How can you tell whether a child will be academic

[Ritamarghita]

Had a chat with a friend today. She got 2 girls, one is year 3, the other is a 3.5 yo pre schooler going to the same nursery as my 4 yo.

She is confident that her older DD will be very academic, however she thinks her younger DD will not be. She says that her older DD was a lot more advanced at 3.5 with reading and writing than the younger DD, also younger DD 'doesn't do well under pressure', whatever that means for a 3.5 yo. I felt a little deflated tbh as my almost 4.5 yo DD cannot read yet, apart from sounding out about 10 basic 3 letter words. She's very good with phonics and a fast learner but we've not focused much on the reading and writing part yet. I come from a country where we start school at 7.

I do want my DD to do well, but hearing of children reading at 3.5 yo makes me feel like I've not done enough for my DD. Can you really tell at this age whether a child will be academic? Is there real value in teaching children to read so early?

@inmyslippers

These responses are great to hear. Mines very sporty, bouncy, attention span of a gnat. Getting him to sit still to read is a challenge

Your child sounds gorgeous, just a pity that our system is not set up to value all children for their intrinsic specialness.

Every person without exception who has actually said to other parents that their child is intelligent is always quite thick themselves. I'm afraid not true - I knew someone whose dh and herself had been to Oxbridge and had successful careers and she used to wax on and on about how bright her kids were, thought they were brighter than her etc - it was really hard to listen to, almost the first thing she'd say to me when we met was their latest list of achievements. I'm so glad we no longer see each other.

@JennyHogon

Most parents think their PFB are geniuses, but I have one super-clever one and it was very clear from very early on (well before he went to school). However, it wasn't just early reading etc (though he did all of that) - he was just luminously clever, curious, desperate to learn, wanted to sit and make letters with bits of twig if we were at the park etc, when my other DC just wanted to play. He was the same right throughout school and is now the same at Oxbridge.

I don't agree with that at all, I haven't met any parents who have declared their child to be a genius even the ones whose son came top of the world in two subjects. In fact they are very frank about his teenage twattishness.

Making letters with twigs is no more a sign of genius than talking late (like Einstein), it just means they enjoyed making letters with twigs.

I don't take academic to mean better.

If I said someone was academic I'd mean they naturally tended towards activities that involve books/reading/writing. Someone sporty may get more enjoyment from and be better at physical activities. Someone arty prefers arts/crafts/making and doing type activities.

I think you can get an idea in young children which way they lean so to speak but that doesn't mean they are any better or worse or more or less gifted!

The sporty one could go on to be the next Pele; the arty one could be the next Banksy!

I found this an interesting read considering the topic: www.bbc.com/future/article/20220228-the-best-age-for-learning-to-read

Your child sounds gorgeous, just a pity that our system is not set up to value all children for their intrinsic specialness

^^ thank you