Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Does your partner, husband or wife look like you?

93 replies

NinaDefoe · 12/03/2022 22:39

I’m reading about lookalike couples!
I met a colleague’s husband fir the first time today and couldn’t believe how similar they looked. They could easily pass as twins never mind siblings.

So, does your’s look like you? Mine doesn’t at all! Do you think it’s common? This couple is the only one I’ve met that does.

Here are some reasons just out of interest...
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-modern-heart/202112/9-reasons-why-some-couples-look-siblings%3famp

OP posts:
PissedOffNeighbour22 · 12/03/2022 23:44

I don't think so other than we're both short and have dark hair and dark eyes. I'm overweight and he's very slim so there's no resemblance in our build etc.

However, my neighbour thought DP was my brother and was very surprised when I said he wasn't.

SheAndHerAreWomen · 12/03/2022 23:47

I know a family - wife, husband, 2 kids - and they all look like each other. So weird!

Kite22 · 12/03/2022 23:51

My first thought was to laugh and say not at all.

Then I thought we are both white.
But that's about it. He tans, I burn. My hair is darker. He is about 7" taller and 6 stone heavier than me. I don't have a beard.

Keladrythesaviour · 12/03/2022 23:53

I think we do. We once got stopped in a shop by an ex-neighbour of my DH who mistook me for one of his sister's. When my MIL corrected her she said "but you look so alike (me and DH)" which was a bit disconcerting. I don't think it's that obvious, but we are if similar height, similar build (I'm slim but both of us are sturdy build) and both have dark brown hair. So I can sort of see the similarity.

housemaus · 12/03/2022 23:58

I know not one but two couples where they genuinely look like twins - I wish it wouldn't be such bad form to share a photo because it's so uncanny.

I actually thought one couple were twins at first because they lived in the same uni flat and I remember thinking it was weird they chose to go to the same uni/be so close instead of meeting new people. Was properly gobsmacked when I found out they were a couple.

(DH and I don't look anything alike - he's red headed with blue eyes, I have dark hair and green eyes!)

CthulhuInDisguise · 13/03/2022 00:01

Our only similarities are skin colour and eyes (although his are much lighter blue than mine). He's very tall (6'3") whereas I'm a foot shorter. He's slim, I'm not. His hair is a lighter brown than my natural colour. He's gorgeous... I apparently have very unusual eyes.

dipdye · 13/03/2022 00:11

Hmm, I suppose we both have quite elfin features really. But he's tall, slim build, I'm shorter and slightly more padded out

Moonchild18 · 13/03/2022 00:17

Oh I have been thinking about this recently, i keep seeing couples who could pass as siblings! 🙈

I did wonder If me and my DH look similar, i don't think we do but it did occur to me perhaps other people think we do and i just don't see it🤷‍♀️

Frannibananni · 13/03/2022 00:17

No. He’s pale with blues eyes I’m brownish with dark brown eyes. We have a mix of children - one that looks exactly like him, one that looks exactly like me and a couple inbetween.

Thewindwhispers · 13/03/2022 00:26

Yep

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 13/03/2022 00:31

I used to work with a lady then when l left and got a new job a few miles away, her husband was the postman. I had never met him but on my first day he delivered our post and l knew it was her husband even though l didn't know that was his area. They are sooo alike! Both lovely!

ClinkeyMonkey · 13/03/2022 00:39

No, but I look very much like I belong in his family, if that makes sense. I strongly resemble a number of his cousins (he has loads and they all look the same). People always mistake me for one of his family. He doesn't look like anyone in my family though!!

Monday55 · 13/03/2022 01:03

This is more common once you have a child with someone. You generally start to look like your partner because of the child who's resembling both of your features in certain ways. So when people look at your child then look at you as a couple you start to look more like siblings with your partner.

Izzabellasasperella · 13/03/2022 01:08

I don't think dh and I look alike at all but the first time my Mil met me she said I looked like I could be his sister!

InTheNightWeWillWish · 13/03/2022 01:41

I don’t think we do and we’ve never been told we do but maybe I’m just not seeing it.

We look more like each other now than we did when we first got together at 20. His hair is darker now and mine is lighter (going grey and highlighting to try and hide the grey in plain sight). I don’t think he looks out of place with my brothers but doesn’t look like them. However, my brothers don’t really look like each other so I think people would be seeing similar traits in height and build rather than facial features. It isn’t always about the obvious build, eye colour, hair colour. It can be things like the cheek bone structure. I’m nothing like my cousin - I have dark hair and dark eyes and she has light hair and blue eyes. If you look at pictures of us though, the cheek bone and eye sockets have the same structure. So people could be finding familiarity in that rather than the obvious of hair colour.

The real phenomenon is dogs who look like their owners. I’ve seen a few of those!

elp30 · 13/03/2022 01:41

My husband is fair-complexioned, blue-eyed and straight brown-haired Englishman.

I am a dark-complexioned, dark brown-eyed and naturally black (now 95% white-haired) curly-haired Mexican woman.

We couldn't be more different physically.

But I have known many couples who do resemble each other and I find it curious that they do.

Simonjt · 13/03/2022 01:46

No, I’m brown he’s white, my eyes are green his blue, my hair is black his is blond. Different faceshap and features, different height and different body types.

Original poster
NinaDefoe · 13/03/2022 05:15

@Gwenhwyfar

I wonder if there's an evolutionary reason, maybe subconsciously thinking the genes are compatible?
Probably! It’s really strange isn’t it?
OP posts:
Original poster
NinaDefoe · 13/03/2022 05:19

Even more interesting that people recognise that they look like their partner’s extended family members.
I do think that many people are attracted to people they find familiar in some way.

OP posts:
garlictwist · 13/03/2022 05:25

I'm quite petite and he is a huge barrel of a man with very large features. We both have brown hair though. I don't think we could pass as siblings.

Turningpurple · 13/03/2022 05:40

I am mixed race, dark hair, dark eyes, olive skin. Dp has dark hair, dark eyes and olive skin though he is clearly white and paler than me. But our features aren't similar and he is 6ft 4 and I am 5ft 7.

He has quite a prominent nose, I have a very small nose. I have quite large eyes, he doesn't. As well as tall he is very broad shoulders, hands are massive, wrists are etc and I am quote petite.

Oddly though when I was with exh, whenever we went anywhere as a whole family so my mum, dad, dbro (when he was single) me and my husband people wokld often assume that dbro was my partner rather than exh.

I was sat a counter having breakfast in the US sat between them and we were talking to the staff, when it was mentioned. So not like I was sitting with dbro or anything. We had it quite a few times, despite the fact that me and my brother do look quite alike.

knittingaddict · 13/03/2022 06:15

Apart from similar eye colour and both having dark hair we look nothing alike. Had our dna tested recently and couldn't be more different. Despite both being white British our dna comes from opposite parts of this country and abroad. The only thing we share is a tiny bit of Irish ancestry.

knittingaddict · 13/03/2022 06:28

@Gwenhwyfar

I wonder if there's an evolutionary reason, maybe subconsciously thinking the genes are compatible?
But having very different genes is better in an evolutionary sense. Having close gene matches is not a great idea, which is why first cousin marriages are so problematic.

It's probably just as well that my husband and I have such different genes. In both of our family histories there was a huge amount of intermarriage in a very small gene pool ie tiny villages where you married your neighbours for generations. This is probably true for lots of family trees. My great grandparents were also first cousins, so a bit of new, very unrelated blood is probably a good idea

Daisychainsandglitter · 13/03/2022 06:38

No my DH is tall, slim, mousy hair, brown eyes and wears glasses. I am the complete opposite!

Turningpurple · 13/03/2022 06:48

It's probably just as well that my husband and I have such different genes. In both of our family histories there was a huge amount of intermarriage in a very small gene pool ie tiny villages where you married your neighbours for generations. This is probably true for lots of family trees. My great grandparents were also first cousins, so a bit of new, very unrelated blood is probably a good idea*

Mums family and dad's family were the same up until my nana married my greek grandad. Then mum and dad's families come from different continents. We often joke it was about time there was some different dna thrown in to both sides Grin

I agree I bet its quite common though.