Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

AIBU 15 year olds outfit choices

81 replies

Kak19 · 27/02/2022 20:01

My 15 year old is wanting to wear very revealing bodycon dresses, that are extremely short, and I don't want her to wear clothes like that yet, she's only 15 and technically not an adult, and I think she's dressing beyond her years the outfits she's looking at are things you would expect to see in a nightclub on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday, not a friends sweet 16.

AIBU I'm not wanting her to wear these?

Thank you

AIBU 15 year olds outfit choices
OP posts:
buddylicious · 28/02/2022 05:35

@GreyCarpet

Is this a 15 year old daughter you actually have or hypothetical..?

No, I don't have a 15 year old daughter. I have a 16 year old daughter. All the time she's still at school then I won't let her wear things like that!

dancemom · 28/02/2022 05:47

My dd is 16. She wouldn't wear these things but only because she goes for a different aesthetic.

I'm in the pick your battles camp. If you can't wear these things when you are 16 then when can you. It's just clothes.

Dsisproblem · 28/02/2022 05:54

I think you need to compromise. How about saying no side boob but get over the tight and short part? I agree, she'll just get changed at a friends if you block her

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Clothing General style & beauty
trollopolis · 28/02/2022 05:56

I think this thread is wrong to be setting up an opposition between 'sweet sixteen' and what a prostitute might wear.

Tell your DD not to wear clothes you dislike without he stereotypes.

Don't feed them the good girl/bad girl Madonna/whore trope

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/02/2022 06:13

I understand at 15 you don’t have a great deal of say, unless you cut your dd off financially. Even then, she will sneak something out or borrow from a friend.

Can you guide her more to the second picture with decent frontal coverage or fourth picture? They aren’t too bad whereas the pant free, almost naked breast ones seem highly inappropriate.

ufucoffee · 28/02/2022 06:39

I wouldn't have let my daughter where anything like this when she was that age. If she had wore them by getting changed at a friends house without my knowledge then so be it. But me allowing it would be condoning it and there is no way I would. Tbh I'd have been horrified if she wore anything thing like the bottom no knicker one at any age.

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/02/2022 06:41

Has your dd see the story of the young woman, whose dress fell apart and rather than help her, men tried to grope her as she walked back to her hotel. www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/chain-mail-dress-fell-apart-22673524

Kanaloa · 28/02/2022 06:49

If I was you I would take her shopping and try to find a decent compromise. I don’t mean try and push her into wearing something you like that she doesn’t, but more trying to find a dress that fits what she wants but that you like. I think that’s better than the alternative, which is her leaving the house in something she knows you won’t mind then changing at a friend’s house.

Whatwouldscullydo · 28/02/2022 06:56

Can I just say please fir thr love of God please don't let any of these dds think.they are "asking for it" by wearing the dresses.

The adult perverts are responsible for their behaviour. Not the teenage girl.

I.was offered money fir sex in a full length parka In my 20s..its not the clothes..

What a horrible insinuation.

The dresses are ghastly. With any luck the first time she wears one she will be freezing cold and spend the whole night adjusting it and she won't be bothered about it again.

Compromise, pick one you wouod be more happy for her ro wear that perhaps doesn't have so many bits cut out. That's gotta be uncomfortable/annoying.

But do not tell her she's asking fir trouble fgs Sad

Pizzadreams · 28/02/2022 07:04

I also think find a compromise. Number two and four, with trainers and a hoodie going to her mates house is ok, not great but ok. Number one and three are for me unacceptable.

She wants to fit in with her friends, a blanket no is just going to cause war, resentment and sneaking around. You are young enough to remember this age and know that, so find a compromise.

This is the age you need to keep her close, so she confides in uou and your relationship develops further as it’s a turbulent age. A blanket no will see you pushing her away and her running away fast.

Find a compromise and choose your words carefully, accept her need to be autonomous in her dress, but talk to her and find a middle ground.

Fantail · 28/02/2022 07:07

Out of the four I’d probably cut my losses and say yes to one of 2 or 4. 1 and 3 with all the cut outs are really not going to work on many body types because the cut outs have to go in exactly the right places.

Yes they are short, but girls have been wearing short skirts since the 60s.

If you are buying, then you get a say - and I’d work on a compromise.

If she has her own money then she can make her own regrettable, uncomfortable fashion choices that in a couple of years time she’ll look at social media and regret.

Kanaloa · 28/02/2022 07:09

Although if it’s euphoria themed is there no way you could get her to go for a different look? I haven’t actually seen it but have seen pics of girls in colourful clothes almost like 90s style with sparkly makeup, which while daft looking I think is a bit less ‘adult.’

Cyberpunk2077 · 28/02/2022 07:13

Be a cool mum and say everyone's going to go as Maddy (the dresses you see)

Encourage her to go as Lexi

Light hearted

AIBU 15 year olds outfit choices
AIBU 15 year olds outfit choices
Positivelyhopeful1 · 28/02/2022 07:21

We must have the same daughter! I don't like the outfits either, but she went to a party at a friends house, there were 5 girls, they were all dressed like this. I would feel more uncomfortable if she was out in public, but at the same time, aren't we trying to raise a generation that should be able to wear what they want without judgement or shame?

ThatsNotMyGolem · 28/02/2022 07:22

clothing choices is something I always said I'd never fight with my children over.

But why? To me that's the very basis of parenting - to guide your children's choices.

Do you honestly think it's ok for her to go out looking like a pervert's wet dream? Why aren't you protecting her from that?

VikingVolva · 28/02/2022 07:24

Do you honestly think it's ok for her to go out looking like a pervert's wet dream? Why aren't you protecting her from that?

Because I want men sanctioned for being creeps, not women limited.

aren't we trying to raise a generation that should be able to wear what they want without judgement or shame?

Absolutely

Etinoxaurus · 28/02/2022 07:28

@GreyCarpet

My daughter is also 15.

She wears similar.

I pick my battles and clothing choices is something I always said I'd never fight with my children over.

Part of me rolls my eyes and part of me is just pleased she has the confidence and freedom to express herself.

Exactly this. Mine wore similar at that age- 10 years on them stomp around looking like Kay Tempest. My only caveat would be where will she be wearing it? Not on public transport or in clubs. Restaurants, friends’ houses? Fine.
Whatwouldscullydo · 28/02/2022 07:33

Do you honestly think it's ok for her to go out looking like a pervert's wet dream? Why aren't you protecting her from that?

You know there's a museum somewhere that holds an exhibit of what women and girls were wearing when they got raped.

It includes a pair of little kids pyjamas.

And regular clothes like jeans and t shirts.

Wtf victim blaming Shit.

The men are responsible for their own behaviour

Etinoxaurus · 28/02/2022 07:39

@ThatsNotMyGolem

clothing choices is something I always said I'd never fight with my children over.

But why? To me that's the very basis of parenting - to guide your children's choices.

Do you honestly think it's ok for her to go out looking like a pervert's wet dream? Why aren't you protecting her from that?

Putting to one side the victim blaming Hmm, its better for out daughters to notice the effect certain clothes have on the school bus in the daytime or at a friend’s house party than in a taxi rank or club at midnight aged 20 when she’s out of your control.
NewtoHolland · 28/02/2022 07:44

Could you maybe offer to treat her to the most modest option? Number 3 I'd fine very hard to let my daughter out in I think ..but
If you say no they buy them and get changed at a friend's house.

Really disappointing the antiquated views about what women wear making them unsafe.

Original poster
Kak19 · 28/02/2022 07:57

@Whatwouldscullydo

Can I just say please fir thr love of God please don't let any of these dds think.they are "asking for it" by wearing the dresses.

The adult perverts are responsible for their behaviour. Not the teenage girl.

I.was offered money fir sex in a full length parka In my 20s..its not the clothes..

What a horrible insinuation.

The dresses are ghastly. With any luck the first time she wears one she will be freezing cold and spend the whole night adjusting it and she won't be bothered about it again.

Compromise, pick one you wouod be more happy for her ro wear that perhaps doesn't have so many bits cut out. That's gotta be uncomfortable/annoying.

But do not tell her she's asking fir trouble fgs Sad

At no point have I said she’s asking for trouble, I would never say that, and have never said that, I do not agree with that stereotype! It’s never the woman’s fault ever! And clothes don’t condone it! My point is she’s 15 and these are disgusting tacky dresses! I don’t want to see my 15 year old dressed like this! But yes I have taken all the advice and am willing to allow her to wear one and think of it as Halloween/costume party! At least on the plus side it’s a house party, and she has said she will be wearing trainers with it and an open shirt over it!
OP posts:
Original poster
Kak19 · 28/02/2022 07:58

@Cyberpunk2077

Be a cool mum and say everyone's going to go as Maddy (the dresses you see)

Encourage her to go as Lexi

Light hearted

I am definitely going to try this! I did suggest going as rue! Lol Baggy jumpers etc! Lol
OP posts:
fairylightsandwaxmelts · 28/02/2022 08:13

[quote Mummyoflittledragon]Has your dd see the story of the young woman, whose dress fell apart and rather than help her, men tried to grope her as she walked back to her hotel. www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/chain-mail-dress-fell-apart-22673524[/quote]
Men will grope your no matter what your wearing.

It's 2022. Can we move on from this victim-blaming bullshit now?

MrsBerthaRochester · 28/02/2022 08:18

This is porn culture at work right here. Young girls feeling they have to dress hyper sexually and pose like blow up sex dolls on social media. This is damaging a generation of children,girls and boys and we seem to be turning a blind eye to it.

isthismylifenow · 28/02/2022 08:51

I didn't look at the pictures when I posted earlier.

Number 2 and number 4 are really not that bad. They would be something my dd would like and I wouldn't have an issue with her wearing these. The other two are somewhat revealing yes, but it is what is in fashion for the summer. I think we may be a season ahead of you, and I have seen a few of this style about.

At least on the plus side it’s a house party, and she has said she will be wearing trainers with it and an open shirt over it!

This is will be the case until she gets to the party I reckon.