The worst present someone could ever give you...

[FuckThatBullshit]

It's Sunday and I'm bored! I'll go first:

A kindle. Can't beat a good old fashioned page turning book

A puppy. Absolutely no chance

A spa day. Prefer rollercoasters!

A personalised registration plate. They make my eyeballs cringe

Not quite this but lots of people even relatives give me or others something they think they’d like and don’t ask you!

Agreed with perfume - have got some from aunt (same one more than once!) and I just don’t like it! Same aunt (very wealthy) also gets me and DMum rubbishy cheap skincare from TK Maxx, last set had a cheap hairbrush in it.

Prosecco is mostly from people who don’t know me very well.

Notebooks - I don’t use them - SIL loves them!

I will take however a dachshund puppy.

Years ago a close friend from work got me an Ugly face mug - it was from a craft fair. It was ugly and I now know she was trying to be funny but I’d had a bit of a complex about being pretty as a child (wore glasses every day until I was 12) and I didn’t really blossom until teens/20s. Got this when I was 18/19. I think if she’d have known me better she wouldn’t have bought it but I thought she was calling me ugly. Do think with some items you need to know people well. Same with friend who got me a Swarovski Crystal pendant and last year a Swarovski evil eye bracelet - both lovely but not really into bling and not into evil eye stuff either!

Flowers on Mother’s Day/valentines… always awful quality. Any cosmetics/perfume I have not asked for,

Anything from Swarovski, Lush or Pandora.

White chocolate

Bags

Spa days (I HATE strangers touching me and will NEVER use them)

Candles

Patterned face masks

A body ‘tree’ with awful Ferraro Roche on it. And a wine glass with three fake glass diamonds on a 50 wine glass. Really. Awful and I thoughtful, not what I would ever choose. Oh yes I got these this past weekend. They’ve known me for more than twenty years. Shouldn’t have bothered.

Fucking fucking fucking candles. Is there any other present that screams “I haven’t a fucking clue and can’t be arsed finding out what you like so here, have a generic 40 something woman present”

Just give me a donkey or a toilet already.

Vouchers for someplace not local that you haven't expressed a wish to visit.

My mum gave us an afternoon tea voucher for a cafe near them, but not particularly fancy or desirable. I gave birth 2 days before christmas and an EBF, its just going to be a ball ache to use it. My mum keeps saying she'll watch our toddler and newborn which is a kind offer, but I dont want to give him formula just so I can eat sandwiches and cake. (Expressing doesn't work for me, its take about 8 sessions to get enough for 1 bottle!)

Booze, I’m teetotal, spa days, not my thing at all

Absolutely awful glittery shite people sell on Facebook, like the wine bottles and glasses covered in glitter. I imagine getting a mouthful of glittery with every mouthful and if washing off when washing the dishes.

Also, 'chocolate bouquets' people sell on Facebook. Usually about £10 worth of chocolate sold for £20 because it's strategically shoved in a flower box.

Also crap usually found in-front of the till in card factory.

Fancy chocolates - my taste in sweet stuff is completely childish: cadburys buttons, jellies, sherbet - all great. Butlers/Leonidas - I re-gift.
Tickets for musicals.
Random cheap craft stuff - I make cards but I'm very picky about the materials I use.
A dog - but I don't think this would ever happen, everyone knows I hate dogs.
Anything pink/girly/sparkly.

I love book tokens.

Chocolates. I mean, I like chocolates well enough but we get about 144235533 boxes of the stuff every year and there’s only so much one can eat, especially the Lindor/Ferrero Rocher variety.

I can’t even imagine getting anyone a pet as a surprise. Terrible idea.

And unless you know what I like and don’t react to, please don’t get me perfume or bath smellies.

I once got a Brita water filter from my boyfriend for my birthday. I cried, which in retrospect was pathetic, but really??
And a very cheap hairdryer from the bargain table at Curry's. I'm married to him now so no long-term damage to our relationship

@lemonnandliime

Absolutely awful glittery shite people sell on Facebook, like the wine bottles and glasses covered in glitter. I imagine getting a mouthful of glittery with every mouthful and if washing off when washing the dishes.

Also, 'chocolate bouquets' people sell on Facebook. Usually about £10 worth of chocolate sold for £20 because it's strategically shoved in a flower box.

To add to the handmade crap you can get on FB... box frames with Scrabble tiles in that spell out your family member's names.

I know if I was gifted one, I would gut it and reuse the frame for my own crafts.

@XenoBitch which is exactly what I did with my canvas of words - let my son paint over it.