Talk to me about real life outside London

[Herewegoagain84]

We’re considering the big move out. I’ve been a Londoner all my life and always considered I would stay, but I’ve got a third child cooking and I think it’s time. I know it sounds mad but I’d love to hear what your life outside London is like - especially with children at the weekend. We have everything so accessible to us here and always plenty to do. Can you talk me through how we might be spending our time and what activities you do / how weekends are spent? If you lived in London previously was it a good decision to move? Thanks!

I checked out parent and toddler groups within a 5 miles radius of the click tower of the small town where I was working. There were 25 options on every morning of the week, including Saturday

4 local cycle clubs
4 swimming pools & leisure centres
1 triathlon club
3 running clubs
3 cinemas
40 coffee shops
7 gym
9 supermarket, no including 2 Iceland and 2 M&S
Trampoline Center
3 Swimming clubs

25 minutes train to city
Or 10 minutes train to city
5 parks & a common for outdoor activities
Climbing wall
Arts Center with another cinema and theatre
2 independent theatres
Both cities have theatres

Oh and I'm rural Scotland, last weekend even in mountains of snow involved dance class, sledging at a nearby hill, trip to the shops, gymnastics class, a child's birthday party and a trip to the cinema.
This weekend dancing, gymnastics, football match and visiting grandparents.

I think you should get out more!

I don’t see this as a weird question to ask at all. Im a non-Londoner who happily lived in London for a good few years and now happily lives back in my home city. Most parts of the country will have access to a similar set of standard activities (football, tennis, swimming, cinema etc) but there’s a whole load of niche activities where you’re lucky if you have the same access outside of London. I’m thinking mainly one-off events, arts based things, markets, a huge number of tourist places (I had a very long bucket list I tried to work through) but also some sports.

I had to give up some hobbies when I left London as there wasn’t easy access to them anymore. If your family interests are hiking in the mountains, well that’s not a problem. But for other families leaving London may mean a change in lifestyle.

Before they’re teenagers, OP, I don’t think it makes a huge difference unless they have the aptitude to excel at something that isn’t catered for well near by. We missed decent children’s theater, the zoo, all the festivals in the summer, and the South Bank, which is just a great spot to hang out on the weekends. In particular, being able to walk/public transit easily to whatever we wanted. We’re fairly central and only a couple of minutes walk from the Northern Line, though. You can live in London and it take longer to get to the centre than it would from further afield.

But I think it really kicks in once they get to the teen years the opportunities London has (or, probably, most big cities) to let them get around by themselves and do stuff are really missed.

Those were the things we missed while we were gone (we moved back), there are some advantages - in particular bigger gardens - that we liked, but it wasn’t enough. The density of services and ability to get around without a car were the main themes in what drove us back.

I am a Londoner of a couple decades standing, I spend a few days a week in a different part of the UK - and I grew up in the country -

With any big move I'd say rent for a year till you buy

If you've come from London and want to go rural (as opposed to a smaller city), I think your best bet will be the edges of a lively market town in hailing distance of a city, or edges of a bigger town with its own cultural life. I'd tread very carefully with villages - obviously they have their upsides but it's not fun for teens, can be dull for adults and you're gonna be a taxi service for them. Also tread carefully with commuter towns.

My kids are mainly working down the mine or sweeping chimneys at the weekend so not much free time for fun

God what a miserable thread - the OP has posted a naive, poorly worded question and aside from a few helpful posters has had an onslaught of passive aggressive cliche ridden anti London sentiment. The one 'joke' about what you might do in the country has been repeated endlessly.

I've lived in both and of course it will differ if you are in another city or on the Yorkshire moors but there is an awful lot of mean spirit on show here.

I suppose at least the OP won't go for AIBU next time though - maybe chat?

but there’s a whole load of niche activities where you’re lucky if you have the same access outside of London. I’m thinking mainly one-off events, arts based things, markets, a huge number of tourist places (I had a very long bucket list I tried to work through) but also some sports

But you'd find similar in any large city. Not exactly the same things obviously but if I wanted to go out and do something arty tomorrow, I could go to the Barbara Hepworth Gallery, Yorkshire Sculpture Park, or there's the national museums of mining, media or railways, or the Royal Armouries, loads of little markets, street food stalls, country house/parks/animal parks, loads of sporting stuff, etc etc etc.

I'm sure you could come up with 'oh but you can't do Armenian folk weaving so London is better' but for 95% of the population, the lower cost of housing that allows people on average salaries to buy their own entire house with a garden and a bedroom for each of their DC combined with a wide range of amenities is a big advantage.

I'm sure you could come up with 'oh but you can't do Armenian folk weaving so London is better' but for 95% of the population, the lower cost of housing that allows people on average salaries to buy their own entire house with a garden and a bedroom for each of their DC combined with a wide range of amenities is a big advantage.

Yeah right

Well this thread is everything I wanted it to be.

God what a miserable thread - the OP has posted a naive, poorly worded question and aside from a few helpful posters has had an onslaught of passive aggressive cliche ridden anti London sentiment. The one 'joke' about what you might do in the country has been repeated endlessly

But can't you see how tiresome it is to see the constant 'only London will do and eveything else is shit' based on complete ignorance is?

Jocasta missed the singing lift in the South Bank centre but we made up for it by going into the high flats' lifts in easterhouse and singing the sash.

Culture is what you make of it.

We found it a bit like the San Fermín running of the bulls in Pamplona. Come to think of it, Pamplona also isn't in London. Do you even have bull running in London?

God I have Londoner relatives like this. They practically hold up cutlery and speak slowly and loudly at me. They've expressed surprise that I have broadband, a job in the booming tech industry and an IKEA in my city.

OP we sit in our holes in the ground wishing that we too lived in your bustling metropolis.

@Serendip20

I don’t see this as a weird question to ask at all. Im a non-Londoner who happily lived in London for a good few years and now happily lives back in my home city. Most parts of the country will have access to a similar set of standard activities (football, tennis, swimming, cinema etc) but there’s a whole load of niche activities where you’re lucky if you have the same access outside of London. I’m thinking mainly one-off events, arts based things, markets, a huge number of tourist places (I had a very long bucket list I tried to work through) but also some sports.

I had to give up some hobbies when I left London as there wasn’t easy access to them anymore. If your family interests are hiking in the mountains, well that’s not a problem. But for other families leaving London may mean a change in lifestyle.

It's weird because there's such a vast diversity of not London in the UK. So a person who lives in Central Edinburgh and does lots of city type things there quite likely has a similar weekend to OPs, which won't help her much if what she actually means by outside London is rural Home Counties or coastal Welsh.

I only lived in London briefly, now in a Northern city.

As your kids get older their weekends will be taken up with birthday parties, sport/music/dance lessons, etc.

I definitely recommend having a car (though I'll admit I don't and I manage...just) as you'll miss out on a fair bit without it.

I do miss the amazing museums in London. There's no way to get the same amount of them here. But OTOH, housing is cheaper and of course there are still things to do up here. Quality of life can be great. The wooded parks in my neighborhood are amazing.

Maybe choose a city with a good rail link to London so you can go for visits easily.

I lived in London and moved out to Essex. I only missed London when I didn’t have children - there was more places to eat/go out. Having had my DS now, life is better outside of London. We can do everything we could have in London (swimming, clubs, parks etc) but have the benefit of beautiful countryside 5 mins from our house and there is less crime/pollution than the area of London I moved from.

@Crepuscularshadows wins

Jocasta missed the singing lift in the South Bank centre but we made up for it by going into the high flats' lifts in easterhouse and singing the sash

Proper laughed.

I lock mine in a cupboard and tell them to imagine what it's like living in London. When they get let out, I charge them extortionate money for the privilege.

I grew up in North wales. Nice place but little to do really compared to living near London. Depends what you like doing though I guess, if it’s restaurants, walks etc it’s the same anywhere. If you like city life maybe another city up north.

Can I steer things back on track? We left London with children aged 8 and 10 in 2006. And you know what? We took them to the theatre perhaps twice the whole time we were there. We were complacent, putting off experiences because we knew there'd always be another slew of productions. Here in the sticks tho we made sure we went to everything. Outdoor theatre, immersive theatre, plain old Shakespeare theatre. Because we DIDN'T take it for granted. Likewise music and any other cultural events
Now the kids are grown and gone I enjoy going up to London a couple
Of times a year and gorge on exhibitions etc. Then I return to my big garden and beach aaahhhhh...

I went to uni with a chap who had never been outside of London (apart from for foreign holidays). He had no idea that a chicken and hen were the same thing (he thought they were completely different species of bird) - he had never seen one in real life either.

I lived in London and then moved slightly further our so that I could always pop back in for my 'fix' when needed! Not so much for my kids but for me!

@BarbaraofSeville

but there’s a whole load of niche activities where you’re lucky if you have the same access outside of London. I’m thinking mainly one-off events, arts based things, markets, a huge number of tourist places (I had a very long bucket list I tried to work through) but also some sports

But you'd find similar in any large city. Not exactly the same things obviously but if I wanted to go out and do something arty tomorrow, I could go to the Barbara Hepworth Gallery, Yorkshire Sculpture Park, or there's the national museums of mining, media or railways, or the Royal Armouries, loads of little markets, street food stalls, country house/parks/animal parks, loads of sporting stuff, etc etc etc.

I'm sure you could come up with 'oh but you can't do Armenian folk weaving so London is better' but for 95% of the population, the lower cost of housing that allows people on average salaries to buy their own entire house with a garden and a bedroom for each of their DC combined with a wide range of amenities is a big advantage.

As I said I am very happy living outside of London. I’m still in a large city but I would say my lifestyle has shifted so that I see what’s available locally and that influences what I do, rather than in London where I would think “I want to take up x” and then find the whole host of places that offered it. Overall the benefits of being able to buy a property, being somewhere quieter, a lovely commute and the access to green space, means that for me living outside London is the right choice, but I can understand why others may feel differently.

Hi OP, we made the move 6 years ago now to Northamptonshire and are now moving over to Warwickshire for better schooling.

Our usual weekend with DD7 and DD4 with variations:

• Walk the dog in one of many parks
• lunch/see Granny (my mum)
• DH takes them out to McDs
• soft play, playground and/or library - we have a great local one
• Swimming

-Baking together

• Ballet (pre Covid)
• Pottering in garden with chickens and Guinea Pigs

A more exciting weekend consists of:

• birthday parties
• Seeing family in different counties
• Local events - the local museum has a bit going on
• Play dates with non-school friends
• London to see family/do an exhibit
• National Trust
• Takeaway
• Theatre - local
• Shopping trip/pocket money spending

What else can be done outside of London, some of my fav places:

• Visit Birmingham
• Calke Abbey
• Manchester City- Trafford Centre
• Cotswolds
• Oxford
• Norfolk Coast
• Leicester for shopping and food
• Dog walking with best friend along canal
• Tamworth Castle (I'm from there)
• Having lunch out solo or with a friend
• enjoying not having to work as much (me and DH are very average earners, if not below average)
• Oxford Natural History Museum

There are loads of ex-London people in Northants and Warwickshire. I also know a few people who visit London for fun/events/ family several times per year. No-one is in awe of us being from London here, although my DH gets a bit of that as a very broad North Londoner from younger lads at his work.

It took us years to settle into this life and we are glad we did- we regret nothing and feel as though our girls get the best of everything being outside a city. It's up to you as parents to continue to enrich their lives with culture, there is loads, you just have to be willing to jump in the car more often or settle for a non-mainstream touring company (not sure of the terminology) for theatre productions- I have never been disappointed by 1 performance I have seen in theatres in Northamptonshire.

Good Luck OP, enjoy it!