Talk to me about real life outside London

[Herewegoagain84]

We’re considering the big move out. I’ve been a Londoner all my life and always considered I would stay, but I’ve got a third child cooking and I think it’s time. I know it sounds mad but I’d love to hear what your life outside London is like - especially with children at the weekend. We have everything so accessible to us here and always plenty to do. Can you talk me through how we might be spending our time and what activities you do / how weekends are spent? If you lived in London previously was it a good decision to move? Thanks!

Friends of ours with three children moved from London to a nice small cathedral city about 20 years ago. Fantastic for the kids growing up, and enough cultural life for the parents to have plenty of choice. Not like 100 shows in any week, but enough to have plenty of variety.

A big thing was that, though there's so much available in London, it may take longer to travel across London than to come in from another town on a day-return. So most of the hundreds of things going on aren't really available without a long journey.

They could afford to live quite centrally, which helps, and near the station so they could easily get to London and other places.

They did lots of research to find exactly what they wanted.

As others have pointed out, a downside is that you need a car to make the most of the countryside.

As the kids grew up and moved out, the parents did consider moving back, but realised they'd got used to fresher air, less crowding and rushing, a generally more comfortable way of life. They still visit London every month or two.

I think it's worth a try, OP.

We spend our time telling terrifying tales of a village even bigger than Clovelly, with houses all balanced on top of each other and tunnels in the ground that iron horses gallop through.

Is this a good thread to admit I've never been to London?

@pawpaws2022 it’s not a real place. No one has ever really been to London

@pawpaws2022

Is this a good thread to admit I've never been to London?

Maybe you went there and are in denial, because it was so awful your mind refused to process it?

@BloodyForeland

Agreed. OP's question is a sensible one.

@PossiblyDreaming

We spend our time telling terrifying tales of a village even bigger than Clovelly, with houses all balanced on top of each other and tunnels in the ground that iron horses gallop through.

Actually, Swansea is the only place where a drunk threw a bottle at me as I pushed my baby in a pram down a city centre street at 6 pm on a Saturday. Four stitches.

Maybe he intuited we'd come from London...

Life does exist out of London 😂

We do sooooo much more at the weekend now we’ve left London. Used to go the park on the scooters and then brave the tube to meet friends for brunch etc.
now.. dance classes sports dog walks in the actual countryside, pubs, national trust, long walks, lunch with friends… life is better away from london,

@Noideaatall

I totally understand what you're asking. (I'm also a Londoner) However I think some of the answers given here might have unintentionally given you an insight into life outside...

I know right.

@BloodyForeland why is London awful? I wouldn't say that about where you come from

Mine all grew up in very rural Sussex. Yes there are drawbacks if you are not used to this way of life. Because if you are someone who pops to the shops when you run out of stuff and haven't got extras then you are going to spend your life in the car.

1. Plan your shopping. By back ups (do a double shop when you move in. Have a kitchen whiteboard or Alexa and shout at her when you are out of the first 'one of something' . That way you never run out.
2. Expectations. My kids (I had seven - at one time they were 19,17x2, 14, 12x2 and 10. And you know what ? NONE of them expected constant lifts. They managed with a combination of taxis (part time jobs from 14) .. driving lessons for birthdays. Cheap cars, friends giving lifts, agreeing to synchronise plans with siblings for pick ups and sleepovers with friends.

The upside is a beautiful place to live. Space big enough for mum and dad never to mind a sleepover . A field big enough for 30 mates to come and camp without driving your parents insane.

Mine are now nearly all in their 20s. Have their own lives but see home as a place to come and unwind. Some live in London .. but as my eldest said only last weekend. We love London but because it's fun for now. We have this - and when we settle down this is what we want for our kids.
(In case you are picturing some kind of stay at home Earth mum living the country life on husbands big city bonus ... nope. I have worked full time in law enforcement since the first. . Husband is a tradesman. )

It depends on where you move to OP 🤣

Where I live (SE commuter town) there are way more playgroups and kids activities and parks and children’s facilities than I could ever access in London unless I wanted an hour on the tube. London is best at monuments, museums, theatres and employment, but for anything else, outside London is better.

Absolutely hated living in London, which I did for decades cos work. The smell, the noise, the dirt everywhere. So glad my kids don’t have to live there.

Where I am now is so friendly! People chat in the street etc.

We moved from London to a small market town. Non white family with londoner DH who was dreading it. We don't even like visiting London now! Our social life improved considerably and we now live in a proper house instead of a shoebox. Endless activities for DC including swimming, rugby, horse riding all in walking distance. Locals super friendly and scenery is beautiful and peaceful. Only downside is that its a bit mono ethnic and not much diversity in general. Also schools are fabulous and safe, unlike London. No stabbings!

@Cocomarine

I take my kids to fields to chew straw at the weekends, to entertain them. We don’t have swimming pools, football clubs, Stagecoach, museums, cycle paths, play parks or friends to visit here outside the M25. What do you actually think we do with our kids at the weekend? 🤣

This !.....And I used to live in London (pre family though)

@PossiblyDreaming

We spend our time telling terrifying tales of a village even bigger than Clovelly, with houses all balanced on top of each other and tunnels in the ground that iron horses gallop through.

It’s not even as though all parts of London are the same. Parts are very, very green, with more accessible open space than other areas in the U.K. Some places in London are a good hour away from the big museums and theatres.

I live in Gloucestershire. We do morris dancing, roll cheese down a steep hill, drink local cider, go wassailing, buy our veg in the local farmers market. Once a year we have 'apple day' where half the market is dedicated to apples and you can get fresh pressed juice. We also have 'potato day' where half the market is dedicated to hundreds of different potato varieties. Sometimes we paddle a little boat down the canal.

But we do also have, within walking distance in my small town, a decent leisure centre with indoor and outdoor swimming pools, a good size gym, loads of sports and kids clubs available, drama groups, skate park, loads of play parks, a museum, a good choice of schools, even a local circus. Within a short drive or bus or train journey from the station two minutes walk from the town centre you have everything you could possibly want and more. So we're not entirely backwards!

It might already have been mentioned, but there’s a Facebook group called Life After London. People very happy to share their experiences and thoughts on different areas.

I don't live in London, where I live there is no swimming pool, no soft play, no cinema, no bowling, no theatre. To access these I'd need to travel by ferry and stay overnight. We do have beaches, wide open spaces and a playpark. At the weekend the children play with toys, go out in garden, go to the beach/park/walk. All under 5 as time goes on there will be horse riding and watersports. Your question is bizarre.

@BloodyForeland possibly!
My dad "of course you've been! We took you when.. ah no. Oh but what about.. oh"
Yeah thanks dad

I mean we lived in Oxford so it wasn't that we were a million miles away

Oh lovely, please don't listen to them. There is no life outside London. Not real life, anyway. It's just set dressing, to give context and backdrop and a feeling of superiority to your wonderful lives inside. Naught but smoke and mirrors and a lot of stage carpentry.

Of course, if there was life outwith London, it would involve a lot of laughter. And eye-rolling. And sometimes we'd try to hack through the bubble to liberate some of you. But I couldn't possibly comment on that, because we're not here, in fact we don't even exist. Sssh!

I'm late to the thread but couldn't resist and hope you've received some helpful and reassuring responses to your very sweet and sincere and batshit bonkers question. I advise you practice being laughed at smiled at, it might happen a lot.

ps. I don't want to alarm you, but there are rumours of whole other countries and languages out here. Probably not true. Mostly harmless.

Last weekend I:
Went to pilates whilst ds went to play football with his dad
Shopped in lidl and came back with a tonne of delicious Italian goodies (don't worry I went in for treats, waitrose delivery on Monday!
Took ds to a party at a trampoline park
Went out with Friends to a local Turkish restaurant and a wine bar, walked home.
Went to church
Met a friend at a national trust to take the dc round a working mill (rainy day activities)
Had Chinese takeaway
The end

OP's question does read a bit comedically but I'm going to assume it was asked in good faith.

I live and grew up in semi-rural SW England - like most people have been saying, life is not all that different! Obviously the pace is slower, there is no Deliveroo and public transport is godawful (at least where I live), so the main thing I would say is that you need to be able to drive if you are going to live even semi-rurally. You can get to everything you would expect - clubs for the kids, cinemas, sports, theatres etc. (although don't expect big acts/shows to make the trek out any further than big cities) - but often it will involve a car ride. As the kids grow up, expect them to want to learn to drive as soon as they can (if they/you have the means) so they can see their friends, go to activities and so on.

The upside to living where I do is I spent the majority of my childhood and teenage years on the beach, the countryside is beautiful and things are less expensive than London. In touristy areas house prices are rising significantly as people buy up second homes so keep that in mind as it may make it difficult to buy or for your kids to stay in the area in the future - although as you already live in London I suspect you'll be used to this!

This is all from the perspective of where I live specifically and other areas of the UK will be so varied there is no single answer to what life 'outside London' is like. Think about what you want - a city? Town? Countryside? Near the beach? Close to London? Not in England at all? And then research from there.

I can't be arsed to wade through all the inevitable replies ridiculing you for asking this question, but as someone who moved out of London six months ago, with a toddler, we do the following:

Soft play
Swimming
Big outdoor playgrounds
Library
Local theatre when it does kids' shows every couple of months
Local farms with petting zoos (there are tons)
Trampolining
Ballet for toddlers
I'm also on the waiting list for football for toddlers

Some days we just walk into the city centre and go to the toy shop, book shop and a cafe. There are a couple of museums where we live too although DD is still a bit too little for them.

In the summer we'll go to the beach half an hour away.

If you are nervous about leaving london I'd suggest looking at other cities or large market towns rather than out into the sticks. I will say that we have a car now and it has opened up many more possibilities than we had in london - it's so easy to hop in and drive 20 mins to a whole heap of activities. I do not miss carrying my buggy up and down stairs on the tube!