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Original poster

Did you take your mum wedding dress shopping?

108 replies

JammyCandy · 27/02/2022 14:16

….Assuming you get on with her and that she was physically able to participate in wedding dress shopping.

OP posts:

icelollycraving · 27/02/2022 17:36

I found my dress with my sister. I had planned on a couple of hundred on a monsoon type dress. We were getting married on the beach and so thought something pretty but not ott. Thing is, I’d have loved a massive wedding here. She convinced me that I’d always wanted a meringue, so go for it. Acres of tulle. I loved it, blew my budget but felt a bit nervous of dh’s reaction and ordered it.
Took my mum to the fitting, she couldn’t have given a shit really. We are very close but she’s always been quite a tough love mum. I felt really deflated when we left.
She didn’t come to the wedding and this was her opportunity to see me in it. We paid for family to come to the wedding, her travel insurance (costly as she has lots of pre existing conditions) etc and she changed her mind.
I felt quite upset with her. I hope if and when Ds gets married, that I get on with his fiancée.

Flippydip · 27/02/2022 17:37

I didn't, but I bought my dress online and that was that!

gavisconismyfriend · 27/02/2022 17:37

Can’t think of anything worse. She would have looked disparagingly at me in pretty much anything, made snide remarks about weight and generally been negative.

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Changethetoner · 27/02/2022 17:38

No, because I was older (30+) and had been living away from home for years. My parents were not paying for the wedding. I went with a friend.

Kite22 · 27/02/2022 17:41

Yes, to look at styles in the first place.
My friend was making my dress so I went with my friend, my Mum and my sister.

Shesellsseashellsontheseashore · 27/02/2022 17:43

Yes and I took my sisters too. The same happened for both of my sisters too and Mum and Dad paid for all of our dresses. I no longer have my Mum but I'm very grateful for the memories and that she was able to participate in all of our weddings.

2anddone · 27/02/2022 17:46

She thinks I did 😉😉 but in reality I went with my best friend round lots of shops and had a lovely day.
When I found the dress I wanted I asked the shop owner to not mention I had been in before when I came back with my mum to double check it really was 'the one'.
Shop owner was amazing!! Said it happens all the time 🤣even got a couple of others out for me to try on before 'finding' the one I ended up with!

TheFlis12345 · 27/02/2022 17:46

Yes I went with my Mum and MOH. We had an absolutely lovely day. They both took my lead on what I liked and didn’t and made helpful suggestions without any pressure. When I found ‘the one’ we all got a bit teary and my mum practically threw her bank card at the shop assistant in excitement

Sfumato · 27/02/2022 17:47

Gosh, no. I love my mother, but she has a lot of very prescriptive ideas about what constitutes 'feminine and flattering', and is also terrified of any form of high-end shop assistant.

(In fact, I got married in an old dress with two witnesses in the end, anyway, but even with more time and an interest in trying on wedding dresses, she wouldn't have been my first choice.)

CinstonWhurchill · 27/02/2022 17:47

No, i did it all by myself.

My auntie came over from Ireland to one very late fitting
, in an attempt to show some interest on behalf of my mums family. Mum has had mental health issues all my /her life. I did it alone.

BlueThursday · 27/02/2022 17:49

I went with my bridesmaids and had a lovely time. I took my mother and MIL for a “second viewing” and my mother stomped off on a huff over how much attention I was getting, resulting in a show down in the city centre

My lovely MIL took me for dinner to cheer me up

lanbro · 27/02/2022 17:55

Yes, and my sister and dad, parents paid for it

OrganisedChaos22 · 27/02/2022 18:00

No. I ordered an 'occasion' dress from Debenhams.
I hate hate wearing dresses. I had only ever worn 1 in adult life.
I get very flustered in shops and trying stuff on. So I ordered what I liked X2 size. and tried at home returned the other.

ginislife · 27/02/2022 18:01

No, and she was really really upset. I still regret it 35 years on and she's been gone over 20 years.

Enko · 27/02/2022 18:04

We went wedding dress shopping but she didn't see my dress as I had one made. Mil was actually more involved

AngelinaFibres · 27/02/2022 18:15

@JammyCandy

I took mine but she wasn’t there the day I found “the one”

My mum *loved” it & it meant the world to her

My friend’s not invited her mum (who lives locally & they get on well) and was a bit when I asked her

I took my mum wedding dress shopping for both my weddings. My American DIL asked me to go wedding dress shopping on mother's day 3 years ago. Her mum was in Idaho and she is in the UK. Went with her and her best friend from Uni. As a mum of 2 boys I never thought I would get the chance. It was one of the loveliest experiences of my life.

WhatsitWiggle · 27/02/2022 18:19

Yes - she was paying for it! She thought a particular style would suit me, and I thought it wouldn't, so it was good for her to see in the flesh that it didn't work. We did find the perfect dress together. She also came shopping with me and the bridesmaids for their dresses.

We're not especially close but I couldn't imagine not involving her.

ExtremelyDelighted · 27/02/2022 18:22

Yes, because it seemed like the right thing to do, but to be honest, it just felt really awkward, she didn't have a clue and neither did I and I just didn't like any of them. I never, ever shop for clothes with other people so it was a strange thing to be doing anyway. MIL made one for me in the end, that was far better, we did all the shopping for fabric and patterns together, DM was involved with a lot of the other aspects of the wedding though.

MrsBerthaRochester · 27/02/2022 18:46

Yes because my mum was paying for it. Only went to two shops and tried on one dress. My mum was happy as it was "only" £350 until she realised that was just for the top! It was a corset style top and tulle skirt.
I refused to tell mil any details of the dress as I knew she would make a snide comment and sure enough she asked me at the reception if I would be selling it. When I said no she said noone else would probably want that colour anyway! It was a pale pink dress so hardly outrageous! Cowbag.

Fizbosshoes · 27/02/2022 18:51

Yes, my mum came to every shop I went to to look at dresses and I went with her to buy her outfit. Its a nice memory, I was disappointed for my Dsis that our mum had passed away when she was getting married and looking at dresses.

RedScarfJamjar · 27/02/2022 18:52

Took my mum and my nan. Nan bought my veil, mum and I split the cost of the dress.

Off the peg, 3 days before the wedding

muddyford · 27/02/2022 18:53

I had already chosen mine (paid for it myself) but took my mother to see it before I handed over the cash.

YoComoManzanas · 27/02/2022 18:55

No. We get on but have completely different outlooks on style and life.

ButterflyBitch · 27/02/2022 19:02

Yes because she never had that experience with my sister and I knew she felt sad about it, so when she came to visit I took her dress shopping. Wasn’t expecting to find my dress on the first trip out but I did so it was a lovely experience for us both.

ukborn · 27/02/2022 19:29

No, I had it made so never went. But she wasn't really well then either - I tried to involve her more in other planning but felt some resistance. I really wanted her to make my cake, her Christmas cake recipe she used for her own wedding. But she wasn't up for it (she was mid 79s when I got married, but lived for over a decade after). She did get better and I had a wonderful wedding.
But I think it is a thing, and hope my daughter wants me to help her when the time comes.

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