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Original poster

Child is about to become glasses none compliant, can I stop this?

102 replies

GlassesMustBeWornButWont · 26/02/2022 16:47

DC aged 6 got first pair of glasses a few months ago. They were really excited to have glasses so I thought we’d have no issues.

But we do. They flat out refuse to wear them; if they do wear them they sneak them off their face when not looking, refuses to take them to out of school activities, and will often refuse to wear them at all at school.

When asked why they say the glasses annoy them. I’ve taken the glasses and DC to have them adjusted 3 times, both the arms at the back and the nose bit (which is plastic anyway not the rubber ones) but it’s not helped.

School have started sending DC home if they get a headache so it’s also affecting education. School will not force them to wear the glasses, they will ask once that they wear them but won’t argue with her, but then send home if they get a headache due to covid rules.

I can’t go on like this, every morning is a battle of me trying to persuade DC to wear their glasses and them refusing. I don’t know what else to do.

Both me and DCs dad (my ExH) wear glasses as do most of my family including 1 of my DNs (whose also 6) and several of DCs classmates have glasses so they’re seeing them regularly.

I’ve tried bribery already saying they can have a treat if we go a day, then 2 etc without them coming off accept for swimming, showers and sleep but DC doesn’t care, I’ve threatened to stop out of school activities but they just shrug. I’ve tried asking why and changing the glasses, I even offered to get a brand new pair (at my expense) if they prefer, but they said they just don’t like them.

They have an eye condition so they need to wear the glasses because of that.

Any ideas on how to get them to wear them?

OP posts:
Original poster
GlassesMustBeWornButWont · 28/02/2022 15:56

So it turns out I was wrong, someone in class had said something to her Sad

Senco pulled me over at pick up and said she'd had a word with DD about the glasses and she got very upset because someone in her class had said she looked weird with glasses and thats why she didn't want to wear them.

Senco dealt with it, and DD said the child apologised in front of Senco and then the Senco said the child wanted to ask DD some questions about her glasses. Apparently she loved being "interviewed" and the child told her her glasses are cool now.

She's worn them all afternoon since, all the staff bigged it up and told her she looked pretty and grown up and she's been fine!

Can't believe she didn't tell me though Sad

OP posts:
RedWingBoots · 28/02/2022 16:02

OP I can.

That's why I mentioned in one of my post all the people telling my DD her glasses looked good on her.

Tippexy · 28/02/2022 16:03

Considering you’ve gone to the effort of name changing for this innocuous thread, why not state he/she?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General health
Sirzy · 28/02/2022 16:05

Sorry she has been through that but hopefully now she settles to them

Positivelyhopeful1 · 28/02/2022 16:22

I'm wondering whether you need to take a break from it for a while. She's not wearing them anyway, so do you think it might be worth just not mentioning it for a couple of weeks, but have the glasses available to her. See if once the pressure is off if she wears them for abit bug make sure you don't say anything if you see her with them on and go from there. If she still continues to not wear them, could you do a half hour a day wearing them....?

Positivelyhopeful1 · 28/02/2022 16:23

Sorry, just read last post.
So glad you got to the bottom of it!

Mariposista · 28/02/2022 16:35

Gosh I don’t have any advice as it sounds like you have exhausted everything I would suggest. What awful defiance! Just keep going with withdrawal of privileges, no birthday parties (even their own), no fun at weekends, and of course praise good behaviour.

Bluetrews25 · 28/02/2022 16:45

Aww!
Not nice to be told you look funny!
Lovely Granny to take her to B&M - I want to be a granny like that one day.
I hope this is the start of resolution for you, OP.

DorotheaFrazil · 28/02/2022 17:10

Glad you managed to get to the bottom of it. My DD2 (aged 12 Yr8) has recently started wearing glasses so if you feel your DD needs some extra encouragement, I can print off a photo of my DD2 wearing her new glasses and send it with a note telling her how cool glasses wearing is. Encouragement from a 'big girl' might help?

Original poster
GlassesMustBeWornButWont · 28/02/2022 17:34

She's taken her glasses off to watch TV, but she's worn them all afternoon and while eating tonight so do I just leave her as she'll be in bed in the next hour to hour and a half anyway?

OP posts:
BishopBrennansArse · 28/02/2022 17:34

I have squints in both eyes. The consultant once prescribed me such a thick prism it hurt me to wear them. In the end it was found that actually lessening the correction was vilest as despite it not being spot on I could tolerate wearing the glasses and some correction is better than none.

Hope your idea works, OP.

Random789 · 28/02/2022 17:43

So glad that it is sorted. My normally very easy-going son refused to wear his glasses for months on end, claimed he didn't need them but completely embraced contact lenses as soon as he was old enough to have them. I never got to the bottom of his glasses refusal and it is sad to think of him having struggled with less-than-perfect vision for some considerable time.

Original poster
GlassesMustBeWornButWont · 28/02/2022 17:47

@Random789

So glad that it is sorted. My normally very easy-going son refused to wear his glasses for months on end, claimed he didn't need them but completely embraced contact lenses as soon as he was old enough to have them. I never got to the bottom of his glasses refusal and it is sad to think of him having struggled with less-than-perfect vision for some considerable time.
@Random789 I think with DD it was the comment about being weird along with her not seeing the need. She's had the squint since birth and the correction attempt was at age 5, plus she'd had patches before then so to her it's "normal" vision. I wonder if in her head she was struggling to adjust to being able to see properly and then the comment just made her think "why bother?" even though she can't say if it makes sense?
OP posts:
Wexone · 28/02/2022 17:54

@GlassesMustBeWornButWont Kate Moss has a lazy eye too and she is a world famous super model, that might help her in her confidence

RedWingBoots · 28/02/2022 18:07

@GlassesMustBeWornButWont

She's taken her glasses off to watch TV, but she's worn them all afternoon and while eating tonight so do I just leave her as she'll be in bed in the next hour to hour and a half anyway?
Yes leave her.

Only my friends whose vision is really bad so they would be a danger to themselves walking around their own home wear their glasses all the time at home.

twelly · 28/02/2022 18:26

I am appalled at the school's approach - it is a cop out to send the child home.

Prettynails · 28/02/2022 18:31

Better of wills here.

Find a punishment that works - eg happy to sit in her room? Happy to sit in there in the dark? Headache - lights off etc.
no reading as no glasses. No crafts. No kindle. No tv but earn those if she wears the glasses for 30 minutes then an hour and so on.

CallyfromBlakes7 · 28/02/2022 18:32

@twelly

I am appalled at the school's approach - it is a cop out to send the child home.
Yes, it's amazing that it took all this time to find out that another child had said mean things. Much better to say a headache that they knew was related to the eyes must be covid every time. I'd be really cross about that OP! But anyway it's sorted out so probably best to move on.
EmpressCixi · 28/02/2022 18:35

“Prescription is:

Right
+0.75 -0.25 65

Left
+5.75 -2.5 143“

Not an optometrist but my eyes also have similar difference between diopters and I have the issue that glasses give me double vision because my eyes are so different from each other. I literally have to wear contacts. Have you asked your child whether she can actually see better with the glasses on? The hospital consultant explained to me when you have eyes that are several diopters apart the glasses will create different sized corrected images on the retinas and the brain sometimes cannot merge them into one clear image so you get double vision. As well as contact, one of my eyes is under corrected so I have monocular vision....one eye for close up and one for far away. I’d talk to your DD because it might be a reason.

Random789 · 28/02/2022 18:44

I think you are right, @GlassesMustBeWornButWont. It IS a struggle to adjust to corrected vision, as well as to the hasstle of glasses. And until a child has been through that period of struggle, they may not understand why it is worth bothering. Even a small unkind remark would be enough to put a child off in that situation

Original poster
GlassesMustBeWornButWont · 01/03/2022 16:51

In defense of the school over the headaches, it's the HT or Receptionist who decides to send them home. Senco is someone different.

DDs told me the Senco says she can take her glasses off for playtime (including lunchtime play but worn for eating I assume) and PE, but if she keeps them on at all other times on Friday she can help choose some new books for the school library from the book fair that arrives tomorrow.

DD is really up for that for some reason!

OP posts:
Loopyloulou007 · 01/03/2022 20:38

My boy had glasses from two and hated them, got him the ones, that hook at the back of the ear. The optician did say get two pairs as you always have a spare. She was soooo right. He got through so many pairs of glasses, he was fine wearing them, as could see much better, I swear by the prescription we were just a blur before that, but every time we came home from nursery, was always stuck in traffic for an hour and he would fling them out the window and I would hear the car behind rolling over them. If it wasn't his glasses, it would be anything he could throw out, lunch box, book bag, was forever having to get out the car and retrieve stuff. Normally an hour stuck in traffic, so not really moving. You would think, just close the window, but this was in the summer and only opened a little and if he couldn't get it out of his, he flung em out of mine. Bloody nightmare. I would alternate going back to different opticians to get replacements.

He got used to them eventually. I would suggest start off wearing them, for a little time and then praise, increase time, praise more and before you know it, they don't even realise they wear them. I also advise to keep your windows closed while they are in the back.

Good luck.

Original poster
GlassesMustBeWornButWont · 04/04/2022 19:14

Thought I'd update and say DDs worn her glasses at school everyday since the Senco got involved and stopped the teasing.

She's gone up 2 bookbands and earnt herself a certificate for for being grown up and looking after her glasses.

She loves them now and I struggle to get her to take them off.

Thank you all for helping me resolve this situation!

OP posts:
Wexone · 04/04/2022 19:59

@GlassesMustBeWornButWont excellent news. Well done you both

happyjules · 04/04/2022 20:36

Both my Daughters have been wearing glasses since before primary school age. We struggled to the youngest to wear them all day as despite plenty of adjusting they didn't sit right on her face. This is a common problem as children's frames are typically scaled down adult frames and hear lies the problem as children's faces are different in proportion to adults. Our local independent opticians stocked a range called Zoobug which were correctly proportioned. Problem solved, all be it at over sixty pounds for the frames. Painful as single parent on a low income but I would gladly had lived in baked beans on toast to be able to afford them. As soon as she put them on you could see that they fitted and didn't move at all, ever, so they were worn all day every day with no problems. They will be a reason you child doesn't want to wear their glasses, you've just got to work out what the issue us. Good luck