TheBombThatWillBringUsTogether ·
12/03/2022 21:53
I turned 40 a few months ago. I was fine at the time, but now I feel like I am sliding into depression. The same thing happened when I turned 30 and here I am again - where did that decade go? I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what I want to do.
I have no career, I left a promising career three years ago to move abroad, which I don't regret at all. It's been so much better in every way living where I do. I didn't want to stay in my previous career. The problem is, I don't know what to do now. I've been doing some freelance work that I enjoy well enough, but it's not a career and it's not what I want to do forever.
I was a high achiever at school, everyone expected me to have some amazing career, but I've never found my thing. I still don't know what it is.
I have a nice enough life, though not much money. That doesn't bother me so much, though it would be nice to have more. What's missing is the fulfilment. I don't have children and don't want them. I need fulfilling work, but how the hell do I find it when I don't know what I want to do? How the fuck do you even start when you're already middle aged? If I start something new now, everyone else will be literally half my age.
I don't know why I'm posting this, maybe in the hope that others have been through it? Everyone on MN seems to be such a high achiever though.