Talk to me about real life outside London

[Herewegoagain84]

We’re considering the big move out. I’ve been a Londoner all my life and always considered I would stay, but I’ve got a third child cooking and I think it’s time. I know it sounds mad but I’d love to hear what your life outside London is like - especially with children at the weekend. We have everything so accessible to us here and always plenty to do. Can you talk me through how we might be spending our time and what activities you do / how weekends are spent? If you lived in London previously was it a good decision to move? Thanks!

@WellThatsMeScrewed

We send our kids down the pit at the weekends

Haha. There is some great weekend inspiration on this thread.

This thread is hilarious.

Maybe ask the question again as “how much time do you spend, of a weekend, driving your children to their various hobbies and social engagements?” This is what puts me off.

Well I don’t live in a field, I live in a massive 5 bed house with a huge garden in a pleasant area which I can afford precisely because ITS NOT IN LONDON.

Mainly moving haybales around and watching animals mount each other, if I'm honest. The children entertain themselves by scrambling across the thatched roofs trying to catch crows but the vicar usually tells them off.

We put ferrets down our trousers and try to catch greased pigs.
See life isn’t too bad…we can afford trousers

I lived in London from birth to my early 30s. For the last twenty years, I've lived mainly in York and Leeds with a stint in Oxford.

If I could afford to move back to London, I would without hesitation. The range of things on offer in London the theatre, the comedy clubs, the chess clubs, the book clubs, the art-house cinemas, the museums, the variety of cultures, the universities the sheer amount of stuff going on that caters to all kinds of esoteric and off-beat interests off the scale. And still, after twenty years, I miss it.

On the other hand, the amount of money it takes to live
comfortably in London is outrageous and well outside what I can afford. I'm not all that enthusiastic about living far away from the centre because, now used to compact cities, travelling around London is a huge faff. Here, I can afford a decent house, it's easy to get around the city, there are still some interesting things to do and see, I have more free time to do the things I'm interested in.

In the end, it's a trade-off between two quite different lives. I'm still sorry to have had to leave London -- I felt very at home there. But, overall, I'm not unhappy with how things have turned out.

Everyone I know who has left London; NCT, school mum, neighbourhood friends didn't move to London until they were adults & have just returned to "home"

I suppose our experiences will all be different (which doesn't stop some people eagerly rush to slam 9 million people for 'London centric' based on a handful of posters).

With the people I know, some born and bred have left (some by choice, others priced out by 'London centric' house prices). But yes like you I know many people who aren't born and bred Londoners - who came after school or university, before moving back home or somewhere else later on.

The non born and bred tend to be (in my personal experience) the ones who seem most apprehensive about leaving. I think some non Londoners who move here have a romanticised view of London - which they cling on to even when planning to move out.

Christ, there's some nasty people on here

OP you remind me of my SIL who says she was worried about leaving London because families there go to the park!!! I was

This weekend I’m getting a takeaway tonight, hair salon whilst kids play football tomorrow morning, cinema tomorrow afternoon, out for a pub lunch Sunday and then theatre in the evening. Those activities sound familiar??

I don’t think this is a silly question at all and you’ve been somewhat unnecessarily laid into here. If OP has lived in London all her life, surely it’s fair to ask what life outside London is like.

We live in a large village far enough from London that the area has its own centre of gravity. Here are our plans the next few weekends:

Going to the Imperial War Museum
Dog agility
Sunday lunch with friends
Go Ape treetop adventure
Weekly music school
DS is visiting the Houses of Parliament by train with school
Dinner and bowling tonight
Fish and chips on the beach with friends, torches, campfire, blankets
Lots of muddy dog walks
Golf lessons
Swimming at the local country club
Fossil hunting on the local beach
Normal home stuff
Supper with a friend and a film at the local Curzon
Ice skating
Snowdrop walk at RHS garden
DH loves the garden and he and DS have a veg garden project to get stuck into

I guess some of those will be similar to your plans OP. Although we drive a lot now, I do find the logistics of doing stuff 1000% easier outside London.

Well, we moved from London to Yorkshire and now sit all weekend grubbing up carrots and eating them raw, and licking pieces of coal for the additional nutrients!

We do normal stuff, like ice skating, visiting the Royal Armories to watch jousting (coming sunday), gym club, karate club, swimming lessons, piano lessons, walk in the Peak district, cycle, play tennis and badminton and a hundred other things. Oh they also have nice coffee outside London too.

I was (Maybe am) a Londoner, moved out to afford a house.. only thing I miss is galleries and Museums- and the Public Transport.

But now so many Londoners are buying round here, prices are rocketing.
( Bristol area)

@KimWexlersPonyTail

Milton Keynes actually has masses of things for families, BMX park tennis clubs, several pools, sailing clubs, canoe/kayak/paddle boarding club, gymnastics club, soccer clubs, cricket clubs, bowls clubs, sea cadets, army cadets, air cadets, scouts, brownies, guides, two dance schools, nat trust propertiess close by, Bletchley Park. Large shopping centre, ski dome, theatre, art gallery. All this exists outside of London.

I think you missed wake boarding!

@BeefSupreme

We naughtily run through the wheat fields.

Hahahah

Mine are grown up now, but when they were little they did Dancing, Swimming, Rugby, Football, Brownies / Guides / Cubs / Scouts, Fencing, Martial arts and musical theatre.
When they weren't doing organised activities we would either go shopping in the city we live in, or to the beach (15 minute one way) or out into the countryside (20 minutes the other way) or they'd play outdoors with friends because it's safe for them to do so.
Unless your family's interests are so niche that they're only catered for in Londonthen it'll do all of you some good to get out of the city and get some fresh air into you

Reading with interest (well, the bits that aren’t sarcastic), as I occasionally mull over the idea of moving out.

We live in a leafy suburb so think we might already have the best of both worlds - we have great parks and woodland within an easy walk, but also a cinema, swimming pools, dozens of restaurants, useful shops etc. 30mins into the centre of London for everything you might want.

I live in London but grew up in a smaller Northern city. One thing I find annoying is that whenever you make suggestions about things to do to make money/entertain kids/childcare solutions or in political debate people accuse you of living in a London bubble and not realising what life is like for people who are "not the metropolitan elite" but whenever people ask for insights into family life outside London you get scoffed at for assuming anything beyond London is culturally different. Having a foot in both camps I do think there are differences. The sheer population density and the fact there are lots of differing communities sandwiched together means there just is more organised entertainment going on. Kids'activities, parties etc sure but downtime at the weekend for me tends to involve finding something that's going on in central London somewhere and exploring it. Outside of London it tends to involve heading into the countryside for something to do with nature. I eat out a lot, and more cheaply, in London than I do in my home town, and go shopping for interesting ingredients. But travel can be more stressful and time consuming. People move in and out of London a lot more so there are more people without family support imo. This is good for building networks but can be destabilising when people leave. People do "happen to be in London" and look you up, whereas if I moved to a small town it would probably just be friends close enough to come and stay that I'd stay in touch with. These things are subtle differences but I do think they make a difference to what day to day life can feel like.

@WellThatsMeScrewed

We send our kids down the pit at the weekends

This really made me laugh!

Agree that public transport and the woeful lack (and ridiculous cost) will be a big issue, so be prepared to drive everywhere and be a taxi service for your children. Primary schools often very local but secondary schools / colleges are a coach ride away and I see students waiting for their rides to colleges as early as 7.30am to deal with the traffic and pick ups.

“We naughtily run through wheat fields”

That actually made me laugh out loud😂

We have to move the coal that is delivered on Friday into the bath which is where everyone keeps it. Actually that's not true, not many people can afford coal. If you're really lucky the kids will be able to go to a posh area and beg a crust or to.

@MrsWinters

We put ferrets down our trousers and try to catch greased pigs. See life isn’t too bad…we can afford trousers

Trousers - hoity toity

The problem is that op is dividing the country into London and not-London. But not-London could be a lighthouse in the outer Hebrides or a flat in central Manchester or a house boat on the Norfolk Broads or a million and one other things. It's an unanswerable question.

South west Wales. : Walks on the beaches. Surfing. Kayaking SUP. Boat trips. Fish and chips on the pier. Picnics and barbecues in country parks Athletics club. Music lessons meeting up with family and friends. Shopping in the nearest towns and cities. Cinema theatre takeout attending chirch events. Concerts swimming in a great leisure centre also with swimming lessons. Going to the gym for older teen.

Another way to look at it is if you did move out of London what would you like your weekends to be like? What would you hope to gain? What would you not be prepared to give up?