Talk to me about real life outside London

[Herewegoagain84]

We’re considering the big move out. I’ve been a Londoner all my life and always considered I would stay, but I’ve got a third child cooking and I think it’s time. I know it sounds mad but I’d love to hear what your life outside London is like - especially with children at the weekend. We have everything so accessible to us here and always plenty to do. Can you talk me through how we might be spending our time and what activities you do / how weekends are spent? If you lived in London previously was it a good decision to move? Thanks!

@JohannSebastianBach

I'm out walking the whippets every hour god sends, that or darning our dad's cloth cap.

😂😂😂😂😂

Less services like deliveroo/Ubers, less OPTIONS for concerts/art galleries/cultural events. Less diversity. Less anonymity.

More space, closer community, more likely your kids will grow up with their friends. You have to drive places.

For all the snark on here, there’s differences between capital city living and a small/medium size town and rural living.

I read to the kids by candlelight we laugh and tell stories by a coal fire, run barefoot through the fields a plenty during the day , wash our clothes in the creek and celebrate the bountiful food on our table garnered from our local brethren. You might want to ask about schools.

Probably controversial but the OP's question seems fair enough to me. I've lived in London and a variety of places outside London and trust me in terms of restaurants, museums, concerts, clubs, venues most other places just can't compete. Of course there are swimming and ballet lessons, but is you actually want to take DC to the ballet or theatre or eat exciting, brilliant food you will seriously struggle to do that outside London, and if you want to do a few of those things in the same weekend you're screwed. Sorry, just telling it like it really is.

astern664 seriously ? I lived in Stratford upon Avon for a while. There's a theatre there. It's quite famous. People travel from all over the world to visit it. There's even restaurants there too....

This is absolutely bonkers. There’s London, then there’s everywhere else? It will largely depend where you choose to live, I’ll go smallish town, walks, horse riding, swimming, meeting friends, cinema, kids clubs, pub, chores, shopping. Probably the same as London with no tube, less museums/galleries cleaner air

you have childen???? we looooooove chidren so tender and delicious......

@AngelinaFibres I'd love to have a nice view to just stare at.

@Cocomarine

Do you think they have soup in London? 🤨

More to the point will the OP find avocados outside the M25?

You've been given quite a hard time here! I'm rural SW, and there just isn't isn't the same range of activities here that we had in the SE. We have to travel an hour+ into Bristol for the science museum (which isn't free) or zoo (which has now shut down) There's football everywhere, and rugby, but we don't have a local scout hut, or gymnastics club (30-40 min drive) or taekwondo etc etc. Eating out is very limited (pub in village, a few restaurants and take aways in town, usual range in the city)

BUT we don't need activities in the same way. We just rotate different beautiful woods/beaches/moors etc. My kids are all primary age and very happy with this at the moment, I'm not sure if/when that will change! It's just so quiet down here (except the 6 week holiday 🙄) and very mundane walks still feel magical to us when we've got the whole place to ourselves.

@Pluvia

I offer you this, OP: just an example of where you could move to;

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/find.html?locationIdentifier=REGION%5E82166&propertyTypes=&mustHave=&dontShow=&furnishTypes=&keywords=

A short walk to Bute Park where there are events throughout the year, Cardiff Castle and then the delights of the city centre. You can walk into town and go to John Lewis and the Museum and the rugby and the cricket. You can take a short bus or train journey (15 minutes) to the Bay. This is one of the most buzzy, desirable areas of Cardiff: some nice independent local shops, good cafes and bars and restaurants. You can park outside your house and you won't have to spend 12 hours a week in the car, getting the children to school/ nursery or whatever. Every imaginable activity you can think of based at Chapter Arts and all the other fantastic initiatives within walking distance.

I lived in Zone 2 from 1981 to 1989, then in Zone 3 till 2002. I worked in W1 for most of that time. I went to the theatre and gigs and all the other things London offers but never felt I had found my community. I came to Cardiff and it gave me a quality of life I could only have dreamed of in London. You don't have to give up cities, just find a more family-friendly city.

Son and DIL live in Penarth. Best place to live in Wales .

You’ll need to steady yourself for this OP but where I’m from in Wales we don’t have the following - a take a way delivery service , fast food places few and far between, the nearest McDonald’s is 45 mins away.

The cinema has two screens the small one seats about 50 ( in non covid times).

Some places don’t take card only cash but we trundle along happily I would say.

Fair question, I have moved the other direction. Were I to move back I would miss evening public transport, the choice of cinema and music, and the higher salary.

Our weekend:

Swimming lessons on Saturday morning (half an hour drive away. There are closer options but not at the time we need with the exact age groups we need)
Home for naps and lunch
Friends round in the afternoon. DH goes to play rugby. Sometimes we go too and watch/play in the park etc

Sunday's are a day of relaxing/family time. We sometimes do days or afternoons out.
Shopping (20mins drive to the nearest town)
Meet friends
Parks (walking distance)
Country parks for a walk (loads of options within 20mins drive)
Kids birthday parties
Local attractions like farm, wwt centre to feed ducks (both around 20mins drive)
Cinema (half an hour away)
Visit family (15mins drive)

We tend to save big days out like zoo, Safari park, train to the museum etc for during the week when DH takes annual leave as it's less busy. Likewise soft play I would do with them in the week when it's less busy. Both these are because the DC are pre school age so we can take them out during the week.

Not sure what you do in London on the weekend but most of ours is based on the kids social lives and that will only get worse as they get older!

We live in semi rural north west England

@Herewegoagain84 what do you do at the weekend that is specifically 'London'?

@Hopefulsunrise

I read to the kids by candlelight we laugh and tell stories by a coal fire, run barefoot through the fields a plenty during the day , wash our clothes in the creek and celebrate the bountiful food on our table garnered from our local brethren. You might want to ask about schools.

No problems with schools, everyone in The North leaves school at 14.

@Herewegoagain84

I grew up outside London (Home Counties) but have lived in London for 20 years. Agree it’s great for kids and we’re staying.

A big difference is time spent in the car. The ‘fields out the back / to a town’ means getting into the car for everything. Every pint of milk, every school run or kids activity.

In a town that should be better, but the range of stuff you can walk to / get to easily by public transport is going to be a much shorter list.

Our family home was a 20 min brisk walk for an adult to the centre. So even though it’s London commutable in under an hour, it’s still a very different pattern of life. When we were little walking into town was a major trip. We mostly took the car to every after school thing or activity.

Towns close to London this means v busy traffic all the time (eg Saturday mornings) as well during the week.

More rural will be quieter, but then further to drive to get to whatever you want to do.

So think about that. Another larger town or city might be worth considering if you like the convenience and livability of London. But easier and quicker to get out of them and into proper countryside

I don't think anyone should be behaving as if the OP asked a stupid question. I'll be quite honest and say my move out of London (I'm not from the UK but had lived first in Oxford and then in London for 18 years) was an unhappy experience. We moved to a midlands village not far outside a city when I was on maternity leave with my son. I grew up in the country, and liked it, so I wasn't expecting it to be such a miserable experience, but we never integrated, despite big efforts over years (the usual stuff -- volunteering, working locally, getting involved in events, child in pre-school and school, using local businesses etc). Not sure whether hostility to down to being perceived as Londoners, or as foreigners. It was a safe, peaceful place, and we were able to afford a large house on the edge of a village, rather than a tiny one-bed flat in Zone 2, but that was the only positive. I found it insular, xenophobic, politically extremely conservative with a big and small 'c', and after seven years we gave up and left.

As for what we did at weekends -- DH's work involved travel within the UK at weekends, and as there was nothing at all appealing to do locally, or in the nearest city, other than go for walks (which was difficult in wet weather as the local soil was very clay-ey), DS and I tended to go with him. To that I owe the nice discoveries of places I'd never previously been and liked immediately, like Newcastle and Liverpool, and Glasgow and Bristol.

I no longer live in the UK, but I do regard that move out of London as a miss-step. The extra space, good air quality, quiet and safety didn't make up to me for the loss of the sheer variety of people and the cultural stuff.

so, how often do you Londoners go out to eat at unusual restaurants, or to the ballet or to the busy chess club?

Because, we have those things on my doorstep (not every night of the week, TBF) and I never do any of it.

I am a long way from the M25 (please send thoughts and prayers) and would be more likely to make a weekend of it with a family rail card to London and a premier inn at City Hall and do that once every two years rather than go to our local theatre to see the touring version.

I don't believe you're there every week, it's spendy!

There are pros and cons wherever you live. Bleedingly obvious comment but it depends what you like doing and what you're looking for in your life.

I've lived in a smallish Scottish town, a Scottish city, a large city in the N of England, London and rural France. They all had good and bad points.

So my own personal experience and views:

There is some stuff in London that nowhere else will match: the range of theatres, museums, art exhibitions, restaurants and shops. Yes, these things exist elsewhere but not the same variety. Also, the multicultural aspect. I used to love sitting in a cafe and hearing all the different languages around me. I had friends of all ages and nationalities which hasn't been the case in other places I've lived. You feel very anonymous walking around. Nobody cares what you wear or what you look like. Sometimes that felt lonely and sometimes liberating. The parks are great but you are miles from the countryside and the coast. I missed that.

In a small Scottish town people are generally friendly and will take the time to stop and chat, in shop or at a bus stop. The pace is more relaxed. People know each other; that can be nice but also as a young person you can feel rather constrained. Individuality can be viewed judgementally. If you choose the right town you will be near some beautiful countryside. You will not have a big choice of schools. On the other hand almost everyone goes to the local school which in my experience was a good thing.

Life in a large city elsewhere in the UK offers many of the same opportunities as London but with less variety as far as theatre, museums etc go. But you will find plenty of gyms, yoga classes, sports teams, book clubs, language classes etc etc, and good schools if you do your research. If you are on the outskirts of a large city with good transport links, you will be able to get into the countryside easily and into town quickly and for me that's probably the best of both worlds.

Rural France is obviously completely different - fantastic in some ways and less so in others, but I don't think that's relevant to this conversation

So much happier out of London. Was scared to leave as it felt like the centre of the world but I haven’t missed it once (and you can always visit, in fact it’s more exciting when you do). Life just feels like much less pressure. Still resllt multicultural and really smart people, just done with London 24/7.

Weekends are going out to big country parks, walks in the countryside, we have heaps going on in our local town so we go out for breakfast and lunch a lot. We drive to a lot more places but can also walk locally. A lot more for my ds!

I think this is a bit of a silly question - I've lived in three different cities (not London) and the most rural part of Scotland. They are ALL vastly different, even the cities. So where are you actually wanting to go?

I found in London unless you lived in a really expensive village there was less of a community feeling. I know all my neighbours now, have heaps of friends and so many independent places with friendly people. Also a lot of people with ‘normal’ jobs and much more mixing with different classes and nationalities!

Erm I live in Coventry and believe it or not it’s pretty urban around here. Smack bang in the middle of the country.

We have clubs, pubs, parks, restaurants, multiple swimming pools, a large water park, multiple cinemas, three theatres, two universities, a myriad of entertainment complexes, a large grassroots football scene, a football stadium, shopping centres, gyms and loads more things.

OP your post is a bit embarrassing. There’s life beyond London. Plenty of it.

I totally understand what you're asking. (I'm also a Londoner) However I think some of the answers given here might have unintentionally given you an insight into life outside...