to dump him over this.

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