You know when you get up in the night to investigate a strange occurrence …

[Nailest]

Do you stop to put on your dressing gown and slippers?

Because people in films and books do, and I think this must be where I’m going wrong. Are my intruders/ghosts/assorted random nightly visitors staying away because they know I will appear incorrectly dressed?

I'm deaf so wouldn't even wake up. Any murdered would a have their corneas burnt out finding me naked in bed though. Kill me quickly please 😂

Blondiechips thank you I really needed that laugh, I was hysterical, especially the phone and the empty Perrier bottle!

@LadyFlumpalot

You've reminded me of the time I went on holiday with some friends and in the middle of the night we decided we had heard a noise and it was clearly an intruder. One of my friends decided to grab a weapon so ran to the kitchen. The place where the knives live... and came back with a whisk.

Turns out it was a deckchair bumping the glass door in the wind, which is a good thing as I'm not sure a thorough whisking would have deterred an actual intruder!

She couldn’t find a knife but found another kitchen implement and thought she’d try it…. It was a whisk she was willing to take!

On the back of this thread, I’ve remembered my friend telling me about when they were burgled one night.

They both woke up, her Dh leapt out of bed and gave chase. She was a bit slower off the mark but also jumped up and gave chase. However, in all the panic, she wasn’t thinking too clearly, and in her mind the most important fact was that her dh shouldn’t be running up the road, chasing a burglar, with no trousers on.

So she was chasing after him shouting “Donald, your trousers! Your trousers!”

And yes, his name really was Donald, and dear friend if you’re on here reading this, I’m sorry for sharing!

I promise that’s a true story (I’ve made myself cry laughing remembering it)

I got up to investigate a middle of the night clinking in the kitchen. Sounded like a cat on a bench. Sure enough, the cat was on the bench, so I roused at her to get off and went back to bed. My brain is quite unique at times and obsessed for a few minutes about cats and my white cat. Took me a while to go "hang on, my cat is black!" I had an interloper who must have seen my cat use the hidden cat flap (under a cabinet). Up I jump. Turn on all the lights in the large open plan lounge, kitchen, dining. Open doors and windows. What followed was a comedic episode of me chasing said cat towards an opening and cat deftly dodging opening at the last minute. Finally dog gets in on the action and cat goes up the blinds in the kitchen. I get a broom and push it outside. Too much middle of the night activity!

When we informed ds 13 we have booked a shack in the woods for the weekend soon, he declared he would be sleeping fully dressed - as apparently murderers and thieves target such places and he needed to be ready for a quick getaway!!
Can't get "Donald Where's Ya Troosers" out my head!!

@k1233

I got up to investigate a middle of the night clinking in the kitchen. Sounded like a cat on a bench. Sure enough, the cat was on the bench, so I roused at her to get off and went back to bed. My brain is quite unique at times and obsessed for a few minutes about cats and my white cat. Took me a while to go "hang on, my cat is black!" I had an interloper who must have seen my cat use the hidden cat flap (under a cabinet). Up I jump. Turn on all the lights in the large open plan lounge, kitchen, dining. Open doors and windows. What followed was a comedic episode of me chasing said cat towards an opening and cat deftly dodging opening at the last minute. Finally dog gets in on the action and cat goes up the blinds in the kitchen. I get a broom and push it outside. Too much middle of the night activity!

But what did you put on to do your nocturnal cat shepherding?

@AffIt

Nothing worse than being chased through the woods by a murderer in bare feet and a skimpy negligee.

Shitting sentence construction fail!

Should read 'Nothing worse than being chased through the woods by a murderer, in bare feet and a skimpy negligee.'

A murderer in bare feet and a skimpy negligee would presumably be fairly easy to get away from.

Oh my god, I'm dyslexic, it took me a bit perseverance to understand what you were correcting and now I can't stop laughing!

@AffIt

Nothing worse than being chased through the woods by a murderer in bare feet and a skimpy negligee.

Shitting sentence construction fail!

Should read 'Nothing worse than being chased through the woods by a murderer, in bare feet and a skimpy negligee.'

A murderer in bare feet and a skimpy negligee would presumably be fairly easy to get away from.

🤣🤣🤣

I'd have to put on my PJ bottoms, my legs need shaving - although the sight may scare off any intruder- feet woukd be OK, I wear crocs as slippers.

But ....... can't see a bloody thing without my contacts and couldn't even bite intruder as teeth are in the bathroom. Oh and one of my hips dosnt work so can't run.

Thinking on it intruder wouldn't hurt me, he would probably think I was already dead. .... till I screamed.

That I can still do....... in my sleep apparently 😂

“Pyri

LadyFlumpalot
You've reminded me of the time I went on holiday with some friends and in the middle of the night we decided we had heard a noise and it was clearly an intruder. One of my friends decided to grab a weapon so ran to the kitchen. The place where the knives live... and came back with a whisk.

Turns out it was a deckchair bumping the glass door in the wind, which is a good thing as I'm not sure a thorough whisking would have deterred an actual intruder!
She couldn’t find a knife but found another kitchen implement and thought she’d try it…. It was a whisk she was willing to take!“

He he this has had me chuckling to myself @Pyri 😁