The worst present someone could ever give you...

[FuckThatBullshit]

It's Sunday and I'm bored! I'll go first:

A kindle. Can't beat a good old fashioned page turning book

A puppy. Absolutely no chance

A spa day. Prefer rollercoasters!

A personalised registration plate. They make my eyeballs cringe

@Barrawarra

Chrysanthemums. No better way to say ‘I don’t love you’.

This actually wins. D.H.Lawrwnce had their number.

Prosecco
Bath stuff (can't use it)
Chocolate (can't eat it since covid)
Stupid hanging decorations that say best friends or love live laugh

A book. I never read unless it's on my Kindle.

Smelly body wash and stuff.

@DoucheCanoe you win the game 🙌🏻

My friend once got me a colonic for my bday

Can you all send your unwanted gifts my way?

A spa day. Can't think of anything worse.
A dog. Maybe that's worse.

Wine. Hardly ever drink it. Love cans of trashy cocktails or Prosecco or gin though.

100% agree with the personalised number plates but will raise that by saying a car too. Ugh would hate a car as a present.

A spa day or massage.
An experience. xh insisted on buying his dad a helicopter flight. But it was 100 miles away and every time he tried to book they cancelled due to weather until it expired. A pair of slippers was more than he deserved.

Wind chimes.

A spa day.
Nightwear, I hate wearing anything in bed because it’s always uncomfortable when I turn over.
Cheap perfume - my eyes run and I sneeze.
Flowers with no fragrance, it’s freesias, pinks or sweet Williams for me.
Plants - I genuinely panic because I know I’ll kill them.

I love my dog, but anything with a picture of that breed on. One only ever needs one pair of fox terrier socks, or mug, or scarf.(if that) And definitely not one that declares I am a “fox terrier mum”
And in retrospect, I would like to apologise to my sister who got cat stuff every year for years.
Marzipan, you can stick it back up the devil’s arse where it came from.

Spa trip
Sexy underwear not a gift for me
Wine hate the stuff
Mugs

Recipe books. Prefer to come up with my own ideas. In the odd occasion I need a recipe, there are plenty on the web.

An NFT.
Or a star from a star registry thing.

My mum did once buy us this wierd DVD betting game thing when you watched clips from international game shows and betted on the outcome. Thing is I hate gambling/games of chance where there is no actual gameplay and most of the clips assumed no-one had heard of Takehashi's castle. I think she bought it not really knowing what it was,

Baylis & Harding set - no

Cheap mugs - only like EB

Cheap candle - especially vanilla

Galaxy chocolate - yuk

@ZZTopGuitarSolo

Perfume. Instamigraine.

Me too. Plus I have no sense of smell so I don't even get any benefit.

NFTs - Non Fungible Tokens - closely allied with Cryptocurrency and blockchain. Also they are SO fugly. Also known as Nasty Fucking Things.

But the satire writes itself:

My mum once bought me a selection of different products for my birthday, a mouse mat, coaster, couple of keyrings, magnets etc.. with a photo of myself on 😂 I absolutely hate photos of myself and refuse to have my photo taken most of the time. She's usually amazing with gifts so I forgave her

Why do pp hate spa days, perfume and flowers?? I hate wine.

Anything that involves me having to arrange childcare (DH is shift worker so often not available to stay home with DC). So pretty much any treatment or experience voucher.

Make up. I’ve never worn any.

Alcohol. I don’t drink.

A tarantula.

Dark chocolate.

Because spa days sound boring as fuck. But then I have no kids and live alone so I don't need to escape to relax I suppose.

Smellies, perfume, spa stuff , flowers. I don’t like watching them die. I’d prefer a houseplant or a plant for the garden.
And scarves. I have two relatives who buy me scarves. I don’t wear scarves very often.