Child is about to become glasses none compliant, can I stop this?

[GlassesMustBeWornButWont]

DC aged 6 got first pair of glasses a few months ago. They were really excited to have glasses so I thought we’d have no issues.

But we do. They flat out refuse to wear them; if they do wear them they sneak them off their face when not looking, refuses to take them to out of school activities, and will often refuse to wear them at all at school.

When asked why they say the glasses annoy them. I’ve taken the glasses and DC to have them adjusted 3 times, both the arms at the back and the nose bit (which is plastic anyway not the rubber ones) but it’s not helped.

School have started sending DC home if they get a headache so it’s also affecting education. School will not force them to wear the glasses, they will ask once that they wear them but won’t argue with her, but then send home if they get a headache due to covid rules.

I can’t go on like this, every morning is a battle of me trying to persuade DC to wear their glasses and them refusing. I don’t know what else to do.

Both me and DCs dad (my ExH) wear glasses as do most of my family including 1 of my DNs (whose also 6) and several of DCs classmates have glasses so they’re seeing them regularly.

I’ve tried bribery already saying they can have a treat if we go a day, then 2 etc without them coming off accept for swimming, showers and sleep but DC doesn’t care, I’ve threatened to stop out of school activities but they just shrug. I’ve tried asking why and changing the glasses, I even offered to get a brand new pair (at my expense) if they prefer, but they said they just don’t like them.

They have an eye condition so they need to wear the glasses because of that.

Any ideas on how to get them to wear them?

Worth getting advice from a specialist. How would covering the “good” eye affect her? Could it make her see she needs glasses?

I'm another one couldn't cope with an apparently correct astigmatism prescription, and mine was a fairly minor one. The glasses did make everything sharper, but they also made me feel like everything was trying to twist and gave me a real headache using them. I never used the new glasses, and kept using my old ones as I could see more than well enough with them for all purposes. I've also been sensitive to prescription changes, with changes in the main number giving me headaches for a day or so, but this was something quite different, it made me feel nauseous. No amount of rewards could have got me to have worn them for any length of time.

@Madbadandusuallysad

Is it at all possible she is being teased about glasses? I was at primary school and secondary, I would then try to manage without them to stop the taunts and made my eye health worse.

@Madbadandusuallysad I doubt it as some of her classmates have glasses and they were all really disappointed for her when her surgery didn't work.

@Sirzy

When you are sure the prescription is correct I would build it up very gradually, so wearing for one 10 minute episode of a favourite show or something to start with.

I assume patching has been tried previously?

@Sirzy It has been but we've been told she may have to have another course of patching now she has the glasses.

That may help her get used to the glasses as she would appreciate the difference it makes more with the glasses.

Good luck finding what works for her

I have some of the patches left from after her surgery so I might show her why she needs the glasses with the patches. Great idea @Sirzy

I can still build up and use the b+m trip to get her to wear them.

Hi op I’m an orthoptist , if her left eye is squinting when the glasses are on the brain is likely to be suppressing the left eye so that it is not being used unless her right eye is covered and therefore she may not notice-any visual benefit having the glasses on as the prescription in the right eye is minimal. If the squint is controlled with the glasses on that is a different situation and wearing the glasses will help visual development of the left eye and encourage binocular vision. When there is a big difference between the prescription of the two eyes and there is binocular vision the image from the eye with the higher + prescription will be magnified compared to the other eye and some children can find that difficult to tolerate

@Rodders92

Hi op I’m an orthoptist , if her left eye is squinting when the glasses are on the brain is likely to be suppressing the left eye so that it is not being used unless her right eye is covered and therefore she may not notice-any visual benefit having the glasses on as the prescription in the right eye is minimal. If the squint is controlled with the glasses on that is a different situation and wearing the glasses will help visual development of the left eye and encourage binocular vision. When there is a big difference between the prescription of the two eyes and there is binocular vision the image from the eye with the higher + prescription will be magnified compared to the other eye and some children can find that difficult to tolerate

@Rodders92 Thank you for the explanation. I have some patches left from after her surgery, is it worth covering her right eye with a patch for a while? She might end up having patches again anyway now she has the glasses.

Posters like @FantasticFebruary are I creobly helpful with their ‘just get her told’ attitude. Of course OP has tried that and there’s no suggestion that she’s pussy footing around.

If you have a kid with a medical condition who isn’t complying with what they’re meant to do, it’s incredibly stressful. So try to help the OP or bugger off.

Can you phone her consultant on Monday and ask if she thinks patching will help?

Sorry, that was supposed to be *incredibly unhelpful

@Sirzy

Can you phone her consultant on Monday and ask if she thinks patching will help?

@Sirzy I definitely want to have a chat to the consultant anyway so that's a good idea.

It might be a good idea using a patch to show her that the left eye can see better with the glasses on but I wouldn’t suggest starting regular patching without advice from the eye team. It is quite usual for patching to be stopped and restarted depending on how stable the level of visual acuity is in the left eye . It can be very tricky when children need a strong prescription in one eye but the other eye only has a minimal prescription . If her left eye is straighter or even straight with the glasses on you could even show her that in a mirror and explain the glasses are helping to keep the eye straight

@Rodders92

It might be a good idea using a patch to show her that the left eye can see better with the glasses on but I wouldn’t suggest starting regular patching without advice from the eye team. It is quite usual for patching to be stopped and restarted depending on how stable the level of visual acuity is in the left eye . It can be very tricky when children need a strong prescription in one eye but the other eye only has a minimal prescription . If her left eye is straighter or even straight with the glasses on you could even show her that in a mirror and explain the glasses are helping to keep the eye straight

@Rodders92 On photos I can see the difference with and without the glasses on. The squint without glasses is off the scale for measurements, with the glasses on it's definitely straighter. I can show her thanks!

I've worn glasses since I was a child and have never felt comfortable in plastic frame. They are really uncomfortable. Metal frames with proper adjustable nose pieces are much better.

@Okeydoky

I've worn glasses since I was a child and have never felt comfortable in plastic frame. They are really uncomfortable. Metal frames with proper adjustable nose pieces are much better.

Ds who is autistic and has a strong prescription couldn’t tolerate the nose pieces, for him plastic frames are much better - I dread the day they stop his frame of choice!

I guess like anything it’s trial and error, I don’t think I wokld go back to nose pieces for me now

God she had a similar prescription to mine. does she find her glasses heavy ? as if I get mine without the lenses thinned out they are very heavy. I also can't wear the wire frame ones as the middles part sits so heavy on my nose that it cuts them. I do find still as an adult that that wearing my glasses cam make my eyes feel tired so I try to vary wearing either lenses or glasses. I also hated wearing my glasses when younger as my mother refused to buy "nice " ones they wearing always the big brown jam jar glasses type. did you allow her to choose her glasses? I would as people say start the reward chart. I would also talk to her to find out why she not liking them. I am not too sure about the praise bit. my sister had to wear glasses and hated them hated poeple commenting in them. as soon as she could she paid for laser eye surgery

@Wexone

God she had a similar prescription to mine. does she find her glasses heavy ? as if I get mine without the lenses thinned out they are very heavy. I also can't wear the wire frame ones as the middles part sits so heavy on my nose that it cuts them. I do find still as an adult that that wearing my glasses cam make my eyes feel tired so I try to vary wearing either lenses or glasses. I also hated wearing my glasses when younger as my mother refused to buy "nice " ones they wearing always the big brown jam jar glasses type. did you allow her to choose her glasses? I would as people say start the reward chart. I would also talk to her to find out why she not liking them. I am not too sure about the praise bit. my sister had to wear glasses and hated them hated poeple commenting in them. as soon as she could she paid for laser eye surgery

@Wexone Yes I let her choose them, I choose my own glasses so I wouldn't not let her choose. She chose a plastic frame and I did think it'd be better for her.

I find metal frame better personally but her dad has plastic frames with no rubber nose pieces so it might be a trial and error.

She's asked to go to B+M with my mum so if she wears them for an hour a day all week, my mums going to take her.

yes plastic is more resilient too. glad to hear you let her picked them. I never let my mother forget 😁 as now over 40 and have been know to spend nearly 1k on glasses as I am like have to wear them every day so will have super nice ones. I also have bed glasses as I fall asleep watching TV and reading and then they get all bendy. had the squint loads of patches when younger. also astigmatism aswell. blessed with my father bads eyesight. fingers crossed for you it works with you and going with her granny

You poor thing. I'm laughing at the suggestions of you putting them back on every single time - like ramming them on her face. Or telling her one of her eyes is naughty- it's not naughty it's not able to see as well as the other one it needs help god love it. Give me strength. My son has just got his and seems positive enough about them- he's similar in that they make little difference to his actual eye sight (for now) but I've noticed since we got them adjusted to his face he's less inclined to wear them. Also they get so filthy so quickly - so I don't blame him for taking them off sometimes. I'm going to buy an industrial size box of glasses wipes so that I always have them in my pocket or the car ready to take 4 layers of fingerprints off.

@Wexone

yes plastic is more resilient too. glad to hear you let her picked them. I never let my mother forget 😁 as now over 40 and have been know to spend nearly 1k on glasses as I am like have to wear them every day so will have super nice ones. I also have bed glasses as I fall asleep watching TV and reading and then they get all bendy. had the squint loads of patches when younger. also astigmatism aswell. blessed with my father bads eyesight. fingers crossed for you it works with you and going with her granny

@Wexone She knows granny will buy her toys AND sweets AND a milkshake if she takes her, whereas I'd make her choose one.

@Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov

You poor thing. I'm laughing at the suggestions of you putting them back on every single time - like ramming them on her face. Or telling her one of her eyes is naughty- it's not naughty it's not able to see as well as the other one it needs help god love it. Give me strength. My son has just got his and seems positive enough about them- he's similar in that they make little difference to his actual eye sight (for now) but I've noticed since we got them adjusted to his face he's less inclined to wear them. Also they get so filthy so quickly - so I don't blame him for taking them off sometimes. I'm going to buy an industrial size box of glasses wipes so that I always have them in my pocket or the car ready to take 4 layers of fingerprints off.

@Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov Thank you, DDs get filthy too, will look into cleaning things for her too.

The majority of children's frames are really rubbish, cheap as chips and uncomfortable. Zoobug are good quality, you might have more luck if they don't hurt.

Try switching to ones with rubber or plastic nose pads rather than ones that just rest on the bridge of your nose. I can't abide them, they're so annoying and uncomfortable. I have to have nose pads, much more comfy.

So she's lost her glasses twice over the weekend and we've had the school morning battle about wearing them, she reluctantly put them on.

I'm going to have a chat with the Senco later in the week, who also happens to be DDs favourite teacher (and also ironically wears glasses!)