The worst present someone could ever give you...

[FuckThatBullshit]

It's Sunday and I'm bored! I'll go first:

A kindle. Can't beat a good old fashioned page turning book

A puppy. Absolutely no chance

A spa day. Prefer rollercoasters!

A personalised registration plate. They make my eyeballs cringe

Alcohol or beauty type products.

A bowl of tripe

Dinner at a seafood restaurant

That Marie Kondo book about tidying up. Although burning the thing would probably spark joy.

An ‘experience’. Which amounts to someone basically telling you how they think you should spend your time. I’ve been gifted six over the last few years and not been interested in any of them. Why the feck would I want to drive 50 miles to a mediocre chain to have afternoon tea.

To counter, the best present you can get is when someone actually asks what you would like and listens to your answer.

Someone on the AIBU board was seriously considering getting a private health check for their DP for their birthday...
So, that would be a pretty shit present too.

A voucher for having my nails manicured/polished etc. I hate my nails being messed about with and can only tolerate using a nail clipper on them at home to keep them short.

A formula one 'racing experience' or similar because driving terrifies me.

@SnoozeAllDay

Pissecco - I absolutely bloody hate the stuff.

Tbf I don’t think many people would be up for that...

Any kind of ornament.
Framed photo.
Costume jewellery.
Alcohol.
Cheap toiletries especially Baypiss & Harding.
A low denomination voucher. I would rather have a fiver/tenner/20 quid.
An autobiography.

Food. I have to avoid so much because of my IBS I dread having to try new things in case they trigger a flare up!

Facebook tat - not against homemade crafts, but much of it is made by people without any skills.

Keepsakes - just clutters up cupboards etc. don't mind something practical like a mug, as it will get used, but I don't want to be reminded that I'm a decade older.

I really want to make things but I just can’t deal with the idea that it’d be in the same general category as Facebook tat. I think unfortunately you sometimes make more money selling tat than you can selling nice things. Either that or it’s all just a front for drug deals...

(Also I think reading back that my ‘joke’ on the pissecco will just look like I didn’t get the original joke...it made sense in my head )

My worst gift to receive would be probably be hmmm something like an ‘autobiography’ of a 21 year old reality star. Just no.

Anything with legs that breathe
Mobile Phone
Candles
Books - I am trying to get rid of them
Stuff that collects dust.

Tickets to any musical theatre

A cat, our dog would be very upset

Anything marzipan flavoured

A 'live, laugh, love' plaque

Wine! I hate it

Booze! I just think it’s a shit present. It’s my birthday tomorrow and DPs family have dropped loads off, they are lovely and always make an effort for Christmas presents for me but then for my birthday buy me loads of booze. I barely drink at all but never drink in the house. I always try mention in the run up to my birthday that I’ve quit drinking until Christmas or something to try make them decide not to buy me booze

Chlamydia

Clothes. The only person who knows what I like is me.

Random mugs with funny quotes
Anything Baylis and Harding

A rat
Anything from Pandora
Anything in a frame (I.e. that i need to hang on the wall for them to see when they visit)
Clothing in the wrong size

@EyesAsGreenAsAFreshPickledToad

Chlamydia

Brilliant!

You win

2nd hand edible underwear made of sweets all strung together

A big white leather sofa. One of those corner ones.

Anything cheap. I don’t mean inexpensive I mean cheap.
I am happier with something that cost £5 and is worth £5 than something that cost £10 but is worth £2.
To be honest I just like what I like and I find the majority of presents disappointing (I do act grateful though)