I have been friends with her since we were teenagers. We were definitely best friends but as the years went by, we became increasingly distant. She has always been kind and a good listener but has the typical upper middle class 'English reserve' so not much spontaneous emotion on show.
She started dating much earlier than I did. Even when she chose to lose her virginity, it was clearly more about completing a rite of passage rather than emotionally engaging. She went through breakups without expressing any emotions even though she never instigated these. She always stated that she hoped for a serious relationship but she has not changed her approach towards them. Arranging dates is always done as though it is an administrative procedure. This has become worse since she immersed herself into OLD.
She works in different cities around the world. Typically, she will go onto dating apps just before relocating and set up dates and she is usually intimate with a new person within a week of moving. However, as I said, there is no sign of excitement or unbridled passion. It is all about filling in a timetable efficiently and establishing (in a consistently rigid ratio) her work-entertainment-chores-friends-dating balance.
She always obliges wrt consummating the relationships even when she feels it is hopeless and is also emotionless in the way in which she relays this.
Once she allowed a guy back simply because he stated that he had parked near her flat as they left the restaurant because he had paid for the meal and she thought it was fair to award him a shag for it even though there was no spark or prospect of another date. She will oblige every time in a dutiful drab way like old married couples. Her ratio of time allocated to the relationship doesn't change through time either. The guys invariably dump her and she is nonplussed in her reaction and immediately gets back on the apps in robotic fashion. Consequently, her 'number' is now huge even though she is a well-spoken, cultured, demure sort.
She still maintains that she would like a serious relationship but everything in her approach and demeanour seems wrong (unless this is normal and I have misunderstood her. It bothers me to such an extent that I now question whether she is even emotionally engaged as a friend or simply going through the correct motions. What could it be?