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Original poster

Could you date someone with such a limited diet?

134 replies

georgousbold · 17/03/2022 18:55

I've met a really nice man recently.

6 weeks in and I'm really enjoying his company. I have a disabled son so finding anyone new was always going to be hit and miss

He's a really friendly and caring person, it seems. I have absolutely no support most of the time for my son and last week he even offered to step in when I had a vomiting bug, offering to take DS to the local park and go for a walk with him so I could catch some extra zzzs. He made it clear that he knew why I'd decline as he was new, but said the offer was there and open (he's a doctor so very much DBS checked)

We have been out for something to eat 3 times now. Each time, chicken nuggets and chips, with a little ketchup on the side and sprinkled with vinegar and lots of salt like it's snowing on his plate Blush

Yesterday we had a lunch at a local cafe. Chicken nuggets and chips, with lots and lots of salt, then he asked for some beans so a slight improvement.

Could you go out with someone with such a limited diet? I asked why it was so simple and he shrugged and said 'it's predictable'

He has asked to take me to a sushi place next week so we shall see how this plays out. I don't think they sell nuggets!

OP posts:
TrooBloo · 17/03/2022 19:20

Salt isn’t the enemy. Chicken nuggets and chips are though!

NotAScoobyToBeSeen · 17/03/2022 19:21

Doctors are people too, and many medical people smoke and eat a not nutritionally balanced diet, possibly partly because theyre running around helping everyone else. If everything else is good and it isnt a deal breaker for you to not be able to go to every restaurant then dont let it stop you moving forwards

Pyri · 17/03/2022 19:22

Not really, as I love food and eating out etc and you can dump someone for whatever reason you want

But then the other part of me thinks it’s quite shallow, would you be happy if he judged you on quite a minor point and broke up with you because of it?

A580Hojas · 17/03/2022 19:24

I suppose I could possibly date someone with a very restricted toddler diet, but I could never live with such a person. It would get tired VERY quickly.

Krakenchorus · 17/03/2022 19:25

He's a doctor... and he doesn't cook because he finds the steps confusing. Uh-huh.

AbsentmindedWoman · 17/03/2022 19:28

[quote georgousbold]@Pemba The amount of salt visible is very very shocking for a doctor [/quote]
Maybe he has low blood pressure?

My actual cardiologist in London advised me to eat more crisps Grin

Yes, I would date someone with a very restricted diet if I otherwise really liked them. Not a dealbreaker, even though I love eating a range of cuisines myself.

PrincessPaws · 17/03/2022 19:28

I'm not sure I could, I have a friend in a relationship with someone who will only eat certain things and it's a nightmare

They can't eat out (and don't get asked when other people go out) because suddenly it all becomes about what he will eat and if there something he will eat on the menu. He'll only go on holiday to certain places because he knows that he can get his preferred foods there etc. it's exhausting and really limits the things they can do

Mrsbunton · 17/03/2022 19:28

As a side issue the fact that he’s a doctor and has passed a dbs check doesn’t mean he’s safe to be alone with your son. The fact that he’s offering to take a child out alone that he hardly knows would worry me far more than what his diet is like.

AffIt · 17/03/2022 19:30

No.

I like to cook and eat, and part of the enjoyment of cooking and eating is sharing.

I am also autistic, so while some sensory issues around food can be part of autism, it's not the be all and end all.

Can people PLEASE step down with the fucking ablism? Maybe this guy is ND, maybe he's just really fucking fussy.

Crazykatie · 17/03/2022 19:30

He would not be the one for me, a doctor eating like that is weird, so is not bothering to cook because it’s too complicated, I bet he’s got other undesirable quirks too.

No thanks

DukeofEarlGrey · 17/03/2022 19:30

Unlike the drugs thread, this wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me. It's not attractive because I want a partner to have a reasonably healthy lifestyle, but it's not a dealbreaker. I would be concerned about the salt in the long-term, though.

What I do like is that you mentioned it and he suggested the sushi place. He won't get chicken nuggets there so presumably it's an effort to try something different because of you and that seems like a really nice sign.

Blue4YOU · 17/03/2022 19:31

People can’t be good at everything- I mean if he’s been working in a hospital etc he probably doesn’t have regular hours and often doing 12 hour shifts…
When I worked hours like that my diet was terrible.
It’s probably habit more than taste.
If he’s happy to go to restaurants and eat whatever type food is served, his not cooking isn’t a big deal,
I’m no cook - but I can decorate, bake, garden etc and was the high earner before I had my disabled DD.
I’d learn if I had to but it’d never be a passion (I can do risotto/lasagna/vegetarian sausage stew/omelette etc but definitely not curry - got DH for that (it’s his “hobby”)

SixteenTwelve · 17/03/2022 19:35

I would like to say “no” but I had a date once with a bloke who ordered the “plain burger” and asked for all salad and sauces to be taken off so it was just a patty in a dry bun with chips and that really put me off…that and the band t shirt he was wearing 😂

Riverlee · 17/03/2022 19:36

I think you need to go to non-chicken nugget places to see how he is in other restaurants. If he only eats chicken and chips, then that could be limiting in the future. I don’t think it’s very mature.

Good advice from @Mrsbunton about being cautious about his offer to look after your child, especially taking him out of the house. Most people haven’t introduced new partners to their dc at that stage, let alone letting them loose with them.

SixteenTwelve · 17/03/2022 19:36

In your case I would say it depends where you have been eating. If you’ve only gone to cafes or greasy spoons it might be that’s just what he likes to order from these places. See how the sushi goes and I also love loads of salt on my food 🙈

Aquamarine1029 · 17/03/2022 19:38

Nope. Never. Picky eaters are basically my biggest peeve.

Graphista · 17/03/2022 19:39

I rather suspect all those saying "not a problem" haven't actually lived with someone like this!

My ex was VERY fussy when we met and 1st married (he was a little better when we married but not much!

At first there were fewer than a dozen things he would eat

It doesn't seem a problem at first when dating but it does become very tiresome especially if they don't cook either (the two often go hand in hand)

Also very hard in terms of eating out and on holiday and especially eating out with friends etc eg he wouldn't ever go to an Indian restaurant at first

I too found the offer to take your son solo very odd! Just because he is a dr and background checked doesn't mean he is safe op. Can just mean he hasn't been caught doing anything dodgy!

I wouldn't date a fussy eater again it was a real pain!

godmum56 · 17/03/2022 19:42

I wouldn't be bothered at all unless it affected what I wanted to eat. I am not one for posh expensive meals out either. By me there are much much more important things to worry about.

corlan · 17/03/2022 19:44

I would, but I think I have the same issue with food as him.I've eaten the same thing for lunch for nearly 40 years.( Perfect in every other way though!)
I think the term for this restrictive eating is ARFID - I've never really looked into it because it's never affected my health.

Jammybadger · 17/03/2022 19:44

Where did you go that served chicken nuggets outside of the children’s menu?!

godmum56 · 17/03/2022 19:44

@Graphista

I rather suspect all those saying "not a problem" haven't actually lived with someone like this!

My ex was VERY fussy when we met and 1st married (he was a little better when we married but not much!

At first there were fewer than a dozen things he would eat

It doesn't seem a problem at first when dating but it does become very tiresome especially if they don't cook either (the two often go hand in hand)

Also very hard in terms of eating out and on holiday and especially eating out with friends etc eg he wouldn't ever go to an Indian restaurant at first

I too found the offer to take your son solo very odd! Just because he is a dr and background checked doesn't mean he is safe op. Can just mean he hasn't been caught doing anything dodgy!

I wouldn't date a fussy eater again it was a real pain!

I did. My late DH had very specific likes and dislikes, as do I, and no they didn't overlap much. I used to do pretty much all the cooking because he worked such long hours and I worked part time. never found it a problem and, like I said, there are more important things to worry about.
OohRahhMaki123 · 17/03/2022 19:45

It depends on you really.

Provided he is having a balanced, healthy lifestyle and isn't putting his health and life expectancy at risk, a limited diet isn't necessarily wrong.

BUT, I love going out for tasting menus, trying new restaurants, experimenting with new recipes, hosting big family dinners. If DP's eating was restrictive and we couldn't do those things then I don't think we would have clicked and the relationship wouldn't have gotten off the ground.

It really comes down to whether his diet is so restricted that it impacts the things you'd like to experience, and whether you are happy accepting that.

Georgeskitchen · 17/03/2022 19:45

Maybe you could educate his pallet. Invite him to yours for dinner and cook for him!!

godmum56 · 17/03/2022 19:45

and I really really wish that we could take the terms "picky eater" and "fussy eater" and shove them in room 101.

godmum56 · 17/03/2022 19:47

@corlan

I would, but I think I have the same issue with food as him.I've eaten the same thing for lunch for nearly 40 years.( Perfect in every other way though!) I think the term for this restrictive eating is ARFID - I've never really looked into it because it's never affected my health.
It only needs a label if it causes a problem for the person....same as any other "diagnosis"